To find it stressful juggling flatmates and long hours job?

[whatmoredoyouwantfromme]

Just moved into a new place with three friends and about to start a demanding work grad training contract, which will involve long hours and studying for exams. My flatmates have various different jobs: one's a student and two work 9-5. I really like them and want to get to know them better, have long dinners etc etc - but am dreading being the one who comes back late every night and then has to go straight to my room to study when they are hanging out together... Aibu to think maybe it would have been better/less distracting to have lived on my own?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Well, yes, I'm sure it would have been less distracting to have lived on your own. Could you afford it? If not, then you'll just have to make it work, I guess.

It seems a bit OTT to be 'dreading' this already. Most people have to work, and most of us don't get to party all the time. So unless there's something you're not getting across in your OP, I don't follow what the problem is.

[whatmoredoyouwantfromme]

Fair enough. Ok "dreading" too strong a word - I suppose what I mean is am I a fool for trying to live with friends with very different hours from me and should I have lived with people in similar jobs.

[whatmoredoyouwantfromme]

I feel like I will miss out on seeing them properly

[Bringmewineandcake]

I think the company will be good for you as and when you can manage it. If you were just going back to an empty flat all the time then when would you ever socialise?

[whatmoredoyouwantfromme]

Thanks - hopefully!

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

It might be a total disaster - or it might be brilliant. There is really no way to tell when it comes to flatshares. Even the greatest friends can find living together challenging.

I wouldn't stress about it. Just be prepared to roll with the punches, really. And get good headphones/ear plugs, just in case.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Eh? Just make an effort, tidy up after yourself and pull your weight in the household, don't leave passive aggressive notes and you'll be fine.

Even with long hours there are still weekends, evenings and plenty of time for a social life. It's not like you've got children to look after is it?

Honestly, you don't know you're born!

[Artandco]

I think it's fine. Dh and I often are in later than one other, one of us back earlier with kids and then we might not have loads of time free until the weekend or whatever

Just tell them your busy, will be in room working a fair bit. But you can still get home say 7pm, make some dinner and head to room a bit, then head out at say 9pm for a glass of wine and chat with them and then work again after if needed

I'm sure you will find even those on 9-5 jobs will often be busy in the evenings anyway out of the home or just in their room also

[IrenetheQuaint]

Surely you can see them on Friday evenings/at weekends sometimes? Just make an effort when you can. If two are working 9-5 then at least they probably won't be having wild weeknight parties.