To not go to a wedding at 36 weeks pregnant?

(80 Posts)
Rattusn Mon 29-Aug-16 08:03:37

I'm Invited to a wedding at around 36 weeks pregnant.

The main issue is that it is abroad, and if I were to go into labour, then it would obviously complicate matters somewhat.

I could take a ferry and drive, which I assume would be allowed, but I'm not particularly comfortable with that.

It is a reasonably close friend, who I think may get annoyed. WIBU to turn down the invite? If it was a UK wedding I would go, but I don't feel like going abroad in late pregnancy is a good idea. (Dh would not have be coming)

PotteringAlong Mon 29-Aug-16 08:04:06

Abroad? Not a chance!

AntiHop Mon 29-Aug-16 08:05:05

Yanbu. I wouldn't go that far from home at that point in my pregnancy.

bonzo77 Mon 29-Aug-16 08:05:35

No way. YANBU.

Afreshstartplease Mon 29-Aug-16 08:05:56

Yanbu

I'm 32 weeks and wouldn't leave the country for anything right now

eightbluebirds Mon 29-Aug-16 08:06:16

YANBU. U.K. Wedding I'd say YABU but who can be arsed to go abroad for a wedding at 36 weeks pregnant!

SueTrinder Mon 29-Aug-16 08:06:39

I was going to say YABU because there are hospitals all over the country and you are unlikely to go into labour that early so you should enjoy your last few weeks of freedom. But since it's overseas then no, YANBU. DS was born at 36 weeks so my view might be slightly coloured though.

Frazzled2207 Mon 29-Aug-16 08:07:37

Yanbu. No way. You might manage a wedding half an hour from home but abroad, no way!
Btw some ferry companies won't take you after 32 weeks. Found this out having booked a Brittany Ferries holiday for 34ish weeks which we then had to cancel.

foreverclockwatching Mon 29-Aug-16 08:08:15

Yanbu. 36 weeks today, just come back from UK based wedding of friend, was lovely but knackering and wound up leaving at half 9! I'm relieved now to be home in case things happen. I won't be going too far now until LO arrives. Would not have gone had it been abroad!

Evergreen17 Mon 29-Aug-16 08:09:08

YANBU I have a wedding in Australia around that time
We already said no sorry. Sad but tbh we couldnt afford it anyway!
So kind of happy that the dates match like this.

I am, however, considering Christmas, when I will be 34 and 35. Only short trip to Spain but it can be hell to reach my hometown (did it yesterday and thought what a pain!)

I also worry about giving birth abroad. I know they say it is fine to fly of you get a letter from doctor but I dunno

DownWithThisSortaThing Mon 29-Aug-16 08:09:09

Abroad! Nope, I wouldnt go either.

Why might they get annoyed with you? It's not your fault! You have to prioritise your health.

MrsMozart Mon 29-Aug-16 08:09:14

Nope. I a) couldn't have hauled my fat arse anywhere other than local shops by that stage, and couldn't have stopped being sick on a boat; and b) needed to ait down and raise feet at any given moment.

As you can tell, I really did pregnancy confused blushsad

MrsMozart Mon 29-Aug-16 08:10:01

And if friend annoyed then friend needs to get over self.

MrsJayy Mon 29-Aug-16 08:11:15

Yanbu just don't go if your friend gets annoyed then its their issue not yours it sounds a trek.

Zippidydoodah Mon 29-Aug-16 08:12:23

Definitely not. I really felt the instinctive urge to stay close to home at that stage. Hopefully your friend will understand !

PotatoBread Mon 29-Aug-16 08:12:44

Abroad? Would be foolish and irresponsible to leave the country at that late stage in pregnancy IMO

waitinglistquery Mon 29-Aug-16 08:12:51

The rules for ferries are similar to flying so they may not accept you, or as a minimum will require a doctor's note. And you will need shit hot insurance cover! I wouldn't go personally.

waitinglistquery Mon 29-Aug-16 08:15:14

Here's a good overview of the different ferry companies' rules, although obviously you shohld check direct with the one you'd use:

ferrycrossings.org.uk/ferry-travel/ferry-travel-when-pregnant/

Stellabystarlight Mon 29-Aug-16 08:18:22

YANBU. I had to travel abroad at 32 weeks both pregnancies but that's as late as I was comfortable with (and I was staying with family).

You might also have trouble getting travel insurance to cover you. And that would cover baby once born.

Depends on the length of ferry crossing but some of them won't carry you much earlier than airlines eg Hull(longer time on board/potential need for airlift).

MollyCule Mon 29-Aug-16 08:19:01

I went to a wedding abroad at 33/34 weeks but wouldn't have gone at 36 weeks. In fact I didn't go to a UK wedding at 36 weeks because it was a 3 hour drive away and I was knackered (partly from going to other wedding!). YANBU and if your friend can't see that she's definitely unreasonable, maybe she'll understand when she gets pregnant! In any case if you get married abroad you have to accept that some people won't be able to make it.

metaphoricus Mon 29-Aug-16 08:22:05

I'm annoyed on your behalf that you feel pressured enough to even ask that question on here. Of course Yanbu. You are the boss in this situation. Anybody who would get annoyed about it is B incredibly U.
I really hope you won't worry about this any more.

Amelie10 Mon 29-Aug-16 08:22:23

Yanbu at all, I didn't go to a wedding at 30 weeks so I would think 36 weeks is more than reasonable. Tough if your friend gets annoyed, it means that she would rather you take a chance if something happens instead of being understanding.

DownWithThisSortaThing Mon 29-Aug-16 08:23:01

I'd not even thought about the insurance. It could end up costing you a fortune and be quite stressful and tiring so don't put yourself through it.

Your friends will just have to accept that having a wedding abroad will mean it is just much harder - or not possible - for some people to go. if they get huffy about the inevitable then they should have booked one closer to home (assuming they live in the uk and not abroad!)

Laurah1979 Mon 29-Aug-16 08:24:54

I found out the hard way that most ferry companies won't let you travel after 32 weeks.

fabulous01 Mon 29-Aug-16 08:25:13

My friend did that. I thought she was potty.
Your decision

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