Ironing DH's shirts

(60 Posts)
user1472419718 Sun 28-Aug-16 22:43:31

I am a single female in my 20s. My DM (in her 50s) told me today that when I am married I will need to iron my DH's shirts. I will also (according to her) be expected to do all the housework.

Firstly, I may not get married, and if I do it might not necessarily be to a man. Secondly, why should I iron his shirts? It's not like I will be wearing them!

AIBU to think that this is an old-fashioned and out of date attitude, and not the norm among couples my age? And do you iron your DH/DP's shirts, even if you don't like ironing?

Astoria797 Sun 28-Aug-16 22:45:55

Husband irons my shirts and does most of the housework because I'm useless.

PickAChew Sun 28-Aug-16 22:48:41

Fuck that.

DH (usually) irons his own stuff. And some of the kid's stuff. And sometimes mine. Yes, we do the odd item for each other, but it's not a given.

Drowzeee Sun 28-Aug-16 22:48:52

Not all men wear shirts for work anyway but I probably would iron them whilst doing the rest of the ironing.

I certainly wouldn't be doing all the housework though, he can help with that!

PickAChew Sun 28-Aug-16 22:49:18

I'm not that much younger than your mum, btw.

clam Sun 28-Aug-16 22:49:27

I am in my 50s too and yes, it is an old-fashioned and out-dated attitude. Nothing to do with age, however. The more I read on MN, the more astounded I am at the number of (young) women out there who are locked into some sort of time-warp when it comes to household chores - namely, they do the lot.

LumpyMcBentface Sun 28-Aug-16 22:49:45

I haven't ironed for about 11 years. Dh doesn't wear shirts for work but if he did he'd iron them himself.

ThymeLord Sun 28-Aug-16 22:51:13

Daily Mail, is that you?

Boleh Sun 28-Aug-16 22:51:42

Neither of us do ironing. I buy non-iron dresses and might run an iron over them every half a dozen washes or so. He wears polo shirts to work - personally I think they look really scruffy unironed and I wouldn't wear them like that but it's up to him, I'm not doing it and he doesn't care enough to do it. Some of my older work colleagues were appalled that I 'let him' go to work in wrinkled shirts - I explained that he was an adult and I didn't feel his appearance reflected on me!

ThymeLord Sun 28-Aug-16 22:52:13

Just the word 'female' makes my red flag bunting pop out automatically..

SabineUndine Sun 28-Aug-16 22:52:23

I'm the age your DM is and last time I ironed a man's shirt, it was my dad's!

ImperialBlether Sun 28-Aug-16 22:52:25

This is a very odd thread from a newcomer to MN.

Do you really take much notice of your mum when you're in your 20s?

And if you're in your 20s, your mum is what, in her 40s or 50s? Does she really think you should be a servant to your husband? That seems very old fashioned.

junebirthdaygirl Sun 28-Aug-16 22:53:34

I'm in my 50s and when we got married 30 years ago l started ironing dhs shirts as l was all wifey. He said what are you doing? I've been ironing my own shirts for ten years. His dm never ironed for him since he was 16. Very rarely ironed one since. So marry a guy whose dm doesn't iron for him.

NightOwlKitty Sun 28-Aug-16 22:54:38

My DS is preparing to go away to college soon. A male friend commented that he will have to learn to iron his own shirts. He was very surprised to learn that he already does his own washing and ironing... I am not his maid!!
My own mother has the attitude of your mother. Don't let it infect you! wink

mathsmum314 Sun 28-Aug-16 22:55:05

what is an Iron?

BackforGood Sun 28-Aug-16 22:55:19

Well, I think this is more about your Mum's very outdated attitudes than her generation.
I am in my 50s - as indeed are many of my friends, siblings, cousins, colleagues, etc., and I don't know anyone who thinks like that.

Personally, we don't iron. I know my sister irons her dh's shirts along with the rest of the ironing they do, as she finds ironing quite satisfying and a good excuse to sit in front of rubbish tele for an hour or two, and her dh does other stuff around the house. My ds does the most ironing in this house - he has a 'thing' about neatly pressed shirts which neither dh or I are so bothered about.
It makes sense to me, when you are part of a couple, or family to do things for each other, rather than individually do your own washing or ironing or cooking or whatever, but yes, I would presume both partners would be pulling their weight.
That said, my parents both felt they needed to pull their weight, and they would be well into their 80s is they were still with us.
So, YANBU to think like you do.
YABU to think this is a new thing for your age group.

iklboo Sun 28-Aug-16 22:56:11

What is this 'ironing' of which you speak?

PortiaFinis Sun 28-Aug-16 22:56:26

Actually I'm quite interested in this.

I iron DH's shirts, I am SAHM (I have a part time job for 10 hours a week from home), I do pretty much all household tasks/admin and homework stuff (he may empty the dishwasher once in a while) and car maintenance, he works long hours, we have three children, two in primary school, one pre-school.

I'm not sure if this is a fair division of labour or not.

One thing that once mildly irritated me was when he was trying to be helpful he said he would do his shirts but the implication was he wouldn't do the rest of the ironing.

Anyway YANBU, particularly if you both work I don't think any reasonable man would expect it all to fall to you.

user1472419718 Sun 28-Aug-16 23:00:49

I'm not a total newcomer, I have posted before but lost old account details. I am currently still living with parents, until I can afford to get on the property ladder, so I do get to listen to what they think most of the time.

My mum (in her 50s) genuinely does think that as a woman I should be responsible for all the housework. We do have a cleaner, but the remainder she does herself, with some help from me. My dad does no housework at all.

And no, I'm definitely not from the Daily Mail!

Philoslothy Sun 28-Aug-16 23:01:22

I iron my DH's shirts. I like doing things for him and don't work so have plenty of time. I like ironing - housework that goes with Netflix

kurlique Sun 28-Aug-16 23:02:46

YANBU! DH does the ironing in our house... Though I generally do my fiddly blouses (they drive him mad and I choose to wear them) but he's shite at cooking so I do it all under normal circumstances (I have given up on teaching him and focusing on ensuring the DC are competent in the kitchen instead!) - basically we play to our strengths... I hate ironing and he doesn't and vice versa for cooking. I generally put the washing in and we share cleaning duties. I only work PT but do 99% of the child taxiing and most of the household admin so I reckon it all comes out to about fair. Equality is essential in any relationship and your mum is being archaic!

AppleJac Sun 28-Aug-16 23:04:21

I do all dh ironing plus my own and dds. I do all the food shopping and 80% of the cooking. I deal with dd in bathing her, taking her to nursery etc.

Dh works from home but he has a hell of alot on all the time.

We do have a cleaner for 3 hours a week but i do a basic clean during the week (1.5 hours worth)

I change all the beds and make them every morning and i do all the tidying up.

I do 4 hours of admin a month for the business but thats it.

I can see dh is flat out with work so obviously everything falls down to me.

If i worked fulltime then absolutley dh would have to do more

Specialapplek Sun 28-Aug-16 23:07:30

I iron DH's shirts because he is absolutely rubbish at it. Takes him ages and he never gets all the creases out. I didn't like ironing at the beginning but have gotten so efficient at it that now I don't even think about it.

DH vacuums and mops because I don't like to do them. Don't see what's the big deal... it's just division of household chores isn't it?

PickAChew Sun 28-Aug-16 23:07:46

Your poor dad clearly has such a big dick that he can't reach the shelves to dust them and randomly presses all sorts of buttons rather then the one that turns on the vacuum cleaner.

Don't be your mum.

PickAChew Sun 28-Aug-16 23:09:26

And that was to OP - if you both do stuff to keep your joint home and things in good condition, in a manner involving a few swapsies, then no problem.

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