To be flabbergasted by the utter cheek of this woman

[Whatacheek]

I'm posting on behalf of my Dsis who is without internet connection at the moment. We're both interested to see what other mumsnetters opinion is on this.

My Dsis has been with her DP for around 9 years. He has a teenage son with his ex, therefore the ex is still in his life to some degree, as you would expect. They split years before he got together with my DSis. The ex has remained single since their split. She has always made it quite obvious she can't stand my Dsis and is very jealous of their relationship. When they first moved into together she wouldn't let their son visit, Dsis DP had to visit him at her house. The ex and my Dsis have come across each other at family events etc and my Dsis will always say hello and try to be polite, she will not even look at my Dsis let alone mutter a hello. It's also got back to my Dsis that the ex has made bitchy comments about her and our family. Basically she's always been an utter cow. You would think Dsis had been the other woman.

My Dsis and her partner have just moved into a lovely new house, which they had built. They invited his Mother and two sisters over this afternoon to see the house for the first time. Guess who had tagged along with them? Yes that's right, the ex who has made it plainly obvious she hates my Dsis guts. Obviously the need to come and be nosey at their house was so strong she couldn't resist. She managed to say hello to my Dsis but did not talk to or acknowledge her for the remainder of the visit.

Are we being unreasonable or has she got more front that Brighton Beach? I also can't believe her DP Mother or sisters agreed to let her come along. She's been open to them about her feelings towards DSis.

Dsis was too stunned to say anything.

[bluebeck]

Why didn't BIL say anything????

[EverySongbirdSays]

Fuck me that's a weird way to behave, and even weirder that your sisters MIL thought that she'd a) want to go b) it was ok to bring her

I don't think that anyone, your sisters in laws included has accepted that marriage is over

[LottieL]

What bluebeck said. I often think that half the AIBU threads wouldn't need to be started it people (partners included) were a little more assertive.
His parents, his sister, his ex. He could have had a word with them afterwards, or even told her to naff off out of his house before she got in.

[Bluechip]

YANBU but why on earth didn't her MIL, SILs or DH stop this from happening? How did she even know about the visit unless one of them told them and why would they do that? That's a genuine question - what's the relationship, why would they do that when she's been so foul to your DSIS over nine years?

[ChicRock]

More fool your sister for letting her over the doorstep.

She might as well have laid down and let the ex wipe her feet on her on the way in

[EarthboundMisfit]

My initial thought was OMFG...but surely she needs to see the place that will be her DCs' home some of the time?

[M00nUnit]

Why would she "need" to see it Earthboundmisfit? She was clearly just being nosey.

[ThymeLord]

Unless she has concerns about the ex's parenting then she might have reason to want to see where the kid would be living but nothing in the op says that this is the case.

[TaterTots]

Why would she 'need to see it'? It's not like it's a shitty bedsit and he wants to take a small child to live there. This is a teenager we're talking about.

Except needs to understand the word O-V-A-H.

[somekindofmother]

omg.... definitely more front than Brighton beach!!! how shameless of her, I'm embarrassed for her!

the MIL, SIL and DH all should have said something! like 'omg no you can't go round there, do you know how desperate you'll look?!'

[WorraLiberty]

Why is everyone too stunned to say anything to anyone these days

She's got a massive cheek OP and I would have told her so.

Earth, why would she want to see where her teenage son would be staying when his other parent lives there?

[ImperialBlether]

I would have stopped her at the door and said, "What are you doing here?" I wouldn't have someone like that in my house.

[ExitPursuedBySpartacus]

It's Blackpool not Brighton.

[bakeoffcake]

I would have welcomed her with open arms and been so over friendly she wouldn't want to come back

The op has said the ex has been difficult in the past regarding contact visits so I wouldn't want to give her any new ammunition, by showing her the door.

[RepentAtLeisure]

Is it possible that she just happened to be with them at the time?

[bluebeck]

I like your style bakeoff

"This is the master bedroom, where we will be doing it, every which way."

"DH really wanted the big bath so we could share it, we love doing that..."

[WatchingFromTheWings]

Part of me thinks I'd have not let her in. Part of me thinks let her in and show off like hell!

[OnionKnight]

Why was she let in?

[breezybeach]

I agree with lottie here
( speaks from bitter experience ). Some , not all, men need to be a little more "nicely " assertive with exes who overstep the mark ! This is the sort of thing my DP ex pulls on me. Drives me bonkers with his " keep the peace " policy . She accused me to the school of " grooming " his DC and told them not to kiss or hug me as it was " wrong " as I am not their family !

I think my exh is a twat but I wouldn't ever dare set foot in his home unless necessary and invited ( where my Ds visits ) out of respect to his Df

[Whatacheek]

I think it's easy to say she should have shown her the door etc but when you're in the middle of the situation it isn't that simple. There were invited guests there also. Dsis wouldnt have wanted to make BIL DM feel uncomfortable. She is after all going to have to see them again at some point. I doubt very much that they will be invited over again though.

They had all apparently gone out for lunch together beforehand so witch face ex apparently thought she'd tag along too. Even though it's plainly obvious she spits venom where my DSis is concerned.

BIL doesn't do confrontation or thinks ex motive are innocent hence why he said nothing.

She did not want to see the house because of her DS. He's 15, maybe 16 and never been any cause for her to be worried on that score.

From the way she's acted and stuff she's said in the past it is obvious she is very bitter that he has moved on and is with my DSis.

I couldn't remember if it was Blackpool or Brighton

[honeyroar]

I hope your Dsis's DH told his mother and sisters off for bringing her (after wards!). And yes she was really cheeky coming. I'd have said "what on earth are you doing here? You don't speak to me normally!" Then gushed about how pleased you and DH are with the house, doesn't she think it's gorgeous.bla bla, as you showed them round.

[bluebeck]

Your sister doesn't have a XW problem, or a MIL problem or a SIL problem.

She has a DH problem.

[MakeMyWineADouble]

I think your sister has bigger problems than the ex. For MIL SIL and partner to all think this was ok and let it happen . To me the in laws are sending a message and her DH needed to tell them it wasn't on! That's just my 2 pence though

[Chippednailvarnishing]

Blue has it.

BIL needs to grow a pair.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

Why on earth did they let her in? I made it clear from day one that DH's ex would not be setting foot in my house. Thankfully she didn't try and visit but she would have had the door shut in her face if she tried.