Family falling out

(12 Posts)
Kungfupandaworksout16 Sun 28-Aug-16 17:08:12

Making a very long story short.
DHs uncle had just recently got into a relationship that's cause shockwaves through the family and it has caused certain family members to cut or lower their contact with him or just simply ignore him. His crime? He's 46 year old adult dating a 31 year old adult.
The family have made some pretty harsh comments such as cradle snatcher , groomer , sugar daddy and some others that are absolutley vile. Now the uncle is pretty upset at everybody's reaction especially as his sister has always had age gap relationships her current one she is in,she is 49 and her partner 23 and she got no negative reaction actually quite positive comments like cougar.
Other family members are now questioning if the Uncle will be attending our DCs christening and the gathering afterwards. One family member made the xomment
"are you sure you want to invite uncle there will be children at the christening can he be trusted hahahaha" they expect us too shun him for this age gap relationship!!
Now husband likes to avoid conflict and arguments and sort of shrugs off the comments and nervous laughs. Now would IBU next time telling them too stfu and possibly causing a family rift

TaterTots Sun 28-Aug-16 17:20:59

31 is an adult! It's not like he's taking advantage of some innocent young girl. Punch them all in the face Tell them you'll invite who you damn well like.

McPie Sun 28-Aug-16 17:28:09

I know exactly who I would and wouldn't be inviting to the christening! If the gf was 16 then yeah I too would raise an eyebrow at that myself but a 31 year old is an adult and there is no need for vile comments about his safety around children!

Kungfupandaworksout16 Sun 28-Aug-16 17:39:01

This is my point his partner is a consenting grown up! And they are so smitten with each other it's adorable. I don't quite understand their problem, I did ask MIL and she couldn't give a reason that was legit she just simply said its icky and weird and when I pointed out her sister is in a bigger age gap relationship she replied it's more acceptable for a lady too care younger men it's creepy for a men to do it. hmm
I've tried the comments like oh leave him alone , he's not harming anyone , they're both consenting adults - when they try bitching about him it just fell on deaf ears. But now they're upping the ante with the comments like the being around children and name calling that refers too abuse towards children and it's angering me. DH wants me to keep shut and keep the peace but it is sooo God damn hard angryangry

Kungfupandaworksout16 Sun 28-Aug-16 17:41:59

Too date younger men not care blush

PGPsabitch Sun 28-Aug-16 17:59:10

I would smile in confusion and ask if his sister shouldn't attend since she's dating someone far younger.

Yanbu. Good on you for calling them on hypocrisy and stupidity. Shame your dh is a wuss though.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 28-Aug-16 18:03:25

Is this uncle well off?

Do you think his family were hoping he'd die childless and alone, leaving his vast fortune to them?

And now he's seeing a woman of child bearing age, they can feel all that lovely money slipping through their fingertips...

Arfarfanarf Sun 28-Aug-16 18:07:40

How ridiculous of them.
A 31 yr old woman is not a child.
How offensive to make paedophile jokes.
Carry on telling them how stupid they sound.

DoomGloomAndKaboom Sun 28-Aug-16 18:15:57

Is the uncle's new partner a man or a woman?

alfagirl73 Sun 28-Aug-16 18:24:52

So two consenting adults are dating and that's a crime because....?? Oh wait... it's not! Plus, she is in her 30's - it's not like she's much younger and has no life experience - and even if she was, if she's a grown woman then what business is it of anyone's?! What a lot of fuss over nothing. If they're happy together then other people should be happy for them and leave them alone!

As for the christening; well, with this sort of thing I'm quite blunt I'm afraid - my mindset is that if I do someone the courtesy of inviting them to join in my special occasion, then I expect them to to do me the courtesy of respecting the other guests I have invited. If they can't do that, and they consider that making uncalled-for silly, childish and downright nasty comments about someone is more important, then I'd rather they didn't bother coming. I don't mind if two people don't particularly get on... they don't even have to talk to each other - but I expect them to act in a civil, respectful manner and not ruin the day.

Your uncle sounds like he's very happy and he absolutely does NOT deserve to have such vile comments made about him. I'd tell the other family members to grow up and show some respect or don't bother coming to the christening. But that's just me. I appreciate it can be complicated in families... and it's not always that simple. I just get bored very quickly with family politics and people acting like that. I'd rather have 5 people acting nicely and having a lovely time at a special occasion than 50 people who act stupid and ruin it.

A11TheSmallTh1ngs Sun 28-Aug-16 18:28:13

Lol, are they on the relationships board? There's a thread there about how 24 and 34 is "perverted and disgusting".

Kungfupandaworksout16 Sun 28-Aug-16 21:58:19

The uncles partner is a lady.
He's not wealthy but he's not poor he's comfortable. I think maybe because they haven't got his undivided attention they are feeling put out. They have no real basis too dislike her and it seems using her age is just clutching at straws that's why I mentioned the aunties age gap relationship. His family can be a bit catty and judgemental at times but it's start too get me down now the comments. They call him a pedophile like its nothing, and it's a joke to them. DH has told them to pack it all in but not in a firm enough way in my opinion. I don't really want people at the christening hearing an innocent man being called filthy names like that. I just want too shake her and shout at her and tell her to shut up but I can't see DH being ok with that grin
A11 oh I'll have to go and have a look!

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