To think this is not a fair way for kids parties?

(166 Posts)
MidniteScribbler Sun 28-Aug-16 11:51:00

So I was forced went to a kids 5th birthday yesterday. I've managed to avoid kids parties for the last five years, but it looks like my run of freedom is now over. So this party had about eight 4-7 year olds attending. Mum had organised lots of party games - moving statues, pass the parcel, quizzes (which kids movie are these characters from, etc), musical chairs - she went all out. Every single game was won by the birthday girl. All of them. Mum made sure the music stopped when her DD was right next to the last chair, made sure she had the last parcel in pass the parcel, kept calling her daughter for the silly quizzes, and no matter how much her DD moved, she won the various rounds of musical statues.

Now, I know it's just a kids party, but I could see some of the kids getting a bit frustrated when they kept getting sent out of the games or not picked for the quizzes, and many of the mums were starting to give each other rather pointed looks. I would have thought that you would generally try and make sure that everyone had a chance to win something? Or is this a whole new mummy thing that I've never experienced before?

nancy75 Sun 28-Aug-16 11:53:15

It's not normal, normal at that age is to make sure every child wins at least one of the games

Whynotnowbaby Sun 28-Aug-16 11:54:23

I totally agree, if anything I end up going the other way in my attempt to be fair and try to ensure everyone gets to win something. What's the point in taking part from the child's pov if it's obvious who's going to win before you even start?

Kathsmum Sun 28-Aug-16 11:54:34

Not usual no. Usually we make sure the others win (not same twice) or a sweet wrapped in each layer of paper so everyone wins. Especially NOT the birthday child as they have all been given gifts anyway. Poor kid, parents not making it easy to have any friends on Monday sad
Kids know the 'rules' too!

Floggingmolly Sun 28-Aug-16 11:54:34

No, of course it isn't normal. How bloody silly (of the mum).

dranaksjd Sun 28-Aug-16 11:54:49

That's absolutely appalling. Make sure the Mum knows this as well or else her daughter is going to become a laughing stock at school.
Although she probably is already!

Katedotness1963 Sun 28-Aug-16 11:55:10

When our boys were younger and having parties they never won any of the games. It never occurred to me that they should, the day was about them, they had all their friends around and got presents, they should win everything too? No, this is not something I have ever seen.

Arfarfanarf Sun 28-Aug-16 11:55:29

No it's not normal at all. The mother was really selfish. Birthday girl myst win everything.

MoreCoffeeNow Sun 28-Aug-16 11:56:14

Not normal at all, I'd decline next time you're asked.

blueskyinmarch Sun 28-Aug-16 11:57:33

Goodness that is so not normal. When mine were small and had such parties i tried to make sure they didn’t win so that the guests would win. After all the birthday child already had lots of gifts and attention anyway.

Elllicam Sun 28-Aug-16 11:58:34

Oh god no, not normal. Usually the birthday child doesn't win at all!

Soubriquet Sun 28-Aug-16 12:00:06

No not normal at all

Birthday child wins one of the layers with sweets like everyone else but then a different child wins the present in the end

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sun 28-Aug-16 12:01:00

Sounds like a lot of effort.

She must be a whizz on the pause button.

Who could be fucked with that, really?? What a palaver.

NoCapes Sun 28-Aug-16 12:01:12

Agree with PP's, my children never won at their own parties, they had a pile of presents already, they didn't need the £1 water gun aswell
Never been to a party like this, the other children won't want to come to that poor little girls parties in future

Lweji Sun 28-Aug-16 12:01:28

If it had been one game, I'd have been happy for the birthday child to win.

If lots of games, then different children should have won different games, or there should be small rewards for being out.

I don't like competitive games for birthday parties. Having losers means someone will not be very happy.

There are things that children like doing that don't involve competition necessarily.

LunaLoveg00d Sun 28-Aug-16 12:03:32

Not normal - I made sure my child didn't win ANY of the games at their parties.

How cringe. No, the birthday child doesn't normally win things at their own party.

JacquesHammer Sun 28-Aug-16 12:06:07

I don't think its healthy for birthday child to win all games. Its also not healthy to rig them so they don't.

Its far better just to play the game and whoever wins, wins!

The only "rigging" comes from trying to ensure the same child doesn't win everything whether birthday child or guest

BertrandRussell Sun 28-Aug-16 12:09:52

My ds is 15 and if I mention a particular name to him he will still seethe at the memory of a child who won all the games at his own birthday party when they were 5!

I just did to make sure- and he did!

Nocabbageinmyeye Sun 28-Aug-16 12:14:44

Nope not normal. We always plan so there is a prize/game for everyone to win, birthday child included (obviously not whole class parties so you'd be at it forever), there is a bit of fixing involved but only to make sure it's equal and the kids would never notice.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Sun 28-Aug-16 12:19:53

Cringey... My aunty used to do this every birthday party for her son (even on his sisters birthday) as he threw a proper tantrum if he lost. Worst thing was he was the eldest so he'd be gloating to a bunch of 6 year olds about winning when he was 10 - so old enough to know better. It got to the point where no one would participate in the games because there was no point.

20 years later it still grates on me. Hopefully the mum sorts herself out for next year or in 20 years they'll be bitter adults still griping about how they were robbed of that colouring book and pencils angrygrin

Birdandsparrow Sun 28-Aug-16 12:20:02

I remember crying in the bathroom at my fourth birthday cos my mum wouldn't let me win anything/everything. She explained that I had the fun of all the presents and being the birthday girl and the others were my guests and it was only far they win things too.

woowoowoo Sun 28-Aug-16 12:20:37

I have witnessed this just once after attending loads of parties when my DC were little.

The child was incredibly entitled and was always in trouble at school for misbehaving. In the end, she left our school and went to private as the mother felt that the school was not supporting their child enough.

I dread to think what this child will end up like. A complete brat!

Berthatydfil Sun 28-Aug-16 12:22:50

Oh dear she's ensured her child's name will be remembered by everyone for years to come.
And not for nice reasons.

Of course the child could be perfectly nice polite and well behaved but to me it smacks of a spoilt princessy brat and I'm afraid it would colour my judgement of the child and her mum in any future relationship with her.
In my opinion mum has done her no favours at all.

FrancisCrawford Sun 28-Aug-16 12:23:27

It's the reverse here too - going to a lot of trouble to make sure the birthday child doesn't win.

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