To think DP didn't fool anyone

(53 Posts)
EarlGrayAndCake Sat 27-Aug-16 15:33:18

We were sitting in a very genteel cafe when DP looked uncomfortable and leaned to the left. A massive trump came ripping out.

DP looks horrified, whispers 'oh, shit!' and then announces to the cafe at large 'Oh! Erm,mosques,h chairs!'

AIBU to think he fooled no one? grin

Salmotrutta Sat 27-Aug-16 15:34:17

Classy

Oysterbabe Sat 27-Aug-16 15:36:43

Erm,mosques,h chairs!

What?

Loyly Sat 27-Aug-16 15:36:50

confused

ImperialBlether Sat 27-Aug-16 15:37:25

Did you find that funny?

tryingtobestronger Sat 27-Aug-16 15:37:26

Mosques? Confused

Just5minswithDacre Sat 27-Aug-16 15:37:42

biscuit

AssamAssa Sat 27-Aug-16 15:37:51

Huh?

EarlGrayAndCake Sat 27-Aug-16 15:39:01

I totally don't know what happened there blush confused

Some weird autocorrect - meant to be 'oh, shit!'

Sorry. How weird confused

TheNaze73 Sat 27-Aug-16 15:39:21

And they wonder why live entertainment venues are closing

biscuit

tofutti Sat 27-Aug-16 15:39:55

Musical chairs, maybe?

Bitofacow Sat 27-Aug-16 15:40:14

Seems you are both making embarrassing mistakes today!

I would hide.

Queenbean Sat 27-Aug-16 15:41:01

Urgh, disgusting

Bitofacow Sat 27-Aug-16 15:41:13

Just told my DP he is still laughing.

EarlGrayAndCake Sat 27-Aug-16 15:41:15

I think I need to!

It was meant to say DP announced to the room at large that the chairs were squeaky. Apologies!

AssamAssa Sat 27-Aug-16 15:43:27

grin well that's the weirdest autocorrect ever!

scarednoob Sat 27-Aug-16 15:43:49

My ex, who was a total pisshead, came to a fancy department store with me to look at chairs. Sat on a £650 suede chair and let rip with a massive fart. Didn't even look shamefaced. The sales assistant was horrified.

When she left us, he said sheepishly, "did you hear that?" I told him the pigeons on the roof had fucking heard it, and he shook his head earnestly.

"It's not what you think," he promised - and pulled a pair of nail scissors out of his rear pocket. When he'd sat down, they had punctured the chair, but being a cheapskate fuckwit, he'd rather the sales assistant thought he'd farted than charged him for the chair...

FrancisCrawford Sat 27-Aug-16 15:44:28

And then he apologised profusely to everyone.

Didn't he?

Please say he apologised?

i hope his "oh shit" was not meant literally. Crapping his pants after a loud fart would be mortifying. And even more noxious than just a fart.

pussinasda Sat 27-Aug-16 15:44:45

im the first to laugh at farts but in a cafe thats gross was anyone near by eating

Bitofacow Sat 27-Aug-16 15:46:14

Yep, my DP still sniggering.

roob314 Sat 27-Aug-16 15:47:41

scarednoob
I'm laughing my HEAD off at that!!!

scarednoob Sat 27-Aug-16 15:48:12

It was awfully embarrassing! Thought it might cheer the OP up!!

roob314 Sat 27-Aug-16 15:49:07

I'd endure a lot of shame to leave £650 in my account as well.

EarlGrayAndCake Sat 27-Aug-16 15:49:54

It did, scared! grin

It was an accident, puss, it was the look of horror on his face that so amused me.

Arfarfanarf Sat 27-Aug-16 16:04:20

The opposite has happened to me. Sat down. Chair made a sound that was exactly like a fart. I was mortified. Did the oh my the chair thing but nobody believed me. I tried to make the chair do it again to show them hmm hmm but it just wouldnt.

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