To be sad my DD has to wear glasses?

(150 Posts)
SheStoodInTheStorm Fri 26-Aug-16 17:04:57

I know I probably am, and her vision is more important that her appearance but I am sad.

She has big beautiful eyes that I think will just look silly behind lenses.

I worry about her wearing them at nursery and being different to most other children.

I am fretting about getting her to keep them on.

Neither me or DH wear glasses so I am wondering if I have done something wrong to cause her needing them! I didn't go about her vision, I went as she sometimes turns her eye in for a few seconds.

I know I probably am BU and perhaps am posting here expecting most of you to tell me to get a grip.

Anyone else felt this way?

ShatnersBassoon Fri 26-Aug-16 17:08:07

YABU. It's far sadder for her to not be able to see everything clearly. Lots of children wear glasses, so she won't be remarkably different.

Have you ever looked at a child wearing glasses and thought they looked 'silly'?

MewlingQuim Fri 26-Aug-16 17:08:44

My DD doesn't need glasses. She is very sad about it as DH and I both wear glasses and so does her best friend. She keeps asking for some for Christmas confused

<passes grip>

smile

Applesandpears86 Fri 26-Aug-16 17:09:03

I think YANBU to be upset at the shock or the change in routine, or to worry about the practical issues.

I think YABVVU to ever project any of your feelings towards your daughter.

I wore glasses from age 4 and my Mum had the same attitude as you; she didn't try and hide her upset and I always felt like I was damaged goods because of the glasses. It contributed to low self esteem that probably lasted until I was only enough to switch to contacts.

VladmirsPoutine Fri 26-Aug-16 17:10:06

Yabu, wearing glasses will not make her exceptionally different to her peers.

Groovee Fri 26-Aug-16 17:10:45

YABU. Ds has had glasses since he was 10 months old. They are part of who he is. Dd started wearing at 7 and they are part of her too.

It can be upsetting but you will all get used to them and glasses are more accepted on children these days.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Fri 26-Aug-16 17:11:51

I had a few moments of sadness when I realised ds1 needed glasses. He was 3 so like your dd, at nursery and the only child there with glasses.

I needn't have worried, glasses are fabulous these days and ds1 had no problems adjusting to wearing them. He got asked about them at nursery a few times but that was it. He's nearly 14 now and over the years more and more of his friends and classmates have got glasses.

Ds1 had surgery as well because one of his problems is an astigmatism. That helped a bit but he will likely always need glasses.

It will take a bit of time to adjust for all of you. I think feeling a bit sad is normal, especially when they are littlethanks

AlwaysDancing1234 Fri 26-Aug-16 17:13:26

You can get some really cool glasses for kids and funky headband type hints to get them to stay on. Quite a few children in DS school class wear glasses and no one even notices them to be honest as it's such a common thing. They even have a bit of "my Ones are nicer than yours"!
Try and turn it in to a positive thing for your DD.

Grannypants1 Fri 26-Aug-16 17:14:27

Yabu if you project those fear onto her. They are glasses, she will be beautiful with them. Care less about her appearance and more about her sight. My brother wanted glasses when he was younger to be like his friends. Glasses are normal. Let her be a part of the process in choosing her frames. Make it fun for her.

Gizlotsmum Fri 26-Aug-16 17:14:29

It won't be anything you have done. There are some beautiful glasses for kids and you soon get used to them in them..

TrinityForce Fri 26-Aug-16 17:14:56

How can any feelings be unreasonable?

You'd be unreasonable to prevent her wearing glasses to correct her vision, you can't be unreasonable for being sad about it, IMO.

helensburgh Fri 26-Aug-16 17:14:59

I think your feelings are normal.

JemimaMuddledUp Fri 26-Aug-16 17:14:59

Mewling she isn't the only one. At our last appointment the optician said that children faking eyesight problems in an attempt to have glasses is a growing problem.

DS1 and DS2 both wear glasses - DS1 just in the classroom and for watching TV, DS2 all the time. It isn't a big deal.

BikeRunSki Fri 26-Aug-16 17:15:39

It took me 6 years to convince adults that my eyesight was fuzzy. Everyone just thought I was thick because I was 7 weeks early and had been deaf unless I was 3. A world of clarity was revealed when I was 12! Your DD will always have that now, and will probably be able to read before she is 8 for this reason.

andintothefire Fri 26-Aug-16 17:16:05

I was quite excited when I got my first pair of glasses at age 9! It never bothered me, although I can see that it would be harder for a much younger child to remember to wear them at first. She will soon get used to them. She might choose to wear contact lenses later on (which I did from the age of around 13).

YABU to say that her beautiful eyes will just look silly behind lenses. She (and you) should really not be worrying about her appearance at that age. There's nothing inherently "unattractive" about glasses anyway.

FeckinCrutches Fri 26-Aug-16 17:17:14

Yes YABU. I worked in an opticians for years and saw many disappointed parents. It's so sad for the children and used to make me so angry and upset.

SheStoodInTheStorm Fri 26-Aug-16 17:17:45

I would never ever project my feelings on to her!! I have been talking to her a lot about her cousin who wears glasses and one of her friends and how fab they will be. Blimey.

We will make the whole things exciting and get her to help choose her glasses (assuming there is a choice).

"Silly" was a stupid choice of word. I do not think that children wearing glasses look silly at all but the magnifying effect of the lens is definitely noticeable on toddlers, and DD already has big eyes so they will look like saucers. Her eyes wearing glasses. Not everyone who wears glasses at all.

I think it's just a big thing to me and will be a change.

SirVixofVixHall Fri 26-Aug-16 17:18:11

My dd was given glasses aged about six. I had a shock, I have excellent vision, and it had never occurred to me that either child might need specs. Until we were in the Docs and she couldn't read the chart properly....Anyway was was borderline, they gave her glasses, but told her to see how she felt with them. She was so proud of them! Luckily she chose delicate frames that didn't swamp her face, they are purple, but not garish, and they actually really suit her. She wore them for a while in school (her best friend also wears glasses which helped), but didn't really notice any difference so now she only rarely wears them. I'm taking her for another eye test shortly to see how things are. Like you I felt really sad at the thought of glasses over her beautiful eyes, but the reality was quite different. She had an earnest look with the specs on that looked very cute, and sitting with her BF (who is a boy) side by side, their sweet little faces with specs on, they looked gorgeous. Choose some lovely frames with your dd, there is so much choice now. I was so bothered that I would have thrown any amount of cash to get nice looking frames, but in the end she chose a pair that were either free or very inexpensive, I can't remember which . It will be fine.

pollyblack Fri 26-Aug-16 17:19:15

Yabu, a mum at school started crying when she told me her daughter was needing to get glasses and i was like WTF??? What on earth is wrong with glasses?

Both my sons have them, they look cool and HELP THEIR VISION! In one case the optician thinks they will fix their vision completely.

Please don't project your negative feelings about glasses on to your daughter.

Bantanddec Fri 26-Aug-16 17:19:49

Her sight should be your priority not her appearance!! I'm shocked!!

SirVixofVixHall Fri 26-Aug-16 17:20:17

It was much less of a big thing in the end, than it felt when we first got the results. Also my dd has big eyes, but her glasses aren't magnifying, it depends on what is wrong, how the lenses will look.

MrsJayy Fri 26-Aug-16 17:20:38

I think your reaction is a bit extreme your Dds eyes are still beautiful you did nothing wrong vision problems are not always genetic it just is. Her glasses will not make her different and the children might notice for a minute then move on. I think you get those gummy glasses for younger kids so she might find them comfier and keep them on the more she wears them she will get used to them.

FeckinCrutches Fri 26-Aug-16 17:22:00

Well the lenses might not magnify her eyes, it depends on her prescription and if it's + or -. It's not like she's going to be wearing Jam jars. If you want to write down her prescription here I can tell you what the might be like.

Purplepicnic Fri 26-Aug-16 17:23:49

I suspect you feel like this because you and your husband don't wear glasses yourselves. If you did, you'd know they are no big deal, a godsend because they enable you to see and your life is not adversely affected by wearing them.

happypoobum Fri 26-Aug-16 17:24:51

YABU. I am pretty saddened by your post to be honest.

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