My baby isn't sleeping

[izzystuart]

Hi guys. I'm new to mums net and need help. My DD is 6 months and just started nursery while I went back to work full time. She loves nursery but from day one her sleep pattern changed from sleeping through the night to waking me up 2,3,4,5 and sometimes 6 times a night. On top of this she (we) got a horrible cold and she got a nasty ear infection. This seems to have gone now but the sleeping is still disastrous. I’m suffering from total fatigue because my DH can’t help due to work and I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours (and that’s a good run) in almost 3 weeks. I run my own company so working less is not an option in the short term.
She doesn’t appear to be teething but she is getting over a cold and infection. We do have a good bedtime routine and she falls asleep well. I don’t pick her up constantly (she had colic when she was little) and I’m pretty good at letting her cry herself out having had a hard introduction to crying. But after being ill, starting on solids (and pooping lots) I do check she is safe and dry each time I hear her cry before walking away. I’m feeling totally desperate without sleep and there are so many things to consider on the internet that I don't know where to start. I just need some sound advice from somebody who knows what I'm going through. I don’t mind getting up in the night but this is excessive and unbearable. Help.

[MatildaTheCat]

Have a chat with your HV and ask for advice? Sometimes babies are ill and fall into a habit of waking very frequently after they are better. It's dire but it does pass. Get as much rest as possible and go into emergency mode: do nothing that isn't absolutely necessary until things improve and get as much help as you can be it paid for or otherwise.

Hang on in there.

[izzystuart]

Thanks, I'll ring the health visitor.

[NapQueen]

Is your dh not there at night due to his job is that why he can't help at night?

Otherwise he very much ought to help at night. You both work full time

[MLGs]

Yes, if he is there it should be equal. Unless he os a surgeon, works with heavy machinery or similar.

[NapQueen]

In which case the two nights he doesn't have work the next day should be wholly his responsibility

[welshweasel]

Should be equal anyway!! I'm a surgeon and I don't make my husband do all the night wakings. DS went through a stage like this at 6 months but he started nursery at 4 months so might be unrelated. Teething and a nasty cold definitely played a part. The good news is that things now, a month on, seem to be settling down again. It's seems a common time for a sleep regression amongst my NCT friends' babies. It's shit whilst it lasts but be hopeful things will improve. We took it in turns to go to sleep straight after dinner for a few weeks, with the other one staying up till midnight or so, similar to how we managed the newborn stage. One lie in each at the weekend. You just have to survive it.

[ZZZZ1111]

Sounds tough to be working full time whilst dealing with this. My six month old has always been a poor sleeper and I know how difficult sleep deprivation is, let alone having to go to work the next day. Ways I'm coping are just sleeping when I can (eg nap times, sometimes I go to bed when he does, having a lie in at the weekend and the odd nap) and also some bed sharing which is really saving our bacon as the wakenings are less disturbing and he sleeps better in with me too. I know that's not for everyone though. Hope things get better for you, but just be assured that it is really common for babies to sleep poorly at this age - you're not alone!

[izzystuart]

Hi Guys, thank you so much for the posts. It turned out her ear infection wasn't shifting so the doctor upped her antibiotics. I had a tough long weekend but things seem a little better. I think it may also be a combination of her age and other tings so thanks for your support Welshweazel. I'll be back online for more advice if things continue.

DH does try to help but we can't split the baby care 50/50. It's more like 80/20 in our house but then I'm not trying to change the world. I'm just trying to get some sleep. And tonight I'm going to the garage office (detached) where I really can't hear her and he is taking over for a night. Yey!

[frenchknitting]

Glad things are better. When I started back at work DS started doing this. I was breastfeeding, and I think he was "reverse cycling" - basically trying to turn night into day, to get all his feeds and cuddles in, knowing i wasn't there during the day.

We co-slept for a while, and then only really resolved it at 14 months when DH took over nights for a few weeks in order to night wean.

[izzystuart]

Hi guys, so this is an update. Things really improved when she started to feel better but she is still waking and crying a couple of times a night. At random times, sometimes she likes milk, sometimes not. I don't feel that she is waking for something in particular I just feel we are out of a good routine and I might be making it worse because I wake the moment she cries (even though she is in another room with no monitor turned on).

What can I do to improve things? I'm happy to get up in the night once to feed, change her etc. but this still feels a bit out of control.

What can I do?

[loismustdieatyahoodotcom]

Have you tried gently trying to shush and pat back to sleep. My dc was the same and I think it's because his sleep cycle was short and he was unable to self settle. I didn't let him cry but did a shush/pat/gentle retreat approach if he had been fed and changed within the last hour or so.