PFB... Come on.

(64 Posts)
PirateFairy45 Thu 25-Aug-16 15:37:00

What's wrong with PFB?

My DD is my PFB and I don't care if you judge me on it, why are people so stuck up about it?

I've seen so many times "oh it must be PFB, that explains a lot" in a condescending way.

But what's wrong with your child being PFB?

Not trying to antagonise, Just wanna know

coconutpie Thu 25-Aug-16 15:41:02

People who say PFB piss me off. No it's not PFB.

coconutpie Thu 25-Aug-16 15:43:35

Sorry posted too soon by accident, no it's not PFB - it's just how you feel as a parent. I hate that condescending crap, you are perfectly entitled to be as "PFB" as you want to be. Just because somebody thinks it's ok to let a baby be passed around to a load of people at a week old, doesn't mean it's PFB to be totally appalled by that idea.

FeckinCrutches Thu 25-Aug-16 15:44:24

Because some people do ridiculous over the top things like buying devices to warm up baby wipes etc. People often look back and laugh at silly things they did that they wouldn't dream of doing with subsequent children.

Eatthecake Thu 25-Aug-16 15:46:31

I don't get the pfb thing either, it's called being a parent surely confused

I don't like my 4th baby being passed around to strangers anymore than I liked it happening to my first born.

NavyandWhite Thu 25-Aug-16 15:46:41

Because some mothers are neurotic with their PFB?

tryingtobestronger Thu 25-Aug-16 15:47:42

What does pfb stand for

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Thu 25-Aug-16 15:47:58

Couldn't agree more. It's like there's something wrong with adoring and looking after your own child.

Honestly, if you're not a bit PFB, you're probably biologically broken.

FeckinCrutches Thu 25-Aug-16 15:48:15

www.mumsnet.com/babies/features/confessions-parents-of-precious-first-born

Perfect examples.

Eatthecake Thu 25-Aug-16 15:48:47

Unless the new first time Mum is doing harm to you why not just leave her too it? Even if she wants to warm baby wipes it doesn't effect your life does it

We've all been over anxious, too careful with our babies. Is that pfb or is that just learning what it's all about

Dontyoulovecalpol Thu 25-Aug-16 15:50:57

Mothers of precious first borns??! shock

My husband is extremely over protective of his FB (oddly enough they are twins so not really) me, less
So. In fact he just had to stop them climbing onto the roof of a cretain rooftop bar because I was having a beer and MN'ing wine

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 25-Aug-16 15:51:33

I always it's an amusing nod to how everybody was with a first child, that they later get they can't be with subsequents.

I was totally obsessed to the point of developing anxiety about my DD's sleep. I imagine with a second I will just chuck her anywhere and if she doesn't sleep, she doesn't sleep.
I won't talk about putting the dummy in my own mouth before my PFB's, in case it was "too dry" for her hahaha

Pinkheart5915 Thu 25-Aug-16 15:51:35

I don't like the whole pfb thing either

People adore own child shock they might be an over cautious Mum but they are learning.

Sparklesilverglitter Thu 25-Aug-16 15:55:06

I've not long had my first baby and yes maybe I worry about things I shouldn't, maybe I've brought things that some would say oh you don't need that but I've never been a mum before I'm learning.
Yes I adore my own child so if that makes me pfb so be it

NotMe321 Thu 25-Aug-16 16:01:41

I recognise with all the benefits of hindsight that PFB is definitely a Thing. I was certainly much more precious and uptight about DC1 than I ever was about his siblings. It has nothing to do with loving your child - I certainly love DCs 2 and 3 just as much - it's about the way you deal with him/her.

dangermouseisace Thu 25-Aug-16 16:02:19

what feckin crutches says

I think it's a light hearted thing rather than condescending

Thurlow Thu 25-Aug-16 16:02:20

There's nothing wrong with it at all, of course your first born is precious.

However it is often used for things that people tend to do a lot more for their first born than their second. Like keeping meticulous notes of how much milk they've drunk that day, or anti-baccing the slide before they go down it.

BestZebbie Thu 25-Aug-16 16:03:14

I always assumed that it comes from guilt that a first child is treated much better than the subsequent ones (number of baby photos, baby groups etc) because of sheer logistics. The best way to deal with the guilt is to say "well I didn't want to do that anyway, how silly to do that"..

LucilleBluth Thu 25-Aug-16 16:06:01

It's just a joke. I'm waaaaaaay more chilled with DC3 than I was with no1.

DamaskRose Thu 25-Aug-16 16:11:47

Only the bitter and twisted can't cope with how a mother / parents are over their firstborn, when they're being authentic. I think, though, the brand of pfb that can get to people is the 'look at me being adoring and caring for my baby', or acting as if no one else has ever done this amazing thing.

HuskyLover1 Thu 25-Aug-16 16:13:41

But some people become such a bore when they have a baby. I tried to retain some of myself, talk about things other than the children, have weekends away with my then H. My best friend changed beyond recognition when she had her DD. Totally obsessed. Every single conversation had to include her daughter. She literally can't talk about ANYTHING else, and it's still the same to this day, even though the DD is now 17. ALL of her facebook photo's have to include DD. Every post is about DD. I am pretty sure that if I said I was flying to the Moon, that she would say that her DD was doing that too. BORE OFF! I don't see her any more. It's just too much. Goodness knows what she will do when DD goes off to Uni soon. I'm guessing she will just become a shell of a person.

corythatwas Thu 25-Aug-16 16:15:43

To me, pfb is when a mother - or indeed father- gets so taken up that s/he expects everything- including the needs of other children- to give way before her/his child because s/he cannot imagine that anybody else on the planet can be equally important. Unless you live totally isolated, ott pfb-ness does have a tendency to impact on other people.

Nothing wrong with adoring your baby. Everything wrong with expecting other people to see that he is more important than other babies/elderly relatives/etc.

DixieWishbone Thu 25-Aug-16 16:19:08

I think it is unfair to throw precious firstborn at new parents. Nowadays, due to smaller families, it is not unusual for new parents to have had no previous childcare experience. Of course it is going to take them a while to learn what is and isn't OK for their newborn. If you see a friend panicking because they forgot to warm the baby wipes before a nappy change, it's OK to tell them 'It's OK, honestly it doesn't matter', but to sneer and go 'Ooooh PFB, can't you tell?' is just annoying and not constructive.

ChocChocPorridge Thu 25-Aug-16 16:23:50

God, I still hanker after a wipes warmer for me (not the kids).....

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Thu 25-Aug-16 16:25:24

I have a friend that designed a spreadsheet for her first born and made notes on sleep times/duration, feeding times, contents of nappy.

She now has two more children who survived their first weeks without data recording and we laugh about it now. grin

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