We have a cheeky gnome, Gordon (obviously!), who sadly is no more. I looked out the patio window the other day and his head had exploded! His body was in the same position on the soil, upright, but his head was smashed into several pieces over the patio, a good 2-3 foot away. My friend came over and between us we glued him back together and there was a point at the back of his neck where there were no pieces at all, just splinters of pottery. Now maybe I'm paranoid, but how could his head have completely detached from his body and exploded over the patio whilst his body stayed upright? If he'd been hit by a stone then surely his body would have fallen over too? Very confusing.
Anyway, we left poor Gordon on the patio table patched up the best we could. 2 days later his head has exploded again!!! His body was upright still but his head was about 2-3 feet away in pieces. It was a completely new break below where we had glued his head back onto his body. The only logical(?!) conclusion I can come to is that he's been shot. If one of the cats had done it then the body would have been knocked over and the head would have been next to the body. Melodramatic? Yes. But I have lived in a quiet area for 20 odd years with no problems. New neighbours at the back of us move in a couple of weeks ago and now Gordon is deceased.
My rabbit is regularly in his run on the back lawn and so is my disabled son. (Not in the run, obviously) So AIBU to have a chat with the local copper??
AIBU?
AIBU to call the police re suspected gnome shooting?
fairmac · 24/08/2016 18:24
Yes, any pellets? Ball bearings (posted iron benkers but deleted in case no one knew what I was on about 
)? Could be a catapult but if you suspect someone is running about willy nilly with a firearm I'd definitely log it - you might not be the only one.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Is it possible his head imploded in the heat? ha ha.
You've made an error in touching the crime scene. The police will need to draw around Gordon's body with white chalk and tape off the area. I possibly watch too much CSI.
It's very sweet that your friend helped you to glue him all back to together again. Do you have another gnome you could surrender as part of a trap. Set him up and keep surveillance?
Joking aside, it sounds like a kid with an air gun so it is a bit of a concern.
I hope Gordon is an ironic garden gnome...?
Maybe the new neighbours have missed the irony and think he lowers the tone
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