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AIBU?

to consider cancelling a holiday due to toddler's awful sleeping

63 replies

splendide · 24/08/2016 14:09

During a period of amazing good sleeping from my previously appalling sleeping DS (now nearly 2), I booked a week away to a self catering cottage.

Progress on sleep has completely reversed and we're back to spending hours sitting by his cot before he does to sleep.

I feel like cancelling the whole thing to be honest. It's just going to be a massive stress plus an extra 3 days of nap stress as at least in a normal week he spends 3 days in childcare.

I guess it's more of a WWYD - is there any point in going?

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loona13 · 24/08/2016 14:16

Go, let him run like crazy outdoors as long as possible, maybe your evenings will come back WineWineWine

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Duckstar · 24/08/2016 14:18

I agree with Ioona. Go. Let him run round till he's exhausted. Go with the flow. Take plenty of wine.

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livinginabox · 24/08/2016 14:19

DS was a terrible sleeper but I always found he magically improved when we were away.

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1AngelicFruitCake · 24/08/2016 14:20

I've got a 2 year old and we tend to be more relaxed on holiday with naps so she might sleep in the pram. We also stay out later so by bedtime she goes straight to sleep - how likely is that to happen for you? Seems a shame to cancel

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AntiHop · 24/08/2016 14:22

I know the feeling. My 24 month old is a terrible sleeper. I would go anyway. I change of scenery might do yoy good.

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Missgraeme · 24/08/2016 14:24

Maybe a break from the bad routine is just what's needed!

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MrsMook · 24/08/2016 14:28

Go for it. I thought you were going to say that it's a hotel where you'd be worried about disturbing others.

My 3 year old is having a phase of separation anxiety and fears of the dark. I was nervous about camping with him, but the change of scenery was good. The dark bit was fine as he knew we were close so he was less bothered than he is at home.

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MiddleClassProblem · 24/08/2016 14:32

Sometimes a change of scene and new things can really change things. I would go if I were you. At least he will be engaged with new things, place to explore etc during the day.

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Snowflakes1122 · 24/08/2016 14:35

In same boat. Well, actually on the holiday and has crossed our minds to go home early as ds (almost two) just will not sleep away from home. So shattered.

I have to say even though we are tired, we have had a lovely time so far.

Personally, I'd still go and keep him really active during the day so he has to sleep.

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Underparmummy · 24/08/2016 14:36

I worry more about holidays if we're in a good period - I worry it'll mess it up! If its bad anyway then f**k it, can't get too much worse.
Even though holidays with little ones aren't restful per se I think family holidays are so important for a break and a change.

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Scarydinosaurs · 24/08/2016 14:36

Go, it will probably improve his sleep!

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WittgensteinsBunny · 24/08/2016 14:37

Our 2 are dreadful and more so when disturbed from their usual routine. We've just been away with a small toddler growing 2 molars and 3 canines and a newly night time trained 3 yo who refused to sleep anywhere but on my head. They had a great time, we didn't bother with nap / bedtime routines beyond day 2 and just managed what we could. They slept, they had tantrums, they cried but they also had a great time and we had some fun too. Go! Lots of fresh air, wine and not worrying. I just think that low expectations of rest and relaxation are required Wink. A buggy for evenings and a light blanket is a good mo r too as you may even get to eat in peace and a restaurant.

And as a result of last week, my two are napping together again (this hasn't happened for a year) and going to bed pretty well too, now that we're home. I have cleaned the house and nearly finished the holiday washing and stocked the fridge in less than 48 hours. Unforeseen consequences and all :)

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splendide · 24/08/2016 14:42

OK that's pretty unanimous - I guess we should go. You're right, at least it can't get worse.

I think in a way the good period made things more depressing. We had a couple of months of actual kiss goodnight, put in cot and leave the room.

And yes at least it's a cottage in the middle of nowhere so lots of fresh air and nobody except some sheep to disturb!

This will all pass eventually won't it? :(

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NickNacks · 24/08/2016 14:44

It will get better but it's hard work as you know to change. What's the reason it went bad again?

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Mol1628 · 24/08/2016 14:47

Ive just done self catering with a teething waking at night crying toddler and a 5am waking phase 3yo. It was awful and we came home a day early because we were so tired and stressed out. It was really difficult managing them away from home.

The children loved the holiday but I wish we had stayed home and done day trips instead.

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Yorkieheaven · 24/08/2016 14:47

Go defiantly but what do you think caused the regression? And yes op it will most defiantly pass honestly.

Let him run round all day. Take plenty of wine. You never know it might reset his dials

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splendide · 24/08/2016 14:48

I think it's teething combined with a bit more understanding about being left perhaps. We didn't change anything about the routine it was just like a switch flipped and instead of happily singing to himself in his cot he just went immediately shrieking hysteria when I tried to leave the room.

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EnglishGirlApproximately · 24/08/2016 14:54

Go anyway, you never know what might happen. Ds is 4 and has always been an awful sleeper, wakes in the night and gets up for the day at 5 😱 On holiday he has about 13 hours straight, we even sometimes miss breakfast. My dream is to win the lottery and move into a hotel.

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frostyfingers · 24/08/2016 15:19

Only when you get unbroken sleep for a while do you realise how awful having bad nights really are. My DT's were fed every 3 hours for the first 6 months and it half killed me. I ended up sleeping on the floor in their room because I was too tired to go to my own bed..... Once they'd extended their nights to near 5 hours it was bliss, and then they did what your boy has done and went back to 3 and it was truly awful.

I'd go, go with the flow and hope he can get himself back to his routine when you get back home. Have fun!

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MiddleClassProblem · 24/08/2016 15:22

When he's a teen you'll probably be dragging him out of bed in the mornings

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oldlaundbooth · 24/08/2016 15:22

Run him ragged during the day. NO NAPS.

Explain to him that as you are in a "special cottage' you need to be very quiet and go to sleep as all the sheep are asleep too. Noise is simply not allowed as he'll disturb the animals. They are all asleep and he needs to be too.

Might just work.

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mummymeister · 24/08/2016 15:33

I am always a bit surprised at the number of families with kids that don't sleep well into their 2's and 3's yet they still have a nap. We stopped ours napping during the day much earlier than this and we also sleep trained. I could not have managed day to day life let alone holidays if we hadn't have gone down this route.

you have to go, you really do. you cant put everything on hold for this and I bet you need a change of scenery yourself.

I know I will get the usual "sleep training is cruel, we just couldn't do it to him/her" posts but honestly its a lot less cruel than a parent not getting a break and being exhausted all the time.

I hope you have a lovely holiday OP.

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splendide · 24/08/2016 15:36

He's not quite 2 yet so I think a bit little to drop the nap?

We didn't do CC or anything but I did work very very hard at gradual retreat - it took months. I guess I'll need to do it again but we're not back to square one (feeding to sleep on me!), we're only really a couple of steps back, so I'm back to sitting on a chair near the door while he goes to sleep in his cot.

Thanks for the sympathy and I will try telling him he'll disturb the sheep! It's worth a go!

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mummymeister · 24/08/2016 15:40

all of mine had stopped day time naps by 18 months. some kids just don't need all of that sleep.

CC would take you 3 or 4 nights to sort out the sleeping verses months sitting on a chair by the door. your choice obviously.

fingers crossed their are no cockerels waking him up if you are going down the sheep sleeping route Smile

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livinginabox · 24/08/2016 15:46

Sleep training doesn't always work that's the problem. We tried all sorts of methods , including paying millpond but to no avail.

DS napped until he was 3 and it didn't effect his night sleep. I will say dropping the nap has made no difference to his night wakings. At 4.5 he still wakes regularly in the night but might be worth trying if you can't get him down easily.

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