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AIBU?

To think he could have called me?

35 replies

Stefoscope · 24/08/2016 14:06

First world problem alert, but...DP owns a shop and I work for him. The rota is set up so one of us works one day whilst the other has the day off. DP has been talking about how this is his 'week off' all month (meaning in theory I should be working everyday). Admittedly, I've been daft enough to misread the rota twice, thinking I was meant to be at work today when I'm not, so 100% my fault on that count.

However, DP has let me get ready for work, get the train in, make the half hour walk there and not thought to call me to point out my mistake. He is a late riser and wasn't up when I left for the train, but he's clearly had time to make breakfast before leaving (dirty dishes in the sink) and he was awake as I was getting up and ready this morning. AIBU to think most people would have called to save their DP unnecessary travel in the searing heat?!

OP posts:

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 24/08/2016 14:08

Are you working now then? Has he gone in too?

Maybe he thinks you're covering for him as this was supposed to be his week off?

c3pu · 24/08/2016 14:08

Did he realise you were going to work, or just thought you'd gone out for shopping/socialising/whatever?

Yorkieheaven · 24/08/2016 14:10

Yes he's wierd. Abs why do you work for him? Surely the business has you as joint owners?

NoFuchsGiven · 24/08/2016 14:12

Surely the business has you as joint owners

Why on earth would it

BrightOranges · 24/08/2016 14:16

Maybe he didn't realise you were going to work but somewhere else instead. Either way, hopefully it will teach you to check the rota properly in future. It's your fault not his.

myownprivateidaho · 24/08/2016 14:25

Are you saying you think that he knew you had got up early and were getting ready for work pointlessly and was letting you get on with it so that you'd get there and realise? If so, obviously YANBU, that's a completely dickish thing to do and total LTB material. But you need to find out if that is what happened. He might not have realised you were going to work?

Scarydinosaurs · 24/08/2016 14:30

Did you not say- why didn't you tell me I was mistaken in thinking I was working today? Surely you even discussed it before the day itself anyway?

Stefoscope · 24/08/2016 14:33

He turned up 10 minutes after opening time and didn't seem surprised I was there, was sort of laughing about the mix up. I'm a creature of habit and wouldn't normally leave the house at that time of day. I left after he turned up, but it meant 3 hours of unnecessary travel. Even if he'd called me when he got up I could have potentially cut the hours walk to and from the shop and just got a train straight home. Or I could have just told him to stay home as I was already in. As it was I just felt like a bit of a idiot in front of my colleague, so just left.

Yorkieheaven, I was under the impression it was my business up until the start of this year, as he always said that it was. We're not married and to be fair it's all been financed by him, so I wouldn't feel entitled to any money from it other than my salary. But it was nice to feel like we were working together on a project. However, he employed someone on impulse, without asking my opinion, which was that she wouldn't 'gel' well with the rest of the team. I was right and it's now causing problems as noone likes to work with her and she's very absent-minded. DP seemed shocked that I would want 'input in the hiring and firing' and said 'at the end of the day it is MY business, so I can do what I like'.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 24/08/2016 14:37

I'd find another shop to work in and another DP. He doesn't treat you as an equal at all, does he? I'm not saying he should sign over half the shop to you, but to not want your advice? And then what he did today was really awful. Horrible.

Trifleorbust · 24/08/2016 14:41

Stef, unless and until you're married, it is his business, and you're his employee. Except you're an employee whose rota works around her boss and his preferred days off I would get a new job if I were you.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/08/2016 14:47

You're his employee and he's being a bit shitty with you. He has a shop, you work there. You're not married so that's that. Sort a business out for yourself.

Butterpuff · 24/08/2016 14:49

Never mix business and pleasure.

Inertia · 24/08/2016 14:52

I'd find another job.

thecatsarecrazy · 24/08/2016 15:06

I agree with butterpuff

CafeCremeMerci · 24/08/2016 15:07

Err. Hang on a bit, he SAID it was her business.

Stef. Sorry, but he sounds like a prick. On both counts.

Why the hell didn't he say something this morning? He clearly knew you'd gone to open up. I'd have hit the roof.

Secondly, you need to discuss who owns/manages this business & why when he's said its yours is he now saying it's his?

CafeCremeMerci · 24/08/2016 15:09

How well paid are you for the hours you do, compared to doing the same job elsewhere?

Not that it would change anything for me, not after he said it was mine. Fine for him to have a greater financial stake in it if discussed, but not to interfere with the running of it.

Stefoscope · 24/08/2016 15:09

ImperialBlether - I've been increasingly feeling like he views me as his subordinate lately. Today has made me further question my situation.

I've been looking for other jobs, it's just difficult as my previous work experience is all call centre work which I'd hate to go back to and staying put is slightly more bearable. I've struggled with depression for as long as I can remember and that environment really exacerbated it. Also, he recently changed the business to a limited company, so on paper I'm a Director, not sure if that's simple enough to reverse. My name is also on the tenancy agreement for one half of the business.

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 24/08/2016 15:11

Sounds a bit weird. Why are you a Director and why are you on the tenancy?

ImperialBlether · 24/08/2016 15:11

Hang on, that doesn't sound right! You're 50% responsible for the tenancy, you're a Director, but he doesn't discuss staffing with you? Do you have a financial stake in the business?

Crispbutty · 24/08/2016 15:11

I would find a new dp never mind a new job

Trifleorbust · 24/08/2016 15:12

That's what I thought, Imperial. Does it make you responsible for rent on the business premises??

Lorelei76 · 24/08/2016 15:12

I'm confused
are you saying you know 100% that he knew you were heading for work for no reason and didn't point that out to you?

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tofutti · 24/08/2016 15:12

What a fucker. I wouldn't help him if he makes a mix up.

And how come he 'decided' it was his week off? Do you get equal annual leave?

Is he paying you a fair salary?

I sympathise, I turned up at a temporary job at 6am on a Saturday, only to be reminded I wasn't meant to be working that day. It's one of those moments where you want to do damage to something or someone.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/08/2016 15:13

So you're responsible for the debt but not in charge? I would start getting assertive.

Lorelei76 · 24/08/2016 15:15

tbh I am also a bit confused that it's your business and you forgot when you were meant to be in?

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