To ask you the good and the bad about nursery?

(41 Posts)
Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 12:37:22

My youngest is soon to start nursery in the baby room. Eldest went, no major problems and lived to tell the tale and was happy most of the time.

I know quite a few people who either work or have worked in nurseries and they all say that they wouldn't send their own children. They all say the same things, that the children don't get enough 1-1 care, too much paperwork taking them away from the job, some children are unhappy all day but they are told to tell the parents that they're fine, always some staff that are impatient with the children, some staff having poor hygiene, I could go on.

It really worries me, I've looked round lots of nurseries and even though I have one I'm happy with I do worry, I shouldn't do because I've already done it all before it's just the things I get told.

Does anyone work in a nursery that can speak more highly of them?

HeyNannyNanny Wed 24-Aug-16 12:39:20

People generally have more things to say about the negative than the positive.
"Nursery is good" isn't newsworthy.

Check the OFSTED rating which is always a good indicator.

BillSykesDog Wed 24-Aug-16 12:42:45

My little boy went to nursery from 2.5 and loved it. He had a childminder from 1-2.5 (and same childminder in the afternoons after that) and I was very happy with that too. I preferred that he had more of a 1-1 relationship with the childminder and the small group of children she cared for. I also liked knowing the same person cared for him every day. That worked for us.

SirKillalot Wed 24-Aug-16 12:46:47

My children love their nursery. They are fantastic, and I'm so glad I chose the nursery they are at.

I chose nursery because I work shifts, I need reliable childcare that has no sick or annual leave days.

There are good and bad nurseries just the same as any other child care. There are good and bad child minders. I'm a nurse and have too much paperwork taking me away from my job too.

whogrewoutoftheterribletwos Wed 24-Aug-16 12:49:25

My daughter started nursery at 2, 3 days a week. She loves it. They have a great outdoors area and the staff are dedicated. They all seem to want to be there, not just filling in time until something better comes along. My son, however, was at a different nursery, with staff who couldn't care less and run by a woman who only had the nursery because she thought it a good money earner. So I guess it depends on the nursery - go have a look around and get a feel for the place. You can pretty quickly work out whether or not it's for you

smiles01 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:49:52

I am a room manager of 2 toddler rooms in a nursery and I would hands down send my child to nursery from a young age.

You have bad nurserys who do all those things you mentioned, but then you also have amazing nurseries that go above and beyond to give the children the bet possible care.

Some of the negatives are that the care isnt 1:1 and there is a lot of paperwork but these things shouldn't make a difference to the care your child recieves. These things should be managed efficiently to ensure all the children and happy and cared for.

smiles01 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:50:23

If you have any other more specific questions just ask smile

madein1995 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:56:15

I agree, there are Good and bad in everything. Myself I wouldn't choose to send babies to nursery if I had an option - the busy day and the independence ethos means that in nurseries I've worked in young babies are left to cry and as a new staff member I was told off for picking them up. I think 18 months plus nurseries are fantastic. Children are older and don't need so much cuddling as babies which means they're generally happier and I think it benefits children much more.

I do think staff all have children's best interests at heart and although mistakes do get made, in my experience it's never on purpose. One thing that did shock me is the use of value products. nothing against them of course but if I were a parent paying for childcare I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.

Management is a crucial factor. One manager I had would undermine us in front of the children, give conflicting advice or orders, and it was a very stressful environment where you made one mistake and were raked over hot coals. We never let that affect how we were with the children though, I would say though sometimes the outstanding nurseries can be worst in terms of warmth and love .

Evilstepmum01 Wed 24-Aug-16 12:56:54

Personally, I found nurseries a bit instituional so my DS went to a childminder from 9 months. She's someone I know and they adore each other. He's firm friends with all the kids she cares for too.
He started nursery last week (now 3) and is doing really well.

I wanted DS to have a family atmosphere and a CM who loves him, if I cant look after him. He is part of their family now and so happy. The nursery we briefly considered was cold, clinical and a bit impersonal for my boy as lots of different staff would have looked after him. The nap room looked like it was from a 3rd world country.

Its up to you, but my DS goes happily every morning to see his CM, skips out the door and is loved. So I dont have to worry!!

Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 13:00:01

Well the nursery I've chosen has a good ofsted but surprisingly I preferred it to the one with outstanding, mainly because I warmed to the staff more.

I suppose what I'm wondering is if there really are children/babies that just don't settle and are distressed all day. I'm worried this might be mine! I'd prefer they be honest so I can rethink arrangements.

Of course I realise this is probably specific to individual nurseries it's just a couple of friends have said staff are told to photograph them when they are happy and distracted to keep the parents happy.

Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 13:02:43

Maidin, appreciate your honesty. My baby will actually be 15 months when he starts so more of a toddler I guess!

loona13 Wed 24-Aug-16 13:03:30

I work in the nursery, and all our staff that care for the children like it. We had one miserable, lazy and always tired cow worker, but she's gone now. There's loads of unnecessary paperwork, and it does take a lot of time, but I can't think of one child that is unhappy all day long.

My DS (12 now), used to go to nursery, and loved it, but stayed couple of times before Xmas in the other nursery, as they offered pre Xmas cheap few hours for parents to do shopping, and was begging us not to send DD (2.5 now) there. He still remembers staff shouting and being very unpleasant for children. And this nursery has outstanding Ofsted report hmm

DD took longer to like her nursery, but she loves it now. She talks more (if it's even possible), is more independent and has lots of fun there.

madein1995 Wed 24-Aug-16 13:06:38

I think once children are walking and talking, not so dependent, they can really thrive history, really once they get past 1 and are more independent it benefits them a lot

BagPusscatnip Wed 24-Aug-16 13:10:48

My two DDs go to nursery and they absolutely love it. My eldest is leaving this week to start school in September and I feel sad for her because she has had such a lovely and positive experience there (even though I know she will love school too). I feel that she has been equipped to deal with school so well thanks to nursery. She can count to 30, write her name and recognise letters and numbers. They can both also do lots of messy play there (where I wouldn't be too keen on them trekking through paint). The staff are all fantastic.

Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 13:14:38

My older dc has been quite independent and had no problems starting school perhaps because of nursery but perhaps his personality anyway.

Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 13:15:37

Your poor ds loona at least he can remember so as not to send your dd there.

crayfish Wed 24-Aug-16 13:18:09

I love my DS nursery. hes been going since he was 11 months. They are lovely, hes not an easiyl upset baby but they give him loads of cuddles and pick him up lots so that must vary if other people say it doesn't happen at theirs. I often watch through the window before I go in and the staff are really attentive. He was one of the youngest in his room for a while and they really worked hard to settle him in.

The food is also great and they have a brilliant focus on outdoor play and great facilities for that, i couldn't recommend mine enough. I was tempted by a childminder initially, but actually ratios for a childminder can mean that they are dealing with more children than a nursery assistant. Its just the ages that would vary. Its also difficult to get a childminder to work the hours I need.

Hullabaloo31 Wed 24-Aug-16 13:19:24

My eldest is about to leave his nursery and go to school, my youngest has been at the same place for 5 months now, and I would definitely know if either of them weren't happy there. The eldest is really sad to be leaving, and my youngest dashes off into her room to see her keyworkers and play, full of giggles and without a backward glance. I guess it all depends on the nursery and the staff. What I loved when I first visited ours, was that I rocked up to pick up some info, and they invited me to have a look around there and then, completely unplanned and unexpected. They're also amazing with the little ones when they first start, or are teething and grumpy etc. If they need a cuddle to sleep, that's exactly what they get.

IamnotaStepfordHousewife Wed 24-Aug-16 13:24:53

My ds went to a small nursery ranging from 6mths to 5 years and adored it. Plenty of attention, all the staff knew him and every other child. Also all the children knew each other very well and all went to each other's birthday parties. He is off to school in September and we are both going to miss his Nursery. Lots of outdoor play and all the ones going up to school have been learning their numbers and letters.

inlovewithhubby Wed 24-Aug-16 13:28:48

I've used nurseries too and agree there are good and bad. One used products my child was allergic to on the very first day I left her there so it was clear they didn't have proper procedures in place to differentiate kids. I also saw v small baby being left under a mobile on her back for overs 45 mins while I settled my daughter in. If that was being watched, lord knows what net on behind our backs. We withdrew her immediately and got a nanny, who was wonderful and stayed with us for years. Once number 2 came along it was financially the same as two nursery fees but for better and more personal care, with the same person each day. She became family to them.

Used a nursery from 3. They can then feed back to you themselves. Earlier than that my personal preference would be for a childminder or nanny, home based, more personal care for a tiny one who needs only that. The arguments about socialisation before that are rubbish, childminders and nannies mix widely but givr care that is more akin to a parent than a conveyor belt process which nurseries can sometimes feel like.

I also noticed that nurseries have some brilliant staff but also some 'fillers'. The job is badly paid and under appreciated and therefore can have people who aren't bothered about the job or are just plain fed up. You don't know whether your child will end up being looked after all day by one of those 'fillers', people who are adequate, but no more.

Look up an article on the cortisol effect of nursery care on babies. Think it was in the guardian circa 2005/2006. Basically says that nursery care increases the cortisol levels in babies, which is evidence of the panic reflex. However they look to the outsider, inside their hormones show levels of elevated panic/distress. I wouldn't want that for my baby if there were another option, though I totally accept that for som people it may be the only local option.

If you have a choice, I'd choose other options than nursery for the baby years. You can get fabulous childminders for the same price as a good nursery.

Historygeek Wed 24-Aug-16 13:33:15

My concern with a childminder is that you're putting all your trust into one person whereas at least with a nursery if you get a bad member of staff hopefully there will be two nice ones.

Although I've no doubt that most are wonderful I've heard some CM horror stories.

honkinghaddock Wed 24-Aug-16 13:41:25

Ds enjoyed nursery from age 3 because he had a key worker who understood his severe sn and because he had 1:1 most of the time. He went for a few sessions a week beginning 6 months before that but even though they tried, they couldn't give him what he needed and we pulled him out until they were able to provide the set up he needed at 3. I think it would have been a lovely place for a nt child.

HoneyBadgers Wed 24-Aug-16 13:50:04

I ran the baby room for a number of years in a 'good' rated nursery (although with 'outstanding' qualities in the report). I definitely say trust your gut and don't only look at ratings. I went on to work in an 'Outstanding' rated setting that I hated - they were all singing all dancing in terms of equipment and activities but the staff were so detached and I didn't feel like the kids had real bonds at all.

I loved working in a baby room, we had so much fun and our little room was happy smile we'd go for outings to the local parks, had tea parties on their birthdays and had genuine bonds with the kids. I'm sure your little one will settle just fine smile

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff Wed 24-Aug-16 13:54:28

DD's room at nursery has 6 other children, two of whom are the children of staff members smile

They use good-quality products - I see the milk and veg being dropped off from a local farm in the mornings.

And I've never seen a baby left to cry there; members of staff are often to be seen doing paperwork with one hand and holding a baby on their hip with the other.

It's just down to the nursery. Personally I like the 'independence ethos' and DD has really thrived there. I like the mix of staff, as she has various 'favourites' and if she doesn't get on with one, it's no biggie.

Millionprammiles Wed 24-Aug-16 14:14:10

Sorry if I'm pointing out the blindingly obvious but a childminder is rarely (ever?) providing 1 to 1 care. That would be a nanny (and I agree a nanny is a better environment for a baby than either CM or nursery).

When dd was 11 months old we looked at a range of childcare - the CMs we saw were either looking after a higher number of children or fewer children but a greater age range (ie so my 11 mth old would be with 3 yr olds), than the nursery we chose.
But that nursery had chosen to operate with ratios lower than the legal requirement (so more staff per babies/toddlers). It cost far more than the CM, which I'm guessing is why they could afford to offer that. Nurseries, like any other form of childcare, vary enormously. We found word of mouth from other parents the best source of info.

There's pros and cons of all childcare - we never wanted one individual to be responsible for dd and worried about her getting very attached to someone who then moved on.
As it happened dd became hopelessly attached to pretty much most of the nursery staff and was despondent when any of them left (but at least had the others for comfort..).

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