To want my toddler to show his true colours at nursery?

[noshthis]

He is a little terror when at home with me and the baby. Constant tantrums and whining. Yet at nursery he is an angel.

Is it terribly bad that I wish he was a shit with them and I got the good kid!?!?

[ALemonyPea]

How old is the baby? Maybe he is acting up at home because he isn't getting the attention at home that he is at nursery?

[BikeRunSki]

DS was like this, even at the starting school. His teacher reckoned that it's because they try so hard to please at school, they are too tired to do so at home.

[noshthis]

Alemonypea the baby is 10 months. The toddler was like this way before the baby arrived. Sigh

He also eats like a champ at nursery. Picky as hell at home. "He's such a good eater" says the nursery nurse with delight...

[noshthis]

Bike I've heard this before. Still annoys me even if true. He tries at nursery why can't he try at home!?!?

[Sleeperandthespindle]

Mine are both like this. As a teacher myself I think I prefer it this way, but it is infuriating!

[bramblesandblackberries]

He feels safest at home

[phillipp]

So many teachers have come up to me to telling me how smiley and well behaved Ds is. Some aren't even his own teachers, though I know them because they taught Dd.

At home he can be lonely. But can also be a stroppy nightmare.

But I try and see the positives. I never had to go into school because of his behaviour. He enjoys school and is doing well. So I would rather it was that way round than an angel at home and a terror at school.

Ds is 5.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Better that was op. To be a angel outside and "devil", inside. That a angel inside and devil outside. At least that way no one can talk about you.
My sister as a kid was a real little melt, but everyone outside. Teachers neighbours family friends would say. Oh she's lovely. Really sweet. If only they were a fly on the wall.
I agree with brambles.
it's probably because they feel safer at home.

[HeCantBeSerious]

Utterly normal.

[TheEagle]

Sounds about right to me.

My 3 fight like nobody's business at home, DTs bite chunks out of each other and throw food, 2.11 yo won't eat anything but cheese. At the CM's? 3 perfect angels who play nicely and eat up every scrap in front of them.

[JellyBelli]

Oh you poor thing. They are clearly sending home the wrong child. Complain to the teacher, hand over the grotty kid and get your little angel back. (LH)

[insan1tyscartching]

It's much worse the other way round though Ds2 was a delight at home and at school until he got to secondary and then he made it his mission in life to torment the living daylights out of his teachers. He was still an absolute joy at home and elsewhere though
I spent half my life in school or on the phone to school listening to the latest misdemeanour or agreeing the next detention or report or whatever they believed would address it.
Thankfully it lasted only five years until he went to sixth form where he decided he would toe the line instead.
Have a think about what happens at nursery that you could do at home. Are there strict routines? Plenty of outside play? Sensory play? By doing similar at home you might get similar behaviour too.

[cjt110]

Nope. My 2 year old is exactly the same.

[BeautyGoesToBenidorm]

2 yo DS2 is a chubby cheeked, smiling, affectionate perpetually cheerful and entertaining toddler at nursery, who everyone adores and is the admitted 'favourite' of more than one staff member. At home, he can be an utter shitbag, screechy, demanding, stubborn, and prone to throwing the most horrendous tantrums that have scared me silly in the past.

However, I'd much rather he was like that with me than at nursery - it shows he feels safe to show his emotions at home, and on a more shallow level I'd rather he had a public 'best face', as it's much easier to handle him without feeling completely useless when we're out of the house!

[LostQueen]

My DD (4)is exactly the same. She's been at day camp this summer and keeps coming home with star of the week certificates for being polite and following instructions. What I would like to know is when those become transferable skills so I can see them demonstrated at home!

[Tangoandcreditcards]

Oh wow. I thought it was just me that had more toddlers than I thought.

One that stays at home and moans, strops and can't entertain himself, takes the baby's toys (chucks 'em) and will only drink squash from a sippy cup.

One goes to nursery and is a delight, plays with his friends, shares out the toys, plays on his own, pours water for the whole class and drinks it himself, is polite and never cries.

He only does 2 afternoons at nursery a week, so I don't know what his excuse for his behaviour at home is on other days!

Secretly glad it's pretty normal.

[Trifleorbust]

Often it is just how they go about fitting in and they follow the leader a bit. If the rest of the kids are eating X, they just don't think to question it. A nursery worker is an authority figure as well, so will often give instructions in a different way to a parent. Again, the kids don't think to disregard it at that stage.

[Tangoandcreditcards]

OR
is it that the nursery staff are just so lovely they only tell us the good stuff!

[NuffSaidSam]

ALL children save their worst for their parents.

ALL children are better behaved at school/nursery/childminder/nanny/babysitter/grandparents/friends' parents etc.

It's the joys of being a parent!

[noshthis]

Tango sometimes I do wonder this! There was ONE time she told me he had a strop and inside I was a bit glad!

[noshthis]

Tango I could have written your post. Exactly the same to the baby!

[drspouse]

I think it also has to do with nursery/school being stressful and being on your best behaviour being hard work.

I think this applies more as they get older/school gets more demanding and if they are in school/nursery more of the time.

[JustMarriedBecca]

I'm never quite sure I believe the nursery. There is NO WAY she would eat cabbage.

[noshthis]

Nuff life is unfair eh?

[ZippyNeedsFeeding]

Trust me, it's better this way round! I'd rather deal with the bad stuff myself than have to cope with pissed-off teachers or parents of other children.