AIBU to me soooo annoyed and upset??

(6 Posts)
2ndtimemama Sun 21-Aug-16 18:41:58

This is my 1st time posting..so I'm a little nervous. I wanted to get your opinions on something that happened last night between me and my DP. At approx 22.30, after having watched a movie I said to my DP, I am going up to bed with a cuppa and a magazine. That i wanted to chill for a bit before bed. He said he was coming too. Fine. No prob with that. By the time i got upstairs he was already there..had turned on the Tele and was watching Olympic highlights. I got into bed beside him with my tea and mag. Now a little bit of background is needed here. Back in Jan I had retinal surgery..and unfortunately have lost most of my sight in my right eye. I can see light and dark shadows but no detail..i have very distorted vision in that eye now, which makes certain things very difficult to do. Reading being one of the hardest. I need to cover the bad eye and use only my other. It takes a bit of time to adjust to light etc and also on this occasion the text I was attempting to read.
Ok, so back to last night..into bed I get and my DP starts to waffle to me about what he was watching..then went on a rant about football..golf..populations of certain Olympic cities, nothing at all important! .I maintained the pleasantries for approx 15 mins after which I said, please love, I'm trying to read this. 2 mins pass. .he goes on again..this time tellin me to look at new Germany football top on the tv. I said i didn't want too. Explained that if i looked at tv it would take me ages to readjust to be able to read again. He said wise up..it will only take u 10 seconds, to which I replied No! . It may take u 10 secs but would take me alot longer. He response. "Dont talk rubbish".
Well needless to say this infuriated me..I have been dealing with this since Jan..had many conversations with him about the loss I have expeienced, both physical and emotional. And for him to say this to be made me feel demeaned, dismissed and like he really doesn't give a damn tbh!! I let a few mins pass..to process how I was feeling then i called him out on it..told him he had upset me greatly, and that he was bang out of order. He got defensive. Told me to wise up. Stop being so sensitive. I got more infuriated. An argument ensued. Many things not attached to the actual incident got said. He got up from bed. Left our home. I assumed he went for a walk to cool off .After 1hr 20 mins i contacted him to see if he was coming back as i wanted to lock the house up. He told me he wasnt!! I think he went to my MIL. She only lives a few streets away.
So this morn. 9.30a.m. ..the door wraps. It's him. Down ontime to take our DS to his swimming lesson. He starts a convo with me, gives me all his annoyances..how i was rude by not conversing with him..how i was cheeky by shouting at him. And how he is fed up of me speaking to him like he is a dog! He also said that he has did nothing wrong, that his response of "don't talk rubbish" was a throw away comment, which he now takes back. And based on this he won't be saying sorry!
I got upset again. Cried. Got frustrated. Then went to swimming lesson. Since we've got home it's been all picture, no sound! And tbh, I have no will or want to speak with him. It's bad enough having to look at him!
So my question to you guys is, am I over reacting to this? Am I bring childish to not just let it go?

MetalPetal86 Sun 21-Aug-16 18:56:02

Yes it sounds like he was being insensitive but TBH these types of things happen in relationships and although I do think he was unfair (sleeping elsewhere and the initial incident) I find it would be better to wait a while, let it slide and then calmly mention how it made you feel after a few days.

Sorry t hear about your sight - it must be hard to come to terms with.

DoreenLethal Sun 21-Aug-16 19:04:43

Whilst he is gone, can you take the tv out of the bedroom for a start?

And no, he was being totally unfair. He wants to watch TV then stay downstairs. Bedrooms are not for tv watching.

Optimist1 Sun 21-Aug-16 19:05:31

I was trying to evaluate the situation with an open mind until you said he accused you of being cheeky! Cheeky?? Sounds as though he's reprimanding a child; therefore you are NBU.

Sorry to hear about your condition.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sun 21-Aug-16 19:31:59

You are not over reacting.

The failure to apologise is bad. The silent treatment is appalling too, considering it is him that owes you an apology. I wouldn't resume normal service until he apologised tbh,.

It sounds like he was going out of his way to annoy you and disrupt your evening.

Has he done that kind of thing before?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sun 21-Aug-16 19:36:20

And no, he was being totally unfair. He wants to watch TV then stay downstairs. Bedrooms are not for tv watching.

Unless you have a TV in the bedroom, which OP does - which suggests TV can be watched there. I have one too. I am happy to watch TV in bed or downstairs, depending on where I feel like being.

He was unreasonable, though. Even if he was desperate to make small talk with you, he should have been aware that you were reading and that looking up would affect your vision. I wouldn't be happy about his response to this whole thing, either.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now