You couldn't write this sh*t!!!!!

(355 Posts)

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Tryingtostayyoung Sun 21-Aug-16 18:36:07

I literally can not believe what has just happened to me, I am fuming, in shock and shaking...

I have a very good friend, part of the same friendship group wouldn't say she is my bestest friend but always been a good one. I was out for dinner with our group a few nights ago and she was talking about how she is convinced her fiancé is having an affair. We all told her we didn't think he was because tbh he's fantastic and quite obviously loves her and she's just paranoid (always been a bit of a drama queen)...

Now rewind to around a month ago I was at a family function and my younger cousin was there (18) who I'm not exactly close to but we do get on very well. She tells me that she has a new boyfriend I ask why he isn't there, she confides in me that he has a serious girlfriend but that she is depressed and suicidal and he can't leave her hmm I expressed that it was wrong even if that was his situation because he should be focussing on trying to end it gently, not doing the thing that could push this poor girl over the edge...

So surprise surprise you all know where this is going... I am out today, cousin calls me, can i come over, I can hear she's in tears. Turns out she's pregnant, she wants the baby, the prick is pressuring her to abort. I start trying to talk to her about her options etc etc. Her phones ringing like MAD and she tells me it's him and she's ignoring she thought he loved her etc then she gets a text and she tells me he's outside and wants her to come down and talk to him, I look outside and who is it?! YOU GUESSED IT!!!!

My friend is definitely not depressed or suicidal he is just a complete and utter wanker and I am furious. She went with him and i didn't tell her because i don't know what to do. I don't like to get involved in things like this normally but AIBU I'm already involved aren't I?? Fuck sake!!!!

mrsfuzzy Sun 21-Aug-16 18:38:52

this isn't going to end well... hard hats at the ready... what a situation and you've been pulled into the middle of it.

ProseccoBitch Sun 21-Aug-16 18:39:00

OH. MY. GOD. I don't envy you OP, what an absolute nightmare. Did he see you and therefore knows you know?

DerekSprechenZeDick Sun 21-Aug-16 18:40:02

All you need is a death and you have a Hollyoaks storyline.

I'd stay out of it.

Noonesfool Sun 21-Aug-16 18:40:32

I would tell both the women. That's where your loyalty is.

Good luck!

Tryingtostayyoung Sun 21-Aug-16 18:42:38

No definitely didn't see me!! She actually told me to not let him see me because their meant to be a secret. Fucking idiot. He's literally taken advantage of her naivety, she's only bloody 18!!!

mrsfuzzy Sun 21-Aug-16 18:43:57

derek what are you implying ?grin this could be a potential bonkbuster on the big screen but it's seriously shitty all round, di your cousin know he was with someone else ? why no precautions used ? will the fiancee dump him ?

phillipp Sun 21-Aug-16 18:44:58

I think your cousin needs to know. She needs to make a decision about this baby.

Personally I would let him know, that I know and tell him to come clean. Or you will do it.

Tryingtostayyoung Sun 21-Aug-16 18:45:22

I feel like because she's pregnant I need to protect her but I just don't know how. Her parents are going to kill her when they find out, she's meant to be starting uni and its with this bloody guy who's engaged and my poor friend, their meant to be getting married next August her parents have already started paying for things.

Seriously I don't know how to handle this, I shouldn't have gone round!!!! I wish I'd never seen her call

RebootYourEngine Sun 21-Aug-16 18:45:23

I think you should tell both of them.

Your cousin needs to know that she is being spun a story and if you want to keep your friend and friendship group i would tell your friend because when she finds out that you know and didnt tell her you will lose her friendship.

DearMrDilkington Sun 21-Aug-16 18:46:14

How old is he?

humblesims Sun 21-Aug-16 18:46:41

I would tell both the women. That's where your loyalty is.

Agree with this.

Kaisha02 Sun 21-Aug-16 18:46:43

The fiancee needs to know, now. The longer you leave it, the longer you're implicated in the secret.
Your cousin needs to know also why this is particularly complicated for you.
Your loyalty is with those two women, and they both deserve to know the truth, as horrible as it is.

MoonfaceAndSilky Sun 21-Aug-16 18:48:14

Well, I would definitely tell your friend, as there are no children she can get the hell out of it.....as for your cousin, poor girl, I think she needs to know too.

Laineymc7 Sun 21-Aug-16 18:48:20

Oh gosh. I would say to your friends bloke that he best tell her or you will. This will be difficult with your friend group when it comes out. Be honest. Awful situation though. You can support your cousin but tell her to get rid of him and seriously consider futures options re the baby.

Velvetdarkness Sun 21-Aug-16 18:48:25

I agree you should tell them both. Tell your cousin first and then your friend and be there for both of them but avoid being caught in the middle.
What a mess and what a douche he is.

Poptart27 Sun 21-Aug-16 18:48:28

Oh geez. Poor you, OP. You've been pulled in and there's nothing you can do other than tell your friend and cousin the truth. I would bank on this being the end of your friendship though, not through any fault of your own but by association...he cheated on her with YOUR cousin.

ijustwannadance Sun 21-Aug-16 18:48:50

Normally I would say stay out of it but if in this case I would have to tell my friend

Tryingtostayyoung Sun 21-Aug-16 18:48:58

Reboot your right if I don't tell my friend it will ruin our whole group and my cousin needs to know.

So I'm thinking that she's young, fragile and pregnant, maybe I should tell her mum? Tell her the whole thing and let her break it to her? Their very close.

Friend I'm thinking that I call her when I know that cousin will be talking to her mum (so that she doesn't then go back to her fiancé and then him to cousin before her mums had a chance) and tell her. Or do I tell him to tell her? Or do i let him tell them both??

Hassled Sun 21-Aug-16 18:49:01

Agree that you should tell them both. For their sake's, but also your own - this sort of scenario won't stay a secret; sooner or later one or both of them will find out, and if they know that you knew and said nothing then your relationship with both of them will be over. You can't sit on this information and come out of it looking good.

Magstermay Sun 21-Aug-16 18:50:54

It's not going to end well is it confused! wine for you being put in this situation.

I think you've got enough reason to 'get involved' as like you say, he's majorly taken advantage of a family member and I don't think you can ignore that. If I was your friend I think I would be more angry to find out you'd not told me, than I would be if you did. Especially given they're not yet married. I think it wouldn't go down well if they got married and THEN she found out you knew.

Amelie10 Sun 21-Aug-16 18:51:18

Well this is quite the coincidence that it's your friend and your cousin of all people.

Hassled Sun 21-Aug-16 18:51:20

X post - talking to the mum first sounds like a really good idea.

Catsize Sun 21-Aug-16 18:51:28

Tell the cousin, then the friend. Horrible for everyone.

andintothefire Sun 21-Aug-16 18:51:32

I would tell your cousin first, and explain that you will also need to tell your friend about the situation. Your cousin may feel betrayed if you go behind her back (and yes I know she has been stupid and selfish, but she is still family and you don't want to cause a permanent rift if you can help it). But be very clear with your cousin that your loyalty also lies with your friend and you need to tell her.

I would not forgive a friend of mine who found out that my partner was cheating and didn't tell me. I think your friend does deserve to know.

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