Child getting ill at nursery - WIBU?

(59 Posts)
trebleclef101 Sun 21-Aug-16 11:56:41

13mo DD goes to nursery one day a week. and it seems like every week she has a different illness - so far we have had various colds, a couple of basic viruses (fever, rash etc), impetigo, a most recently a stomach bug that bought down the whole family.

Now it might just be coincidence but the timings suggest that she is picking things up from other kids at nursery as she always gets ill a couple of days after her nursery day.

My DH is talking about taking her out of nursery as he is fed up with her getting ill (we do have alternative child care so this is a viable option). My opinion is that we will have to deal with this sooner or later while her immune system learns to deal with being around other children so we should just man up and power through, rather than delaying the inevitable.

WIBU?

Misty9 Sun 21-Aug-16 11:58:43

How long has she been going? We had this with both dc for the first 6 months of starting nursery. You're right, it will settle down, but it is a pain in the meantime I agree!

Champagneformyrealfriends Sun 21-Aug-16 12:00:10

It's the best way to build immunity. She'll only get it all when she starts school if you take her out.

Passthecake30 Sun 21-Aug-16 12:00:56

I agree with you...its normal to pick up bugs from mixing with other children, and if not now, then it will be at school. Plus mixing with other children/carers helps developmentally....

So long as it's not norovirus over and over, ie parents are sticking to the 48hr rule...

Banana99 Sun 21-Aug-16 12:06:18

It's normal, I know kids who never went to nursery (school or private) and they just go through the same thing when they start school, which is worse.
I was off a lot with DD between ages 1-2 years, lots of temperatures etc. She's is hardly ever ill now

trebleclef101 Sun 21-Aug-16 12:08:43

She has been going for about 2 months.

I agree with the school comments, I would rather deal with it now instead of pulling her out and dealing with it when she goes to school and risk her missing school.

The nursery are pretty good with illness (I had to take DD home once as she developed a fever) so it's never anything serious, just one little thing after another.

wowbutter Sun 21-Aug-16 12:12:07

My son was ill on and off for the first year he was in childcare, that's what happens when they don't go full time.
It is going to happen.

ElphabaTheGreen Sun 21-Aug-16 12:25:06

Both of mine have been in nursery full time since they were eight months old. They were both sick continuously for the first 6-12 months and now they're healthy as horses. DS1 obligingly got chicken pox over and done with at 10 months old, thanks to nursery.

Just ride the mo fo out. It's a pain in the arse but worth it in the long run. The social benefits also well outweigh the minimal risks.

5moreminutes Sun 21-Aug-16 12:28:32

People always trot out the argument that this is the best way to build immunity and that if it doesn't happen now it will happen when they are at school.

I am a bit dubious though - their immune systems aren't as strong when very small, and you can only build immunity to things that you can't catch twice - plus very small children are unhygienic creatures and put their fingers everywhere and in their mouths a lot more than slightly older children, so viruses and bacterial infections spread even faster through a room of 1 year olds than through a class of 4 year olds.

One of my friends had her DD in full time nursery and her DD was ill almost every other week - she felt she was putting in the ground work and was a bit smug that I would have it even worse when my children started preschool, and sometimes suggested we should use nursery even though we didn't then need it "to build up their immunity so they don't miss lots of preschool and school when they are older". When mine started pre school though they were still ill less often than her DD...

I think it's a bit of an old wives tale about building up immunity - as long as you don't keep your DD in a germ proof bubble and she gets out and about she is exposed to things anyway. Many children never get things like impetigo - they are most easily spread in settings like the baby and under 3s rooms in nurseries and not so rife among children old enough to be a bit less likely to put their hands up each other's noses and in each other's mouths and dribble on and chew toys etc. grin

TheCrumpettyTree Sun 21-Aug-16 12:30:15

She's only been there two months? This is entirely normal. She's in a new environment with children and a whole host of new germs. Of course she's going to get ill. The GP told me recently I should expect at least 7 virus's a year with my toddler.

They get everything to begin with then it calms down a bit. Pulling her out isn't going to solve the problem as it will happen when she starts school.

Stevefromstevenage Sun 21-Aug-16 12:35:52

It's the best way to build immunity. She'll only get it all when she starts school if you take her out.

I suggested something similar to a consultant paediatrician when my eldest was in a similar situation and he strongly disagreed with the premise. Apparently the human immune system takes between 5-7 years to reach maturity and it is not good to be over exposing them to unnecessary illness when they are younger and the immune system is too immature to deal with it. He reckoned if you can hold off nursery do.

hiccupgirl Sun 21-Aug-16 12:36:26

My Ds started nursery at 8 months old and he was ill pretty much every other week for the first 6 months. He kindly shared the bugs with us too. Apart from a sick bug when he started school, he has never had as many bugs again so I would go with the building up immunity theory.

I would keep her there and see if it improves in a couple more months tbh.

MaddyHatter Sun 21-Aug-16 12:36:44

totally normal, and not just for the kids, new staff get it too!

Its really better to ride it out now for the full 12 month cycle of seasonal illnesses, or she will have to go through it later when it might be more crucial to her education.

You can always spot the children in reception who never did nursery, they're always off ill!

Pokedex Sun 21-Aug-16 12:38:18

Yup, school and nursery staff suffer from it as well.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 21-Aug-16 12:39:47

Do she goes 1 day a week and only attending first 2 months so 8-10 weeks?

And she's had all that?

I agree with your ds tbh there are some serious hygiene issues or a large amount of parents ignoring the fact their child is contagious/sick and sending anyway.

Stuff that.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 21-Aug-16 12:40:23

And I'm pretty laid back and I expect there to be an increase but that's ridiculous

5moreminutes Sun 21-Aug-16 12:45:28

Children who first start school at 4 or preschool at 3 are not off "every other week" though - mine all started preschool at 3 having done no formal child care (but lots of toddlers groups etc) before the age of 3, and none of them were off more than a couple of times per year, not month...

Very small children spread germs more readily because they have their fingers and everything else in their mouths and those of other tots, and their immune systems are less able to cope.

OP you are not necessarily putting in bomb proofing ground work at all - you can't become immune to things that can be caught upteen times, and things like flus and colds and lots of other bugs mutate so it's a different strain each year, plus it is just so much more difficult to stop very small toddlers and crawling babies contaminating each other.

If you have other child care I'd hold off nursery til she's 3, I don't think there is any actual science behind the "build up immunity" argument unless your choice is between total isolation in a germ proof bubble and nursery.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Sun 21-Aug-16 12:46:23

My Gdd started nursery 3 days a week from 9 months, and she had an almost permanent cold/cough/both for months on end.
I gather it's more or less normal for the first year, while they build up their immunity.
Her nursery is however very strict about children staying away if they obviously have a tummy bug or are otherwise unwell, but these things can first show up during the day rather than beforehand, so it's not necessarily possible to prevent children passing on bugs.

currentlyunavailable Sun 21-Aug-16 12:54:00

completely agree with 5moreminutes

It was the same with mine: they only went with other children when they were a bit older, and didn't seem to catch more viruses and bugs than others at all. Of course they catch colds and the odd stomach bug, but I saw other mums explaining that kids in the same class had caught various things, and mine were completely fine most of the time.

Supermagicsmile Sun 21-Aug-16 12:56:01

Better to build her immunity up now, she'll be fine by the time she goes to school!

bikerlou Sun 21-Aug-16 12:58:34

I was ill non stop when I started nursing and I can honestly say I have a cast iron immune system now. You can't stop them getting ill, especially when they start school but I can't help thinking she is a little young to be ill all the time. Very young children are quite vulnerable.
I'd rather a tiny child of mine had a pet to help with the immune system and went to a child minder.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sun 21-Aug-16 13:05:21

They will get ill but I also think the nursery environment can make a difference.

How much of the day do they spend outside? How clean is the setting? What is hand washing like among both staff and children? Eg do they have enough soap and do they all wash hands before eating? How ready are the staff with a tissue to wipe noses? And after wiping are tissues thrown away and hands sanitised?

I think considering it is August and the children should have spent less time cooped up inside, where it is easier to pass on infection, that does seem quite a lot of illness.

jobrum Sun 21-Aug-16 13:17:10

Been there, it's awful. My dd started at ten months at the end of October so even though they took them outside a lot, because of the bad winter weather they spent a lot of time indoors. The windows were often open but it's still a lot of dribbly, snotty babies touching each other's faces and licking everything. Dd got a couple of colds and then just got another and another...

It does get better, after a couple more months you'll no doubt notice she's getting fewer illnesses. She's getting exposed to lots of viruses that she is going to encounter at some point: be that nursery, playgroups or school. Keeping her in a sterile bubble will do her no good.

Flowerpower41 Sun 21-Aug-16 13:23:43

Yep children get sick a lot when they first start nursery. No picnic for their families either constantly getting sick alongside them!

It calms down once they start school but they STILL bring things home now and again still c'est la vie!

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 21-Aug-16 13:33:37

This thread is actually very worrying.

Babies are exposed to stuff all the time. They crawl around on the floor and eat out of dog bowls and even literally eat shit.
Buses, taxis, trains, older siblings, swimming pools, toilet floors, toddler groups, HV clinics at Dr's surgeries, school halls, churches, vet clinics, and many many more places where lots of people and children and animals are all in close proximity breathing over or coughing over ,touching each other and treading/crawling in poo or wee or being locked by dogs/cats etc and being around older children carrying God knows what. And they don't get ill that excessively.

Why is nursery really that different and surely you'd query why it was happening rather than just accept it?

If the children aren't being kept clean enough or the toilets are filthy or staff weren't washing hadst or disposing of stuff properly that's worth finding it about surely?

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