AIBU to cry after being mocked for holding my knife the wrong way?

(315 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

kathybilbo Thu 18-Aug-16 21:21:18

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I have just come back from what should have been an enjoyable meal and I can't stop crying about comments that a couple of people made about my 'manners'

We went for a small work meal, just a few of us, and we were having a nice time until one of the other people there said something like "we can tell who comes from a council estate" and nodded at me (I can't remember exactly what was said I was just shocked). One of the others, an older lady who I did think was friendly, laughed and said in a patronizing way "you're holding your knife the 'poor' way, dear." I had no idea what they meant, but then they said that I hold the knife like a pencil, not the 'correct' way, I can't even really describe it but I'm sure people can imagine. I completely lost my appetite and felt really embarrassed and humiliated. They have always been a bit pretentious and they like loudly proclaiming at work about articles they read in the telegraph or tv shows they watched on bbc4 but have never been personally insulting. When they were saying all this the waiter was around bringing some more drinks and even he nodded and laughed along, which I didn't think was that professional.

And at the end of the meal my colleague who had brought the whole thing up was running her thumb around her plate and licking it clean (licking her thumb and running it around).

I think I was in shock really for a bit and it didn't really register but now I've got home I can't stop crying and feeling really embarrassed. I have to go back into work tomorrow but I think I might just call in as I don't think I can face them again really. I almost think I will get self-concious every time i use a knife now, I think I will have to try using it the other way.

KenDoddsDadsDog Thu 18-Aug-16 21:24:53

They are wankers with no manners.

Euphemia Thu 18-Aug-16 21:25:36

I used to do this, and trained myself to hold it the "correct" way after some cunt I worked with pointed it out! And yes, I grew up on a council estate!

Do you have to eat with these people? I'd be strictly professional with them. Gits.

FuzzyOwl Thu 18-Aug-16 21:26:38

^ This

What bullies. I'm sorry they ruined your meal and upset you so much. flowers

Harvey246 Thu 18-Aug-16 21:26:49

Horrible people. Ignore them. They probably don't realise how much they've upset you though and just see it as a joke that they've forgotten about already. I wouldn't let it put you off going into work, easier said than done but try to forget about it and if anything feel sorry for their ignorance.

Backingvocals Thu 18-Aug-16 21:26:58

How absolutely weird and rude. They sound horrible. Horrible. Poor you for having to work with them. Easy to say don't let them get to you but that's all you can do. Twats sad

RiverTam Thu 18-Aug-16 21:28:00

Twats. They may know the 'right' way to hold a knife but they have fuck all manners or class.

Mycraneisfixed Thu 18-Aug-16 21:28:05

My parents made sure I held my cutlery correctly among other things but also impressed upon me that I should never ever comment on how other people behave at the table. That really is the height of bad manners.

reallybadidea Thu 18-Aug-16 21:28:36

Don't cry. They're nasty, rude bitches and are the ones who should be crying with shame, not you.

sooperdooper Thu 18-Aug-16 21:29:11

Ugh how dare they be so rude, they're the ones with no manners, I couldn't care less how anyone holds a knife, they sound hideous snobs

thewideeyedpea Thu 18-Aug-16 21:29:39

They sound extremely rude (and a bunch of twats) go to work tomorrow and hold your head up high!

SonicSpotlight Thu 18-Aug-16 21:30:02

If this happened it would be very unkind.

Greebosmum Thu 18-Aug-16 21:30:40

My husband has some friends like this. I hate staying with them as they seem to take great delight in watching me eat and pick me up on everything I do wrong. They are good at etiquette but have no manners in my opinion. Luckily I am.an old bird and don't care what they think of me smile

braceybracegirl Thu 18-Aug-16 21:31:11

somebody said this to me once and i was really upset too. I dont understand it tbh. i couldn't give a toss about how anyone holds their cutlery. People can be so mean.

SallyMcgally Thu 18-Aug-16 21:31:20

I'd be tempted to point out that making someone feel small is far worse. Good manners are rooted in trying to think of others' comfort, not in ridiculing them. They sound like bitches. It really doesn't matter how you hold your knife. It matters an awful lot if you make someone feel miserable. flowers

LineyReborn Thu 18-Aug-16 21:31:51

What an extraordinary thing to happen.

JinkxMonsoon Thu 18-Aug-16 21:31:56

What horrific snobs.

I eat with my cutlery the wrong way around, i.e. the left handed way, despite being right handed. I guess I could train myself to do it the correct way, but I don't give a shit.

Don't cry about your cutlery skills - just be thankful that those people have shown their true colours to you. They are nasty people.

NanFlanders Thu 18-Aug-16 21:32:03

How to hold your knife is etiquette. Being considerate of and polite to others is manners - clearly your colleagues have no manners at all.

chocoLit Thu 18-Aug-16 21:32:09

What a shower of shites. And rude ones at that. angry

Evilstepmum01 Thu 18-Aug-16 21:32:12

Patronising bastards. Why change the way you hold your knife cos of pretentious twats who think theyre better than you?
Have a cry, have some wine, then go into work tomorrow with your head held high and just be cool and professional with them. Dont tell them and dont cry, they're bullying you.
Last time you socialise with them!

Don't let them bully you away from the success you deserve at work. The previous posters are right, it was in poor form for them to tease you about the way you hold your knife. Just think to yourself - you can always hold your knife differently whereas they're stuck with their mean personalities.

Is this the only incident?

WanderingTrolley1 Thu 18-Aug-16 21:32:58

OP, they are ill-mannered and completely lacking in class of charm.

You are better than them! Go to work tomorrow knowing that.

PlanBwastaken Thu 18-Aug-16 21:33:32

YABU. You should have used the knife to stab them, obviously.

gamerchick Thu 18-Aug-16 21:33:46

Ah wipe your tears, go in tomorrow and act professional. Decline any more invitations outside of work.

They're rude and ill mannered, don't pay it no heed.

I'm surprised that people still dish out council house comments in this day and age when jealousy over them is rife. Bellends.

Hockeydude Thu 18-Aug-16 21:33:55

Yes they were nasty. But don't react, just pretend nothing has happened. Bullies like a bit of reaction and drama so don't give it to them.

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