To wonder how you look after a baby and a toddler

(108 Posts)
StormyTeaCup Wed 17-Aug-16 22:56:42

Clearly lots of people manage to do this (and more) but it just seems like a logistical nightmare!? I suspect I am overthinking it but I am a bit freaked out by the prospect confused

FeckinCrutches Wed 17-Aug-16 22:59:40

A bit more info might help!

StormyTeaCup Wed 17-Aug-16 23:04:37

DH keen to start ttc dc2. Our son is not yet 1 year old. DH works away a lot and i am just trying to picture exactly how I would manage things like bath/bed time on my own. People obviously do manage this but I am really not sure how!

Theknittinggorilla Wed 17-Aug-16 23:06:15

Terrifying at first then second nature!

Deal with the toddler first as they are most likely to get themselves into danger grin
Get a sling
Lower standards....

StormyTeaCup Wed 17-Aug-16 23:07:59

Good tips. Thank you gorilla

Kittykatmacbill Wed 17-Aug-16 23:08:16

Lower standards. Hope second child naps (mine didn't!).

It's actually worse when child2 is a grabby crawly / unsteady toddler.

OhFuds Wed 17-Aug-16 23:08:57

Plenty of chocolate buttons for the toddler!

TBH it's harder being heavily pregnant with a toddler than a newborn and toddler.

SleepFreeZone Wed 17-Aug-16 23:11:13

It's really really shit and then it gets slightly better.

Pinkheart5915 Wed 17-Aug-16 23:11:25

I've got 11 month ds and 2 week old DD.

So I haven't had two DC for long but so far we have coped, but I have a really good DH which I think helps a lot.
I can put baby in a sling and play with ds or go in the garden and ds plays with his toys and I cuddle baby.
DS sleeps 7pm to 6 am and takes a nap or two in the day. Baby sleeps for 3 hours at night so we are coping for sleep at the moment

Theknittinggorilla Wed 17-Aug-16 23:11:59

Massively agree that baby and toddler is easier than pregnant and toddler (she says having just found out I'm expecting dc3!)

And the newborn and toddler bit isn't too bad once you get used to it - pre-schooler and rampaging toddler much harder as they can both move (usually in different directions)

But you find a way and will be fine - two are lots of fun!

FeckinCrutches Wed 17-Aug-16 23:12:14

Get on the baby making straight away, then they are up and at school fairly close together. Get a sling, if you're breastfeeding let the older one watch a bit of tv even if you're not keen. Get a sling. Put oldest in pre school if you can get in. Get out the house as much as you can even if it feels impossible. Make toddler a packed lunch in the morning so you can haul it out of the fridge quickly if you're feeding

Haggisfish Wed 17-Aug-16 23:12:38

Yanbu to wonder! It just sort of happens. The second tends to get left for a lot longer than the first ever did do becomes better at being left alone!

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Wed 17-Aug-16 23:13:02

You get used to it. My just 4yo is at a "sleepover" (with her beloved cm!!) tonight and dh and I were saying what a piece of cake only having the 14mo to deal with! But when dd was 14mo it felt hard work!

StormyTeaCup Wed 17-Aug-16 23:14:27

I think the fact that my son was born believing sleep is a thing to be strictly rationed probably doesn't help! Maybe the next one will be a good sleeper (clutching at straws!)

MeLittleDuckie Wed 17-Aug-16 23:14:45

Marking place as I was going to start a similar thread! This puts the fear into me but as you say, lots of people manage it! If we conceive as soon as we plan to start ttc DC1 will be 2.3 when baby arrives.

Don't think bath time would be much more difficult and eventually they'll be able to share but bed time might be harder?

Theknittinggorilla Wed 17-Aug-16 23:15:38

Oh yes tv is your friend

SparkyBlue Wed 17-Aug-16 23:16:43

To be honest I found pregnancy with a small child constantly demanding attention horrific. Once the baby arrived it was fine.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Wed 17-Aug-16 23:17:02

Divide and conquer! Separate them and keep them safe, then deal with one at a time. So for instance strap your toddler into the car while your baby is still safely strapped into the pram, rather than doing the baby first and realising your toddler has escaped. Or take baby car seat into house, put baby in it, take toddler out and strap them into the car then come back for baby. That sort of thing.

I was very nervous about coping too, and we certainly had our moments (still do and they are 10 and 12 now) but it has in general been fine and no regrets about having them close together.

Never really got on with slings though.

Lilacpink40 Wed 17-Aug-16 23:17:15

Older one grows up a bit more as learns patience. Younger one doesn't get instant attention that older one had, so can be more relaxed. When they're older they have love-hate relationship and you have to, at times, shout to keep the peace. I notice parents with one DC don't have to shout as much. Just my opinion though!

TheWitTank Wed 17-Aug-16 23:17:43

You just cope! I did it - the baby just fit in around what I did with the toddler. I grew very capable at playing games with one arm, using slings, swings, bouncy chairs, bean bags, peppa pig on dvd and double buggying. It just ends up working! You will pull your hair out at times though grin

Stylingwax Wed 17-Aug-16 23:18:33

Make sure first one is potty trained.
Put second one in sling.
Learn to breast feed whilst second one is in sling (best trick EVER)
Use a lot of CBeebies for the first 6 weeks.
Lower standards.
Suggest that partner who wants to try for number 2 does all of the night wakings for both.

StormyTeaCup Wed 17-Aug-16 23:18:55

Helpful advice everyone, thanks smile

We were a year ttc our son and we are both mid 30s so am aware we should probably get on with it!

justdontevenfuckingstart Wed 17-Aug-16 23:19:43

sleep yep! 14 months between mine. you just do it, feed, clean and some sleep.
We chose to do them close (lost one so would have been like pink)
It is always going to be hard, I personally think 2 babies is easier than say a 4 year old and a baby.

And.................

Mine are now 18 & 19 and having them so close was the best thing I ever did. Hard at the time but it paid off in the following years.

Don't freak out but look at what you want to do.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Wed 17-Aug-16 23:20:12

We more or less potty trained ours at the same time (3.5 and 1.5 years), the younger one copied the older one.

NoMudNoLotus Wed 17-Aug-16 23:22:18

Just do it.

You WILL cope. And the age gap is just lovely.

Hard work yes. But boy pushing my babies in a double pushchair - the best feeling ever.

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