To think he should be OK with this by now?

(13 Posts)
iccarus Wed 17-Aug-16 00:05:00

I went back to work when DS2 was 15 months old. He started nursery, same place as DS1, who has since left and gone to school. It's a really lovely setting, can't fault the staff at all but DS2 is now over 3 and a half and we have never had a good drop off. He goes 3 days a week, at home the other 4. Some days are worse than others but there doesn't seem to be a pattern. Today was awful! Lots of crying and sobbing and 'my mummy, please don't leave me mummy'. Some days he screams and kicks and refuses to get dressed or in or out of the car. I cried after I left him this morning. He's been going for ages now! Why isn't he OK with it? Must add that when I collect him, all smiles and has had a lovely time!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 17-Aug-16 00:12:26

I was exactly the same. I'd cling on to my mum almost to the point of vomiting, once I'd got into school though. I was fine. It was just the initial leaving my mum.
I took until junior school to settle.
All children are so different.

TaterTots Wed 17-Aug-16 00:26:08

Unfortunately children don't develop at the rate you want them to.

LilQueenie Wed 17-Aug-16 01:04:13

you say he is ok when its time to leave but what have the teachers said about the time he spends there.

iccarus Wed 17-Aug-16 08:17:41

They say he takes between 10 and 20 minutes to settle but after that begins to join in and it sounds like he is relaxed enough. He plays and chats. I've been to collect him before and watched him before he has noticed me and he looks happy and interested. Thanks I live in a lighthouse, it's good to know it ended for you when you started school. That's my other worry that in 12 months he will be going and I hope it's not the same issue.

He's been going two years and still not settled? Have you tried any other nurseries? It sounds like it might not suit him there?

Cakedoesntjudge Wed 17-Aug-16 08:39:49

Is there anyone else who can drop him off? My DS did this to me all through pre school and through quite a lot of reception and a bit of year 1 too. However, if his dad/grandparents drop him off it doesn't happen and he goes in quickly with no fuss and all smiles.

A lot of the time they do it for your benefit. I'm not sure exactly what they get out of this making us feel extraordinarily guilty game lol but I've learnt that if he's happy when I pick him up and he's been happy most of the day then it's just an initial reaction you have to harden yourself against! You have my sympathy though, it does make you feel absolutely awful flowers

Fluffsnuts Wed 17-Aug-16 08:46:07

I distinctly remember hating pre-school, so I was about 3/4. I don't know how long I went for but I hated one of the teachers, was terrified of her.

To this day I have no idea why, I don't remember her doing anything to me but the sense of relief when my parents stopped me going was so incredible, I still remember it now. As an adult, I still don't know why I didn't like it and don't think there was anything untoward.

Missgraeme Wed 17-Aug-16 09:57:25

Can u leave him something of yours? Heard this suggested years ago. A scarf or a bag? Hang it on his peg - a reminder u will be back because your item is there! Apparently it's a good method tho never tried it!!

redexpat Wed 17-Aug-16 10:56:01

Do you have a ritual? DS was taking ages, and it was getting very stressful, but he loves cars, so his carer puts 2 cars in the desk drawer every day. So when we get there we check in, jacket and shoes off, cars, kiss cuddle high 5 and off he goes. But we had to tell him that that was going to happen.

caffeine99 Wed 17-Aug-16 11:22:10

My daughter has only been attending creche for a few months but I've already noticed that she's fine when her Daddy drops her off but cries whenever I leave her off. She's always perfectly happy as soon as I leave and full of smiles at collection.

Not sure if someone else dropping off might be a solution for you?

Paddingtonthebear Wed 17-Aug-16 11:29:49

My 3.10 yr old says how much she loves nursery, has been going two days a week for 2.5 years. She runs up the road to get there, talks about how much she loves her nursery friends and key workers but still has a little cry and cling at drop off most days. Perfectly happy within minutes of me leaving and happy when I go to pick her up at the end of the day. I think she is just trying it on really as I know she loves it there and they say she is one of the most sociable children in her group.

But she isn't upset to the extent that your son is. Have nursery suggested anything?

Amy214 Wed 17-Aug-16 11:44:30

I hated nursery aswell, my dm tells me that i hated one of the teachers but i don't remember why. I used to cry everytime dm dropped me off, my df took me one day instead and i still cried my eyes out. I can remember dfs face because he was really upset aswell. Once i started school i was fine. Dd is the complete opposite to me she adores preschool and is always desperate to run away from me before i've signed her in.

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