to wish my DH would SHUT UP IN THE MORNINGS??

(99 Posts)
Niggit Tue 16-Aug-16 08:56:03

We've been together for a long time, and he KNOWS I'm not a morning person. But he has to get up before I do in the morning, and he'll deliberately bounce on the bed while he's getting dressed, and he will talk to me. Every. Single. Morning. This morning he was discussing our evening meal, and I was answering him - well, ok, I was grunting, but they were reasonably polite grunts. So then he flounced (loudly) round the bedroom muttering, "Don't talk to me in the mornings - don't talk to me in the mornings..."
Really? After all these years he still tries to hold a conversation before my first cup of tea?
AIBU?

acasualobserver Tue 16-Aug-16 08:57:31

What are his good points?

overthehillandroundthemountain Tue 16-Aug-16 08:58:12

Is your husband Chris Evans? grin

ProcrastinatorGeneral Tue 16-Aug-16 08:58:18

He's an inconsiderate arse to be fair. Quite a nasty one too.l if he's being a duck about it.

Enjoy tourney [tea]

ProcrastinatorGeneral Tue 16-Aug-16 08:59:02

Duck? Tourney?

I need a brew too!grin

miwelaisjacydo Tue 16-Aug-16 08:59:34

Do we have the same husband OP? 😉
I feel your pain.

DraeneiMage Tue 16-Aug-16 09:01:57

Am I your husband?

I do this to OH, cause I'm a dick.

I have to get up before him, he's a SAHD so kind of wakes up when I do, but I talk to him despite getting limited answers and little grunts.

BuzzzyBeee Tue 16-Aug-16 09:05:44

Your husband could be mine angry

ElspethFlashman Tue 16-Aug-16 09:09:55

So he's a goady fucker who effectively spoils for a fight every morning of your life. He's daring you to have the audacity to not want to talk to him.

You have the right to want to wake up slowly. My DH needs a few minutes after getting home knackered from work before talking. I used to pour out all my news the minute he put his foot over the threshold until one day he just exploded and said "I need a few minutes when I come home before I get into a conversation! Let me get changed, have a shit and get settled first!"

I respected that and now wait until he's sitting comfortably. Hes immensely relieved and is able to give me his full attention. It's win/win. We all have the right to ease into transitions in the day.

If I had been your husband I would have simply ignored what he said, and then got the hump day after day when he had the audacity to get sullen and monosyllabic.

PuntasticUsername Tue 16-Aug-16 09:10:10

YANBU. DH bounces out of bed like fucking Tigger. I need about half an hour to properly come to. Seriously don't know how I've not killed him yet.

UmbongoUnchained Tue 16-Aug-16 09:12:50

My husband springs out of bed like it Christmas morning every day. I like how happy he is in the mornings though it's makes me happy. Although the shower singing could be turned down...

CantChoose Tue 16-Aug-16 09:15:18

Gah mine does this. Some mornings I'm up and awake and clearly willing to make conversations. Other mornings I'm quite obviously still asleep and he gets irritated when my answers to his inane questions make no sense...

Popskipiekin Tue 16-Aug-16 09:16:00

Ahhhh my fellow sufferers! I am sending this entire thread to DH grin

Thecatmademedoit Tue 16-Aug-16 09:20:46

Mine is the same, but if I'm at work and he's on a day off he will ALWAYS ask...

"Are you getting ready for work ?"

No, DH. I just thought I'd get up at this time and get ready for no apparent reason. hmm

FaithAscending Tue 16-Aug-16 09:27:42

Oh that's awful! My Mum used to bark instructions at me as I was surfacing. Honestly, I just nodded to get her to leave me alone then she'd have a go that I wasn't doing as she asked! Somewhere along the line I pointed out I wasn't a morning person and if she wrote it down I was more likely to do it. That worked!

DH knows full well to keep it brief. Usually it's just What are you up to today? Have a nice day (I'm PT, he's FT). Honestly, I think you need to talk to your DH in the evenings and tell him it's not on!

Imscarlet Tue 16-Aug-16 09:29:12

I have full conversations with my husband in my sleep in the morning. Then he gets annoyed because I have no recollection of them and haven't done that thing that I promised to do!

carrotcakecupcake Tue 16-Aug-16 09:46:45

Argh another bed bouncer! Mine insists on putting his shoes on while sitting on the side of the bed (why he can't put them on as he's about to leave the house I don't know). I never knew shoelace tying was such a bouncy exercise! flowers brew

Niggit Tue 16-Aug-16 14:36:31

Ohhh, thankyou - this has made me feel so much better!
Puntastic, that's exactly it. Beautifully put!
Thecat, yes, mine will ask stupid questions too - like, "What are we having for dinner tonight?" Bloody hell, man, I don't know - I'm a) still semiconscious and b) at this time of day the thought of anything more than a cup of tea makes my stomach heave!
Carrotcake, yes! Also putting on socks... If I'm REALLY lucky, he'll bring his bowl of cereal up to the bedroom and sit beside me crunching away on his muesli and making muffled sounds about the things he's reading on his tablet.
Faith, believe me, I've tried. You'd have thought he'd understand by now, but he just doesn't get it. And while it's a silly thing to get annoyed about, it really does get me down sometimes, especially if I don't need to get up and could cheerfully have stayed asleep for a bit longer. If I - um - express my displeasure I get told "there's no need to shout" (I don't), then he gets all sniffy and stomps round the room breathing hard through his nose. Can't win...!

Lottapianos Tue 16-Aug-16 14:42:46

I have a perky bugger in my life too. Chatting, climbing on top of me for a hug while I'm barely conscious, singing out loud, blaring the radio..... I'm a morning grunter and like a bit of peace and effing quiet while its still before 7am. So I feel your pain!

Taylia Tue 16-Aug-16 14:45:18

Why is he waking you if you don't need to be awake?

My DH gets up 30 mins before I do and he never deliberately wakes me or starts talking to me if I stir. He lets me sleep until I need to be up!

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 16-Aug-16 14:50:42

It's actually pretty shitty to take sleep from people. I would be really pissed off if it was me. But the time to address it isn't in the morning. Neutral time, "when you wake me up in the morning it makes me angry and sad, because I need my sleep. Please don't wake me up in the morning any more".

If he carries on it's a fairly good indication that he thinks his wants are more important than your needs.

VioletBam Tue 16-Aug-16 14:52:45

I'd be so violently pissed off if my husband BROUGHT HIS CEREAL into the bedroom! That seems deliberate! Is he a toddler? Can't he be alone?

averylongtimeago Tue 16-Aug-16 14:52:57

Is my husband leading a double life?
You would think that after 40 years together he would know not to talk to me before I have had a cup of tea.
I have now, finally trained him to make me a cup of tea before I get up, so I can get up and stagger downstairs where I can drink my tea, if not in silence, at least with my eyes closed.

PurpleDaisies Tue 16-Aug-16 14:56:54

Mine does this too! It's especially annoying as he gets up an hour before me and forgets I try to go back to sleep when he goes. He also talks to me either while I'm about two pages from finishing a book, five minutes from the end of a tv program or about to complete the cryptic.

He is wonderful in many ways but it is so irritating. I feel your pain. smile

Mummaaaaaah Tue 16-Aug-16 14:58:44

My DH wakes up at 5.45 and snoozes his alarm at least three times before hebgets out of bed. That alone is enough for me to consider LT.B. But his worst is on mornings after a big night. I'm not a morning person at the best of times, best not speak to me until I've had my cuppa etc. But with a hangover my husband becomes the loudest most chattiest man you have ever met. I'm crumpled in a heap moaning and he's bouncing around talking louder than God. Gah. Am all angry about it just thinking about it.

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