About my son playing with "girls" toys

(77 Posts)
Alwaysanxiousmummy Sat 13-Aug-16 19:49:17

Hi, this is my first post - hoping you can give me some advice.
I have a gorgeous 6 year old son who is very close to his 5 year old sister. He is extremely bright and articulate - to the point where he talks constantly and even his friends think he is a bit of a yap!
Anyway, he LOVES a specific collect able "girls" toy and I really don't mind him having it. He's not like other boys - he mostly hangs out with girls at school and doesn't enjoy rough play at all. He loves swimming, biking, climbing, etc so a variety of interests.
My DH has made a big fuss about DS playing with girls toys and DS now (proudly) tells people that he plays girls toys. DH is furious about it all and wAnts to take the toy away. He is worried that DS will get made fun of at school and once he gets a nickname he will be stuck with it forever.
I feel that if DS is happy and not bothered what others think then we should encourage him to be an individual and enjoy whatever he likes. I'm worried that if he feels he can't be himself at home when he is 6, then how is he ever going to open up to us in later years.
But equally I don't want to be setting him up to get a hard time at school.
So what would you do? Let him continue to play with what he enjoys or take the toys in an attempt to make him "man up"?
Thanks

user1469553305 Sat 13-Aug-16 19:52:46

Let him play with what the fudge he likes and tell DH to man up!

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 13-Aug-16 19:52:49

There is no such thing as a girls toy

Noonesfool Sat 13-Aug-16 19:53:08

This should help

HeathOnTheRight Sat 13-Aug-16 19:59:15

Your dh is being v unreasonable. Toys are toys. My ds absolutely loves dolls, tea parties & playing with my make up. If it's what he enjoys then great

HeathOnTheRight Sat 13-Aug-16 19:59:51

Love that noone!

CombineBananaFister Sat 13-Aug-16 20:00:17

It's ridiculous and I'd be surprised if others of that age took the piss out of him for playing with a particular 'girls toy'. They usually don't careless and join in. It's only later they become self-concious which is sad.
My DS age 6 loves dancing but his friends think it's fab when he puts on a show.
YANBU

PrincessWellington Sat 13-Aug-16 20:01:43

My son is 11. He was like your son. Still is. He has a doll collection to be proud of. His father doesn't like it. Luckily for ds he doesn't live with us and ds just doesn't tell him.

CocoaBum Sat 13-Aug-16 20:03:53

Is it shopkins? I know lots (and lots) of boys who are obsessed with them.

But, I also refer you to the diagram above...

sentia Sat 13-Aug-16 20:04:26

Your DH is being silly, what does he think will happen? He needs to learn to see your DS as his own little person with far more complexity than just toy choice rather than pigeonholing him as a stereotype "boy".

SpaceDinosaur Sat 13-Aug-16 20:04:39

Your "D"H has a very warped perspective of children's toys. It's usually a skill of more "backward" men.

My son can't play with a toy kitchen, push the toy pram, hold the dolly
Why? Because daddy doesn't ever go in the kitchen, push the pram/feed or hold the baby?
My son can't dress up in sparkly outfits?
Why? Clothes are clothes. Those marketed at girls are infinitely more fun. Children like fun.
My son can't play with anything pink.
Why?
OH MY GOD HE MIGHT CATCH THE GAY!!!

Fucking idiots!!! grin

Noonesfool Sat 13-Aug-16 20:06:28

The gay is notoriously contagious, Space grin

Toffeewhirl Sat 13-Aug-16 20:07:34

Your DH is being daft. I've never distinguished between so-called girls' and boys' toys. DS2 (10) has a dolls' house, but also plays with toy soldiers. Both my boys used to push dolls in toy buggies, but they also like playing with nerf guns. Traditional girls' toys often encourage caring and empathy - skills that we want all children to develop, surely?

Toffeewhirl Sat 13-Aug-16 20:10:12

Re - that 'gay is catching' nonsense: a relative sniggered knowingly when I said my DS2 was really enjoying art, knitting and sewing at school, but hated football <sigh>.

ayeokthen Sat 13-Aug-16 20:11:25

Noone bloody brilliant! We have a girl and boy about a year apart, they have "girl's" toys and "boy's" toys but they both play with all of them.

Egosumquisum Sat 13-Aug-16 20:11:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VladmirsPoutine Sat 13-Aug-16 20:13:40

You should knock this on the head now. I've heard rumours that once the gay catches on it can be a lifelong condition with no treatment. Best of luck!

Alwaysanxiousmummy Sat 13-Aug-16 20:18:19

Yes, the toy in question is Shopkins. I'm glad to get some perspective on this as I was doubting myself. All I want is for both my DC to be happy and healthy. I don't care if they fit the stereotype of what society thinks they should/shouldn't do. I've a feeling convincing DH of this is going to be hard though!

TellMeSomethingNew Sat 13-Aug-16 20:19:32

It sounds like your "D"P doesn't care about the consequences of him playing with the toy, he just doesn't want a gay son

bigfriendlygiant Sat 13-Aug-16 20:25:21

I played with boys' toys and did sports throughout my childhood. I didn't grow a penis! Your husband is being silly.

IForgotWhoIAm Sat 13-Aug-16 20:25:44

Honestly, he will probably get teased, though possibly not for this. Kids are assholes to each other, they'll find something to tease each other for. If it's not this it'll be something else. Your DH's concern is a valid one, but YANBU to want to let your son continue playing.

What's the toy, if I might ask? My son (8) loves to play with dolls, and when I'm criticized I just respond with "so you believe we should only teach our daughters to look after their children? And here I thought we lived in 2016...."

Bagina Sat 13-Aug-16 20:28:21

My ds is the same and I just want him to play with what makes him happy; however, it's not wrong to be worried about him being teased. Even when he was 3 and 4 other kids of the same age would come to play and laugh at him having "girl's toys" in his room. Even the mum's would say " oh I think they're his sister's".

DearMrDilkington Sat 13-Aug-16 20:29:26

What the hell is a girls toy?! There all just toys?!hmm tell your dh to get a bloody grip!!

Everytimeref Sat 13-Aug-16 20:30:43

My uncle was horrified when I bought my DD1 a kitchen and DD2 a dolly pram for their first birthday.

Haggisfish Sat 13-Aug-16 20:31:17

Ds and dd both love shopkins here. It's just plastic collect able tat though isn't it?! Tell dh to fuck off.

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