To feel so upset and worried about this?

[yorkshapudding]

I went to the GP yesterday as I've noticed some bleeding after sex and discomfort during. She examined me and said my cervix looks "very angry" and inflamed and that she was referring me for an urgent colposcopy which will most likely include a biopsy.
She followed this up with "try not to worry" and rationally, I know there's no point in getting myself all worked up until I know whats actually going on but I'm a nervous wreck. Everything i've read mentions cervical cancer and i've banned myself from consulting Dr Google any further as it was clearly not helping me.

I have a 2.5 yo DD and every time I look at her I want to burst into tears. We're going to a party tonight (big family birthday) and I'm absolutely dreading having to put on a happy face and make small talk with everyone as I feel so emotional. There have been some fairly major health issues within the family over the last year or so that have caused a lot of stress (particularly for my Mum) so I don't want anyone to notice I'm out of sorts as i'd rather keep it to myself until I know more.

I can't tell if how I'm feeling is normal under these circumstances or if I need to get a grip. I'm generally very good at staying calm and being practical when it comes to family/friends health issues and I worked as a nurse until quite recently so I suppose I'm annoyed with myself for not handling this very well.

Can anyone who has had similar investigations tell me how did you cope with the 'not knowing' and the anxiety of waiting for those appointments to happen? I don't know what I'm posting for really because I know noone can give me any answers. I suppose I just needed to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

[mummabearjustgotfierce]

Hi
I was in exactly the same position as you this time last year. I started to have bleeding after sex and also a small amount of pain/discomfort exactly as u have described. When the GP examined me she used the same words that I had an "angry" cervix and referred me straight away to my local hospital for a colposcopy and biopsy. When i went for my appointment they run through a very brief medical history and asked me a few questions. I then lay on a sort of bed whilst they put my feet into stirrups and they then had a look at my cervix more in depth. There was another nurse there at the time and my dh was allowed in too. She then went on to say that she could see an abnormal area. She put some solution on it and then took 3 biopsies and said the results could take around 8 weeks. It was a little bit painful, not agony but it was a bit sore and lasted about 15 minutes. I was so so upset and like you i have a 2.5 yr old daughter and also a 5 year old daughter. I was literally distraught. I rang up after a week every couple of days and they had my results back in 2 weeks. I had CIN2. I went back this year for a check up and because my smear test had come back abnormal and had the same procedure again, and this time it was CIN1. I will be monitored for another year and have to go back. But its not cancer! Or anywhere near cancer. Im only 23 so it was a big thing as i started thinking of people like Jade Goody and terrifying myself. If you want any more info just say, i didn't know anyone who had been through it before and i was so terrified but it was nothing really to worry about, but i was exactly like u at the time.

[bonjournono]

A few years ago my smear test came back as abnormal with signs of advanced cell changes. I was terrified and thoughts of cervical cancer were in my mind constantly. I had to go for a biopsy and they then told me I urgently needed a procedure to remove the cells.

I was very scared. I was going through a tough time at work which made things even worse. During an appointment at a clinic (for something not directly related to this), a lovely nurse told me not to worry. She said that very few of these cell changes advance to cancer and getting any concerns checked out is the best thing to do. I had the cells removed and my next smear test came back clear. I'm fine now and hopefully will be for the future.

Don't worry OP, I know it sounds awful but this happens to lots of women every day and usually things work out fine. Try not to worry and enjoy life day to day. You can't change anything by worrying, you just affect your own happiness. Also try to do lots of things you enjoy to take your mind off of waiting.

[Sandyclaus]

It's easy to say but please don't worry. I was referred for a colposcopy after borderline changes on my smear and HPV a couple of years ago. I've had 3 over the years. They're a little uncomfortable (take paracetamol beforehand) but not painful and over quite quickly. I'm being monitored until it returns to normal.

I've had times of being terrified (when they sent me a letter to see a consultant rather than giving me my results over the phone) and times of being calm (at my last one when they said they technically could discharge me but wanted one more check) so all your feelings are completely normal. 2 of my tests / waiting for results were over christmas's too so was hard to be jolly whilst worrying. Stay away from Google - it's bloody frightening - and just try to think that this is early screening - designed to pick up even the slightest of tiny changes. Thousands of women have these every day and are absolutely fine.

Good luck - and try to keep calm.