To think my 2 year old has enough toys?

(39 Posts)
DickensyAnn Fri 12-Aug-16 14:34:56

I'm actually not sure if I'm BU - have nc as this is fairly identifying and am slightly concerned this will be seen as stealth boasty in one direction or the other but it's really not intended to be.

Essentially, I am not sure if my DS is hard done by/ lucky or somewhere in between. My DM thinks he is very very hard done by and we have actually just had a massive row about it which precipitated this thread. We've just been away visiting family at the beach for a couple of days and she was horrified that apart from a bucket and spade, we hadn't bought anything new for DS while we were away, which is on top of us only getting him one thing for his birthday last month. She says we are mean and relying on her and other family to 'fill in the gaps' - I don't think that is fair, as while they obviously buy him birthday and Christmas presents etc, we don't 'expect' them to buy him things at any other time, though occasionally they do.

She is very much a things = love person, though. My DBro and I were showered with 'stuff' our whole childhoods and while in many ways it was lovely it has definitely given me a skewed view on possessions - I remember loving going to stay with GPs etc as a child as I could only take a few bits with me and it was nice to be able to set everything out tidily etc. The pressure of constantly being admonished to take care of/ appreciate/ play with/ curate mountains and mountains of things, most of which we didn't ask for or really want is something I don't want my son to have. But I also don't want to swing too far the other way and stop him having a 'normal' amount of stuff. In addition, DH and I are in very different financial circumstances to my parents, and don't have the space or the money for buy as much. We prefer to spend what we do have on doing stuff like taking him swimming, or even little things like out for tea rather than new toys. Plus he goes to nursery 3 days a week and has loads of toys to play with there.

But - he does seem to have very little compared to friends' kids of similar ages and his cousins. They all have massive playrooms full of toys. So I do wonder if my mum has a point. So - here is a photo of probably 90% of his toys. As well as what is shown here he has:

-A small toy kitchen with plates, cups and wooden food that can be cut up.
-Some other 'musical' toys - a drum/ harmonica/ handbells etc.
-A scooter, a ball and a frisbee for taking to the park.
-A ride-on fire engine.
-Some bath toys and a bubble machine for the bath.
-Lots of drawing stuff, stickers and crayons.
-A folding dolls buggy.
-About 15 cuddly toys that he largely shows no interest in.
-Lots of books.

I am aware that some of his toys are getting a bit babyish - but everything here he still plays with. I'm more than happy to buy new things for him, but not just for the sake of it.

I don't know - I'm just feeling really shit about this and it's stupid as at the end of the day what matters is that he's happy and we aren't bankrupt. My DM always seems to know what buttons to push though to make me feel like an awful mum.

Ilovewineandcrisps Fri 12-Aug-16 14:38:10

There's loads there! I would say a normal amount for a 2 year old!

My 2 year old has a ridiculous amount of toys, but generally plays with a select few only!

Iguessyourestuckwithme Fri 12-Aug-16 14:41:25

I have recently done a big sort of dc 2.6 and dc 1's toys

We have 5 ikea fabric boxes
* Happyland - people, animals and houses
* Play garage and cars
* Dressing up - clothes and items ie doctors kit/builders set
* Kitchen and kitchen bits
* 2 dolls and a pushchair each

We have started buying more preschool items recently though - so we now have puzzles and board games, threading, button board, science things - magnifying glass/bug pots/tweezers

All our toys fit on / or in an IKEA 4 square expedit unit.

DickensyAnn Fri 12-Aug-16 14:47:48

Thanks both! That makes me feel a bit better. We really do have very skewed perspectives as a couple as DH had hardly any toys at all when he was little as his DM takes the view that toys are a waste of money for DC who are too young to remember (and constantly says so now). So I am seen as scrooge by own mother and utterly profligate by my MIL. Can't win...

AppleJac Fri 12-Aug-16 14:50:08

I dont think that is many toys at all.

But it depends on your lifestyle. If you are at home alot then those few toys are not going to occupy him long term but if you are out every day and do plenty of activites outside the home then thats different

Pearlman Fri 12-Aug-16 15:01:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sceptimum Fri 12-Aug-16 15:02:00

Seems like a good balance of useful toys to me. We rarely buy toys for ours unless we think it's something she would really like as we have so much stuff already but I know compared to some other people our toys are minimal. If your son is happy, why worry?

YouSay Fri 12-Aug-16 15:03:19

My two dc have way more then that but I wish they didn't. They only play with about 10%.

butterfly990 Fri 12-Aug-16 15:07:21

I used to go to second hand toy sales and pick up things there for the kids.

When they were older and things were tight I would ask them if you want a "flicker" (Scooter) it will be second hand. if you don't want second hand then you really don't want it.

They also got new things as well and old toys were passed on as well.

frenchknitting Fri 12-Aug-16 15:11:37

Love that piano.

I've got more than that, but to be honest it's mainly because I'm rubbish at storing away the more baby-ish things that he doesn't play with any more.

m0therofdragons Fri 12-Aug-16 15:20:33

My dc are now playing with a throw (as a cloak) and two knitted scarves. So glad we have toys hmm

Andromache77 Fri 12-Aug-16 15:27:18

That's plenty enough for a 2 year old. My DD is the same age and has about the same amount, plus books and colours (one set). Quite frankly, she doesn't even pay much attention to them most of the time, she likes to draw (sort of), watch cartoons (Aardman or Peppa Pig) and generally play with/around me or Daddy.
Of course my mum also thinks that DD should have more toys but she also sees that DD is not even using most of what she has, so even though she won't admit it she has stopped insisting as of late.
In my opinion children want to spend time with you, toys are just nice. Stick to your guns, stuff is not love, spending time with them is, so in my opinion you have set your priorities right.

HoggleHoggle Fri 12-Aug-16 15:32:25

Our ds's have a lot of the same toys op!

I don't think your ds is hard done by, but I equally don't think that's a huge number of toys. Quite a few of those are bigger toys which make it seem like more, but actually are quite 'one trick pony' in terms of how much they can be played with...the hammer and drill table for instance looks great but is actually boring as hell imo.

That being said, I can't believe your mum is saying these things based on what your ds has - I certainly wouldn't look at that pile and feel that you're being tight.

If you did want to add to it, my ds is a similar age and things he plays with all the time and can grow with him are
- mega box of Duplo
- tons of train track (wilko track is compatible with the well known brands), bridges, tunnels, and a couple of trains
- puzzles - I prefer ones from Orchard Toys

captainproton Fri 12-Aug-16 15:41:10

I've got 3 kids now and our house hasn't got any bigger. There are some toys we get given which I think are utter tat, and if they never play with it, gets given away or sold. I've told everyone we have no space and I will have to get rid of stuff. I have a 'if you break it, it goes in the bin' policy, no replacement. i just got the in-laws to pay for swimming lessons for the eldest 2 (2&4) for their birthdays. They've really enjoyed the swimming, yet another plastic toy not so much, so will definitely do that again. But I've also said if you do want to buy them toys they can keep them for when we visit. We're well stocked on outside toys, but indoor stuff will have to be requested by letter from the red suited FC, because I don't think all the stuff in their lives is healthy at all and they don't appreciate it. My DSS is 15 and has been overindulged by both parents and he hasn't got a clue about cost, he never uses half of what he's got and I can't have all 4 of them like that.

MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled Fri 12-Aug-16 15:42:52

I have often wondered about this. I go round to friends' houses and they have so so much more than my dc. We have two felt IKEA boxes and a small cupboard and that's it. I think it's more than enough. We buy a LOT of jigsaws (oh the joy) so we have a stack of those. What I have found useful is to routinely 'do out' the boxes. The boys always find something hidden and the bottom and some of the toys get a reprieve from being sent to the charity shop. It's also like the boys have new toys as they had often forgotten they had them. When we're clearing the boxes out we always have a (light hearted) conversation about how they are lucky to have so much stuff and that other children might not be as lucky. Then I get them to choose one toy to give away.

Amy214 Fri 12-Aug-16 15:46:40

My 2 year old has far too many toys, i'm planning on doing a clear out before christmas and even then she's only getting 3 things.

Paintedhandprints Fri 12-Aug-16 15:49:09

That's about the same as my ds1 who is 2.4yo. Including a hand-me-down Fisher price retro garage (boast), books, crayons, paints, cuddlys (again not interested in) and garden toys. He alternates garage and cars, wooden train track, toot toot race track, puzzles, colouring/stickers.
Basically vehicle mad. Anything else is played with minimally.
I think between Mil minimalism and dm extravagance you will strike the right balance.
(Ds2 has come along now so has taken up some space with playmat, jumperoo).
Perhaps a stock phrase of 'yes dear' while ignoring would work for both?

Mishegoss Fri 12-Aug-16 15:53:57

I think you've got it pretty much perfect. We have an embarrassing number of toys and probably 80% don't get played with. We're very guilty of spoiling our first, we got overexcited and wanted to buy everything. Now we have a house that resembles a preschool. I'm slowly trying to get rid of the stuff they don't play with and we're sticking to only buying toys for birthdays and xmas rather than just randomly at weekends because we want to.

NickyEds Fri 12-Aug-16 16:02:24

My 2.7 year old had quite a lot more than that but I think what you have is absolutely fine. Your mother is incredibly rude.

Artandco Fri 12-Aug-16 16:17:19

That seems like a lot of toys to me. I would maybe change some for some less babyish but otherwise seems fine.

How would many have space for any more?

yorkshapudding Fri 12-Aug-16 16:37:55

My DD (2.5) has way too many toys as we have family members who go a bit OTT buying presents for her. It's lovely of them and we do appreciate it but it poses a bit of a problem when it comes to storage. I'm planning on doing a big clear out before Christmas. I think it sounds like you've struck a good balance to be honest. Your DS certainly isn't deprived by any stretch of the imagination and your DM was very rude.

Sassypants82 Fri 12-Aug-16 16:43:15

He's got more than my 2year old who I would consider to probably have too much!

HmmHaa Fri 12-Aug-16 16:43:48

That seems fine to me - I think it is more about the variety of toys than the volume. Dad's haul isn't much more than that, tbh.

So things to build, things to read, things to nurture and things to make noise with!

DD is 2 and moving into a new phase of letters and numbers and puzzles and so on. We have just moved so I passed on a lot of her baby toys and am now buying imaginary play toys instead (hopefully less noisy!)

I have no issue with buying stuff for her, and welcome all presents yet I think I am in between what my friends' kids have. If you have enough space, fill yer boots, I say! But if not, as long as a child has variety in their life, and a feeling of having things of their own, I think volume is almost irrelevant.

Buddahbelly Fri 12-Aug-16 16:45:57

My mum, dad and in laws were all like your mum. We have a largish house so they see more space equals more toys needed.

At 1 point I ended up with an ikea kallax 16 box unit full of toys plus a garage, bike and scooter then a mini trampoline turned up. That was the last straw and I had a melt down over it all. Out of all that he played with his brio trains.

Mum and dad now just give money for swimming lessons/ clothes or gym classes. Inlaws won't hear a bad word said about toys which are always from the poundshop and end up in the bin anyway.

NickyEds Fri 12-Aug-16 16:49:53

We have a play room Artandco, which is getting full. Dp is the main toy buyer in our house, he was raised with very few toys and doesn't seem able to resist.

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