to not know wth I'm doing with my life at age 37...

(9 Posts)
mzstampy Fri 12-Aug-16 01:25:43

I'm enrolled to start university in september with a long term view of starting my own business in something I'm pretty good at but have no confidence to execute right now.

Meanwhile, I really want another child but my DS is 10 years old and I am estranged from my ex Husband so my only real possibility (aside from maybe meeting some hot nerd whom I can get along with) is a sperm donor after uni, when I'm 40???

Another goal is to be ridiculously healthy in abid to live a long ass life (like 100 years whilst being able to do one handed push ups) and I've been moving towards this by taking up juicing, a near to veggie lifestyle and doing yoga.

This makes me sound somewhat ambitious but meanwhile, I'm living week to week highly anxious that my time has already passed me by and this is my lot.

Am I being unreasonable to dream and seek out ways to make these dreams happen even if I've already wasted a big chunk of my life. confused

caroldecker Fri 12-Aug-16 01:42:50

At 37, you are about 40% through your life. However, if you take from 20 as you can't control much before that you are 17 years into 60 odd years of life, so plenty of time.

mzstampy Fri 12-Aug-16 02:44:14

well that makes it sound a lot better carol ty lol I was just looking at my goal list tonight and thought this is bonkers. To do: Complete degree. Start business. Have child via sperm donor. Become a vegan. Live until 100 years old. I thought I had to be BU reasonable somewhere here but no? grin

givingitago85 Fri 12-Aug-16 03:26:04

It would be unreasonable to stop dreaming. My life plans change daily and I have decided to be ok with that. It to be cliche but you only get one ride at life so sometimes it's best just to say 'stuff it' and do whatever you feel is right at the time.
It's awesome that you have plans and goals , life is pretty boring without them. Best of luck smile

pontificationcentral Fri 12-Aug-16 05:08:33

Ach, I'm 45 and going back to uni. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, so you're way ahead of me. I can't really be doing with world domination any more, so I need a new focus.
If I get too fixated on being so old with so much to do, and what an abject failure I am, I do find it helps to stop and look critically at the past. It reassures me that actually I've achieved quite a lot. This is just a direction change and I need to enjoy it, rather than fixate on my failures to date. That way madness lies.
You probably want to get a wiggle on with the kid thing though. Having broken the third one, I did ask dh about no. 4 but he won't play.
Have fun at uni!

ARumWithAView Fri 12-Aug-16 06:07:05

Read Julia Child's 'My Life In France'! It's the antidote to any 'life has passed me by' feelings.

Firstly, it's an awesome, happy, no-nonsense book and will make you want to eat lovely fresh well-prepared food. (Maybe it's not so much the juicing/vegetarian/yoga kind of diet -- lots of butter and red meat -- but it's still inspiring to read about someone taking the time to source the perfect ingredients, create a dish with care and effort, and then really enjoy it.)

Secondly, because all the stuff she did so well, and for which she became renowned, didn't start until her late thirties. She started cooking aged thirty-six... her massive, seminal cookbook wasn't published until she was forty-nine... her TV show didn't start until she was fifty-one. She won a bucketload of awards and respect, had a great time doing what she loved, had a happy marriage, travelled widely, and died aged ninety-two in a beautiful Californian town. YES PLEASE.

microscope Fri 12-Aug-16 06:26:17

Juicing isn't healthy. fruit juice has all the sugar and none of the fibre. it's very bad for you.

JessieMcJessie Fri 12-Aug-16 07:49:34

Are you doing a full 3 year degree, full time? You must have done pretty well in life so far to be able to fund that, congrats.

You might struggle a bit though to set up a business and have a baby after you graduate- you have had a child before so obviously know how all-consuming it is, but it does seem a bit odd to be going to such lengths to equip yourself to set up a business and then not be in a position to get on with that straight away while your degree is at its most current. Also my friends with young teenagers say that they also need a lot more time and attention at that age than you might have expected.

Also, 40 might be cutting it a bit fine fertility-wise. I started TTC with my husband at 41 and we ended up having to have IVF. You might want to think about having your AMH tested and Antral Follicle Count done now (you'd have to pay privately but not bank-breaking) to give you an idea of where you are.

Good luck.

pontificationcentral Sat 13-Aug-16 17:03:55

Microscope - except that juicing yourself includes all the fibre as you bung it all in.... But nice of you to drop by to encourage the op grin what a lovely soul. No comment on the actual point of the piece? No? grin

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