To be a bit pissed off about this?

[Syrianamal]

Moving into new house with 3 girls, one of them has a dp who will be staying a few nights a week (she's not contributing more for this and she can't stay at his). He is also coming over to move her in etc etc. I was kind of hoping that first night would be a girly bonding night?!

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Err ok

[Costacoffeeplease]

Did the others also expect a 'girly bonding' night, or did you just assume?

[ImYourMama]

You need a room mate agreement, 24 hours notice of guests, guests only twice a week, who does food shopping etc etc

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

I think you might be the only one hoping for that

No harm in her fella been there. Alcohol can still be drunk and bonding can still happen I suppose

[Kalispera]

It's perfectly normal to help your girlfriend move house.

Why not set aside tomorrow for a night out together?

[Lilaclily]

How well do you know these girls ?

[Missgraeme]

Maybe let him come over then u can ask him how much he he is putting into the 'pot' for the nights he will be staying over?

[ImperialBlether]

Is it a convent boarding house? Young women do have boyfriends. Their boyfriends do stay over. There's not much you can do except get on with him as best as you can.

[StillDrSethHazlittMD]

Sorry, epic fail from day one. If someone has someone staying over a few nights a week, then that person contributes more. Why should you pay for the water he'll use for a shower three mornings a week? Before we start talking about food (are you all buying separately)?

[Pinkheart5915]

Did everybody want/arrange a girls night for later or did you just assume?

What's wrong with a guy helping his girlfriend move in?

Is it like a student house? I own a couple of student houses and I don't make them pay more if partners stay over a few nights a week. All 3 tenants pay the same amount. People have partners

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

I virtually lived with DP at uni so I used to put in money for the metre and buy top ups for the fridge things they shared (milk, butter...).

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Ummmmm, what?! Yeah, I'd say yabu.

[Queenbean]

You need a room mate agreement, 24 hours notice of guests, guests only twice a week, who does food shopping etc etc

I'd tell you to fuck right off if you tried that with me!

[Syrianamal]

Yeah it was spoken about! Thanks for the patronising messages!

I am slightly resentful at the fact that the couple are not contributing more...

[Eatthecake]

I think you just assumed you would have a girlie night and the others maybe don't

Partners stay over. She shouldn't pay more rent for having someone stay over. Surely your be buying your own food any way so it won't effect that. If they watch films etc together well the girlfriend would be using the electric anyway

[Syrianamal]

I feel like she can have her cake and eat it (live with nice girls, bf over when she wants, she doesn't go to his)...

[Eatthecake]

Have her cake and eat it. What? She lives with girls pays rent and has he boyfriend stay over in the place she pays rents for

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

He uses the water multiple times a week so he should contribute.

[LewisAndClark]

He needs to contribute.

[Eatthecake]

I never understand the water arguement tbh, oh no he has a shower twice a week. So everybody has to pay extra if they ever have anybody stay over and they use water? What about 1 tenant that has a shower for 10 minutes v another tenant that showers for 20 minutes like my DD every morning, does the 10 minute shower person pay less water too?

Maybe they will take showers together

[bluebeck]

Have you posted about this before?

I think you were advised then that you needed to sort out the issue of the boyfriend staying over 4/5 times a week. If he isn't paying his way he doesn't get to stay.

I am surprised you are going ahead with it - everyone advised you against it!!

[Costacoffeeplease]

You're three individuals, not a family, you all have your own lives to live - maybe you'll have a boyfriend during the tenancy and he'll stay over?

[Andylion]

OP, I see nothing wrong with the idea of getting to know each the first night you move in together. I also see nothing wrong with her boyfriend helping her move in. I think you are just different people.
I am surprised some many pp have said he shouldn't contribute. From day one, you are being told that he will be staying over "few nights a week". Fine, then he should contribute. How was this arranged, by the way? Was it announced or were you and the other flatmate asked? Were you given any choice at all?
I fully understand your cake-and-eat-it-too comment.