About flatmates?

(83 Posts)
Bearasarahus Wed 10-Aug-16 18:59:44

Just moved in with two nice flatmates, never met them before but like them. We agreed to cook together so have done a weekly shop so far. The issue is that we have different preferences regarding meat (I'm happy to spend a bit more and get good stuff) but they're not bothered. Also they buy fizzy drinks and biscuits which I don't love but happy to suck that one up!

I also suggested that we meal plan but they're not bothered and just buy whatever and decide what they fancy that night. To me that kind of defeats the point of meal planning and weekly shopping!

Im worried one of them took offence when I mentioned (I hope politely!) about the ethical meat thing...

When I cook for myself though (and buy the ingredients) they're happy to eat it...

Should I just suggest I do my own thing?

Bearasarahus Wed 10-Aug-16 19:00:26

We only moved in together a week ago btw but has been quite full-on

MadHattersWineParty Wed 10-Aug-16 19:03:47

God, I don't think you'll want to be tied to all cooking together, for eachother! Noooooooo.

It'll never work.

Amelie10 Wed 10-Aug-16 19:04:39

just don't do the meal planning with them, best to each prepare your own meals. Also just don't start with the ethical stuff, not your place to go lecturing people about that.

Bearasarahus Wed 10-Aug-16 19:05:53

I wasn't lecturing, just stating a preference blush

Queenbean Wed 10-Aug-16 19:07:39

They're not your wife, do your own thing ;)

Just step away from labelling stuff - "Jo's banana" in pen on the banana, that kind of stuff

MadHattersWineParty Wed 10-Aug-16 19:08:51

Do you mean, meat that's a bit pricier/organic/from the UK? I like my meat 'nice' too. By that I mean I don't buy shite sausages or Birdseye burgers hangover chicken dippers ok ,I buy from the local butcher, etc.

Occasionally cook for eachother sure, but gawd that's a lot of stress every night!

milpool Wed 10-Aug-16 19:09:25

That sounds like hard work. Fuck that, just sort yourself out!

Roussette Wed 10-Aug-16 19:09:33

No no no! Don't share cooking, total 'mare!

choccyspread Wed 10-Aug-16 19:10:28

I live with flatmates. We all just cook for ourselves with the occasional meal together at weekends

99GBPChargeToUseMyPostsJournos Wed 10-Aug-16 19:11:08

If you want to eat together to share costs, but they don't want to meal plan, why don't you take turns to shop and cook. OK, that means you might have to eat meat that isn't as ethical as you'd like, but they wouldn't have to pay the costs for your choice?

Bearasarahus Wed 10-Aug-16 19:13:13

Yeah exactly meat that's not rubbish basically grin

I would be happier if we meal planned or at least really loosely tried to, but I'm finding it stressful to just shove loads of stuff in a trolley (which I won't eat), pay a third and then still have to think about what's for dinner - I'm not a control freak at all but hoped that this system might make it easier on us all, not harder!

VladmirsPoutine Wed 10-Aug-16 19:15:01

Just do your own thing. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Amelie10 Wed 10-Aug-16 19:17:10

Is there space for another small fridge or freezer. When I lived with flat mates i had a fridge / freezer of my own and just stored extra portions. Saved wasting items that's just too much for one person.

cexuwaleozbu Wed 10-Aug-16 19:18:24

I think trying to share cooking on a rota is doomed to failure.

You will spend on decent quality food on your turns, and will get fed crap in return when it is their go.

Not sure it's worth it.

Queenbean Wed 10-Aug-16 19:19:52

I'd have hated to do this when I flat shared -what happens on the nights you just end up getting lashed with colleagues? And then you get a text from your housemate saying "hurry up, it's your turn to cook organic lentil quinoa pie"

Nooooo waaaaayyyyyyy

CatNip2 Wed 10-Aug-16 19:21:14

Look I like quality stuff, I am old I can afford it, but I don't want to meal plan, I can think of nothing worse. Who wants shepherds pie because you have planned it when you really fancy a crab salad.

Do your own shit, it's easier.

ScarletForYa Wed 10-Aug-16 19:22:52

Is this your first time out of home OP?

They're your flatmates, not family. Personally I'd hate to be tied down to having to meal plan and shop with a flatmate.

Just do your own thing or you'll end up frustrated and you'll annoy them.

PotOfYoghurt Wed 10-Aug-16 19:23:27

No way. What if you want to go see a movie after work at short notice?

Have your own shelf in the fridge and freezer and your own cupboard.

You could cook together at the weekends or have a set night a week as 'flat dinner night'.

Otherwise it's going to breed resentment and that's never a good atmosphere for a home.

pictish Wed 10-Aug-16 19:25:44

It's a crap arrangement that simply will not work. You will all end up falling out about it.
Make your own food.

yorkshapudding Wed 10-Aug-16 19:32:58

It's a nice idea in theory, but in practice it's not going to work. Either agree you'll all do your own thing or maybe suggest that you all have a meal together (either take turns or cook the meal together) once a week. Having to shop together every week, meal plan based on eveeybodys schedule and preferences, and then eat together every night would do my head in. It's far to restricting.

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 10-Aug-16 19:41:22

Definitely do your own thing. And stop offering to cook for them!

If you get a reputation as the dogsbody flatmate, you will struggle to throw it off - if you're the one who always plans and remembers to buy essentials, there's no incentive for them to do it, is there? Likewise if you cook for them.

Who was it who suggested cooking together, out of interest? Was it you?

Bearasarahus Wed 10-Aug-16 19:45:44

They suggested cooking together and I agreed - how should I back out of it?

Judydreamsofhorses Wed 10-Aug-16 19:45:48

Don't do the shopping together thing unless you are friends, not flatmates, and plan to eat together every single night. Which you won't. When I lived with flatmates we'd sometimes cook/eat together, but it was far more an "oh, are you in tonight, how about I do X and we share a bottle of wine?" and not a planned in advance thing. Other nights people would be out, get in late, not hungry or whatever.

My partner and I always meal-plan and shop together, but even then there are nights when I'll decide to go out with a friend from work, he'll decide to have a pub tea before the football, or we both think "fuck it" and decide to order a pizza.

Hrafnkel Wed 10-Aug-16 19:46:09

Living with a friend from school for the first time, she wanted this, but there was no way - I wanted to decide if, when and what I ate. Simples.

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