to bitterly resent a former colleague?

(6 Posts)
DontBuyANewMumCashmere Wed 10-Aug-16 17:44:13

Colleague joined after me. Was not thick but not the smartest person I'd ever met. Was not charming or witty, and on occasion downright surly and rude.
I got passed over for a much-desired post, for understandable reasons, and was advised to apply again in the future.
She later got a different role in the same department. Not the role/placement I was going for, so I can't even say she 'nabbed' my job.

I then moved and never saw her again.
I've since found she's been promoted and I am genuinely gutted.

Fwiw she is definitely capable of the job.
I have since left and am on a career break, probably never to return again.
I am a SAHM with a gorgeous little one and wouldn't change this for the world.
I have recently got into some voluntary work that I'm really chuffed about and hope to continue it for some time.

Why am I still gutted she's got a job I don't want?! confused blush
Someone give me a slap...

lightcola Wed 10-Aug-16 17:47:47

Definite jealousy which is ok. You've put your career on hold which you're happy about but I think deep down you resent this woman for moving ahead of you on the career ladder. I think it's ok to feel that way, as long as she doesn't know you do.

i8sum314 Wed 10-Aug-16 17:56:34

Are you only telling yourself your happy to be a sahm?

If you'd got the job, would you have stayed in the work place?

If you're working hard to convince yourself you're happy when deep down you'd have preferred to have stayed then that is going to leak out in all sorts of ways. brew

It's happened to me too. I feel your pain.

derxa Wed 10-Aug-16 17:58:24

I understand. Someone was jealous of my position in the organisation I worked in. I left and now she has the same position. I can't help resenting her and thinking I was much better than her blush

228agreenend Wed 10-Aug-16 18:08:00

I understand where you are coming from, although can't fully explain it.

Maybe you feel you didn't get the recognition or respect you deserve. Maybe you feel she doesn't deserve this job. Maybe you think that someone lower down the career leader shouldn't have been elevated up. Maybe, although you are perfectly happy with being a mum etc, there's a slight 'what if' twinge?

It's a funny, bitter-sweet emotion.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Wed 10-Aug-16 18:11:03

i8sum314 grin (grin is for your name, not what you said)
I am genuinely happy being a SAHM. The roles we are in aren't great for having kids anyway, and when I planned to have kids I was actually hoping to be able to leave which I am luckily able to.
I am very happy in life.

I think the answer is as derxa says, that think I was/would have been better than her. I just never got the chance to prove it.

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