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AIBU?

To not want a piano?

20 replies

SqueakyCyclops · 07/08/2016 20:09

SIL is getting rid of her piano. I didn't realise but DH said we would take it.

We have no space for it and an open plan lounge/diner so there would be no escape from it. DD is only 4 and we can't afford lessons.

DH thinks I'm being ungrateful and we should have it as it's an 'heirloom' from his side of the family (has only been owned by SIL so there is no history related to DH)

Will it be one more thing that gathers dust in our already cluttered house? Am I depriving DD of the chance of becoming musically able? Am i ungrateful and should take it just because it's free (DH thinks so)

SIL knows I don't want it as I said no when it came up in conversation and I didn't realise DH had already said yes.

Me and DH have just had a massive row over it. I'm confused and upset, over a piano???

OP posts:

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JenniferYellowHat1980 · 07/08/2016 20:35

As for your DD and musical ability - I struggled to learn an instrument in bass clef without knowing treble and my way around a keyboard, but I can't afford piano lessons so the DCs will have a keyboard to learn the basics on then whatever instrument they choose.

Liara · 07/08/2016 20:40

It's a toughie. OTOH it can be annoying taking up space with something that is never used, OTOH a piano really is great for children's musical development (even if they move on to a different instrument, piano is the basic one).

I have 2 dc, and two pianos, and they are in daily use. But then dh can teach them, so I guess it's different.

topcat2014 · 07/08/2016 20:44

I have had lessons (since the dawn of time..) and am teaching DD. There are some good childrens teaching books, which actually don't really require any parental ability as such.

A lot cheaper than lessons.

the book I am using is called progressive piano lessons, and is colourful with cartoon type characters in it - so nice and 'friendly'

SpaceDinosaur · 07/08/2016 20:48

I'm very envious.

DH owns a piano but it lives at his parent's as we live in a middle floor flat. I would love for our baby to have a piano in the house. We both play.

BrendaFurlong · 07/08/2016 20:52

If it's relatively new (less than 40 years) I'd take it and make room for it. If it's older I'd say a resounding no. I just had to upgrade for DD1 from my 'family' piano to something modern and decent and it's cost £££ but she had many years of pleasure from the old one until the fact it couldn't be tuned to concert pitch finally made my mind up for me. Yes it does take over the house a bit but it's been worth it.

foxessocks · 07/08/2016 20:59

My parents have my old piano still and have suggested we take it many times but we can't work out where to put it! I'd love to have it one day though if we can figure it out because I'd like to play again and if dd wants to then great. She's only 2.5 at the moment though!

justilou · 07/08/2016 21:24

Perhaps you could convince SIL to sell it and then tell DH that she had an offer too good to refuse?

SqueakyCyclops · 07/08/2016 21:29

Neither of us can play, I think if at least one of us could then I wouldn't be so reluctant. I have images of my 2 DC bashing away on the keys all the time, just to make noise, and there is nowhere in the house to go to escape.

OP posts:

buffalogrumble · 07/08/2016 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SqueakyCyclops · 07/08/2016 21:31

I'm not sure how old it is, it looks pretty old to be honest. It hasn't been played for at least 10 years. MIL suggested selling it but SIL doesn't think it's worth much

OP posts:

ElfAndSafetyBored · 07/08/2016 22:31

I can't get rid of the piano I had off my MIL (back when I thought I wanted to learn). I can't play it 8 years on, it's gathering dust, no ones wants it. It's big, heavy and just taking up room. I am thinking of taking it into the garden and setting light to it.

The piano stool is useful for storage, that's the best I can say about it.

If you don't want SIL's piano don't have it. It you don't really want it now, imagine in a year or two time.

yomellamoHelly · 08/08/2016 20:03

We had to pay someone to take my mum's old piano away when we cleared her flat. No-one would take it even for free. Worth thinking about if you do accept it "on a trial basis".

Blankiefan · 08/08/2016 20:09

If you don't want it, don't take it. Your life / your dc's life will be no different than before you were "offered" strong armed into taking it.

I bought a piano last year and am loving having it and enjoying dd banging away on it. But I played as a kid and am re-teaching myself. But that's not you. It sounds like a romantic notion to have it in order to enrich your kids lives rather than a realistic thing for your family.

Don't be bullied into it. DC will learn the recorder / ukulele at school. If they show interest later, you can provide later.

There's bugger all value in the second hand piano market. You can pick one up in a few years for a couple of hundred quid max.

LewisAndClark · 08/08/2016 20:12

If it's old and hasn't been played for ten years then it's probably had it.

Having said that I think every home should have a piano. But just not this one.

almostthirty · 08/08/2016 20:14

I am very would love a piano but can't afford one. But if you have no space and wouldn't use or enjoy it what's the point in having one?

AgentProvocateur · 08/08/2016 20:18

I reluctantly took the "family" piano when DS1 was four and my mum was moving house. DS is now 22 and going into his final year of a music degree at a conservatoire. And neither DH nor I play.

MrPony · 08/08/2016 20:21

I'd be thinking the same as you op.

The idea of what could be sounds lovely but I'm willing to bet the reality is a headache.

Sgtmajormummy · 08/08/2016 20:42

Having a piano can often become a source of resentment between parents and children....
"We bought you one and you gave it up after a year!" "i was forced to learn and hated it."
"dc1 got lessons because they're the favourite, but I would have been better."
"Why do you want to learn the sax when there's a perfectly good piano sitting there gathering dust?"

The lucky few who really take to it are far outweighed by the regretful many.
In our case we had a good digital piano for two years until DS showed he was serious and skillful enough to justify the investment. Then we bought an excellent (and beautiful) second hand piano for a song. We'll no doubt buy another one for DS's student house for a similar price. People are desperate to sell off/pass on even good instruments. They're going the same way as books, unfortunately.

Why settle for a dubious one?
Wait until your DC show some musical interest, keep their options open and then decide how to encourage them.

redexpat · 08/08/2016 20:43

Could you afford to have it stored?

JellyBelly89 · 08/08/2016 20:50

Unless you're going to hire professional movers I wouldn't bother. Mine cost £300 to move 16 miles. So many old pianos are rubbish as they've not been maintained. Mine is only worth a few hundred but it's in good nick and I love it. Hence paying a few hundred to shift it from Mum's to our house.

If normal people try to move a piano odds are they will damage it and often irreparably. Mine was dropped on its front once (can tell from pedals) but thankfully the inside is fine. Often not the case though.

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