To ask when is too soon

(4 Posts)
maybeitsmeanttobe Sun 07-Aug-16 01:29:20

I've NC for this...

I have just come in from a night out consoling a friend and I'm interested to hear people's thoughts on this...

My friend had her DS with her then partner in 2011 and married him in a lavish ceremony in 2012. She went on to have her DD at the end of 2013. About 4 months after her DD was born she found out DH had been having an affair (he said it was just texts messages but there was evidence that he had indeed been sleeping with another woman) he worked away a lot and it was someone he'd met while working away. They tried to keep marriage together but it fell apart not long after all this surfaced.

Anyway, he met someone else and was engaged within a year and married in May this year, less than two years after his marriage to my friend broke down. The woman he's married is the spitting image of my friend. He also refers to new wife as "the absolute love of my life"

My friend is distraught about this as she feels like she's given birth to his children and he thinks nothing of her. She's upset that she thinks he was engaged and married so quickly (in her eyes) I've sat all night and listened to her and consoled her.

AIBU to ask if to be engaged to another woman less than a year after cheating on your wife is a bit off or strange? genuinely curious as I've no experience of this kind of thing

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 07-Aug-16 02:31:30

He sounds like an utter knob, but from my experiences a lot of men remarry very quickly after divorce/death.

As for it being too soon for them as a couple? Only they can know that. Cheating is obviously despicable, but your friend really doesn't know what their relationship is, and I doubt he would have considered her, as technically, it's not her business whether he genuinely loves his wife or not.

If she's coming from the POV of the DC, that I can agree with.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sun 07-Aug-16 03:57:49

He's probably saying half that stuff in the hope it will get back to your friend. He sounds absolutely horrible.

I don't think it's normal to remarry that quickly but I also don't think it's normal to cheat on your pregnant (or otherwise) partner. Your friend and the new wife both have my sympathy.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 07-Aug-16 04:18:38

Agree that he sounds like a knob.

I feel for your poor friend, but there is no normal where these things (and knobs) are concerned. Was the woman he had the affair with the one he married? Because if it was, then he waited a reasonable while, in comparison to some people who get married within weeks of the divorce!

I'd feel sorry for his new wife as well, tbh (if she wasn't the OW) - his track record sucks, so chances of him staying faithful to her isn't high.

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