......to tell my friend that as a best man a £50 wedding gift is reasonable?

(81 Posts)
Ronagtl Sat 06-Aug-16 19:31:57

It's been a while since I was buying gifts for a wedding so seeking views please! Friend of mine is being best man later this year and is unsure what would would be reasonable to spend on a gift for the couple. It's a fairly traditional affair with a pretty established couple. No mad stag do in ibiza planned that I'm aware of....Friend is just retired so not rolling in it and will have hotel, travelling and other ancillary wedding costs I assume. I thought £50 would be very generous....views?

icelollycraving Sat 06-Aug-16 19:33:43

Spend what you can afford. When you need to spend a lot to attend a wedding, people need to realise that most people have a total budget.

Ronagtl Sat 06-Aug-16 19:36:53

Thanks icelolly. I'll mention thinking about the total budget as a guide. If that's low-ish and he's happy to spend more, maybe £75 would be reasonable?

inlectorecumbit Sat 06-Aug-16 19:37:48

mmm that is the least amount l would spend as a wedding guest.
However if that is all he can afford he should go for it

NotYoda Sat 06-Aug-16 19:41:32

That's a reasonable amount.

hollyisalovelyname Sat 06-Aug-16 19:42:05

As a best man I would think he would spend more.
But I'm Irish smile

BarbaraofSeville Sat 06-Aug-16 19:42:43

£50 is more than enough - it's perfectly generous and he shouldn't feel bad for giving that amount. Anyone saying it's not enough obviously doesn't have very realistic expectations about what average people can afford.

MrsHulk Sat 06-Aug-16 19:43:06

£50 is absolutely fine

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 06-Aug-16 19:43:17

I think it's worth considering how much his attendance will cost the B&G. How expensive is the venue? Are they paying for suit hire? Are they likely to give him a gift? Is he taking a partner or guest?

29redshoes Sat 06-Aug-16 19:43:45

I usually spend £50 on a wedding gift, I think that's fine. Maybe a bit more as he's best man but only if he can afford it.

When I got married I was pleased with any and every gift. It's a cliche but it really is the thought that counts IMO. The only instance where I was a tiny bit hurt was one guest who didn't even get us a card (wedding in her home town, no expensive travel/accommodation required).

Ronagtl Sat 06-Aug-16 19:44:00

Thanks all! Will report back to him!

Balletgirlmum Sat 06-Aug-16 19:44:50

Gosh yes £50 is very generous. Absolutely fine for a best man (a normal friend/family member eg cousin I'd be looking to spend about £30.

usual Sat 06-Aug-16 19:46:56

I think 50 quid is more than enough and what the B and G are spending on their wedding has no bearing on what he spends on a gift.

Skittlesss Sat 06-Aug-16 19:48:19

£50 is fine and it shouldn't matter what his attendance is costing the bride and groom. They didn't ask him to go so they could get a load of cash off him!

Goingtobeawesome Sat 06-Aug-16 19:49:42

We've only really had to buy for cousins and DH gives them £30.

Ronagtl Sat 06-Aug-16 19:50:41

Testingtesting- I'm not sure what those arrangements are, but will mention that it's something to consider - i agree usual that it shouldn't determine his spend. Cheers all!

PurpleDaisies Sat 06-Aug-16 19:51:53

I think it's worth considering how much his attendance will cost the B&G.

No he shouldn't. confused

Theyve asked him to be there because he's the husband's best friend, not to get a present in return. £50 is more than acceptable to spend.

flowery Sat 06-Aug-16 19:53:41

Depends how much he can afford and how much he'd usually spend. Presumably it's someone he's very close to, as he's best man. So it would be usual to spend a bit more than he would on, say, a less close friend or a distant cousin.

BarbaraofSeville Sat 06-Aug-16 19:53:44

So are you saying that guests should pay towards a big/fancy wedding if the B&G choose to have one, Testing?

That's ridiculous. If they have a cheap and cheerful registry office/pub with buffet afterwards, they should expect smaller gifts than if they have the big country house with 3 course posh food affair?

featherpillow Sat 06-Aug-16 19:57:48

I agree. £50 is very generous.

Where the B&G choose to get married, shouldn't impact on the gift they receive.

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys Sat 06-Aug-16 19:58:08

Is there some sort of "etiquette" on how much you should spend on the bride and groom? It sure feels that way.

NotYoda Sat 06-Aug-16 19:58:23

I agree Purple

The transaction should not be a financial one. B&G hold a wedding and spend what they can afford on it. Guests turn up with a thoughtful gift and are helpful and nice to them. That's the "transaction", IMO

pasturesgreen Sat 06-Aug-16 20:01:19

Of course he should spend what he's comfortable with/can afford.

Personally £50 Is at the very bottom tier of what I'd spend on a wedding gift, and I'd certainly try and give more if I had a role in the ceremony, like your friend has, but I realise I'm very much in a minority here.

<silently backs out of thread>

woahthehokeycokey Sat 06-Aug-16 20:01:25

£50 is average for weddings around here. We got given that from our best man last year and we give the same!! My best friend from school and her husband gave £15 between them and they both work full time and have 4 holidays a year, but then again you never know someone's circumstances, and what is the right amount for one person isn't the right amount for another. Personally we are a one income family and not hugely well off as I'm a stay at home mum and we give £50 per wedding!

DoitotmeSheldon Sat 06-Aug-16 20:05:31

Well it's all relative really isn't it? One person might think £50 is a small amount, another will see £50 as a huge amount, it depends on the amount you have available.
At the end of the day it all comes down to making the day happy and memorable for your friends and giving a thoughtful gift which really means a lot to the couple.

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