Working from home nightmare(54 Posts)
So, my husband works from home 9-6 monday to friday. Thats fine. its great actually.
Ive recently graduated and am in the process of going freelance as a designer.
I might get outed for this as its so specific but Ive got to the point where I dont really care tbh.
The issues I have are
1) Other peoples children regularly knocking on the front door to ask for my kids to come out to play (My kids arent allowed off the property/garden for safety issues DTGs are 5 and DS is 7)
I don't mid the above so much but when its every day after school and they're knocking on after 5-6 o clock when we as a family sit down to tea, have chill time/family time and bedtime routine, it kind've pisses me off.
Having said that, when my kids are at my MILs, they still knock on, repeatedly (are they home yet?) even if I tell them they're not in, and no they wont be coming out to play once they're home as it will be family time/bath and bed time.
This issue really grates on me, because the little time I do get to work on my freelancing stuff is taken up with kids knocking on the door constantly. I could not answer the door, but its loud, my house isnt that big, and it could be an adult that needs a car moving, or the postman or whatever.
2) Why is it that if people know you work from home, they think your hours are flexible/optional/not real work (delete as appropriate)
I take my work quite seriously. I'm driven and ambitious. I want that for my children (I want them to grow up to be strong, independent and ambitious adults)
I've managed a total of 13 hours solid work this week after being let down on promised babysitting and someone else begging for childcare because they had an emergency situation. Fine. Id planned to carry on working in the evening after they'd come back to collect their kids but they were 2 hours later than they said so by the time Id gotten home, it was basically bed time.
am I being unreasonable or just being a spoilt brat?!
to put the record straight though, DH and MIL are amazing and really supportive of my work.
It just feels like some people think that if you have more than one child, you have no right to be ambitious at all.
Can you put post-it note on the door saying "Mini Peppas aren't at home and/or won't be coming out to play. Please do not knock"? And then blast them if they do?
That sounds frustrating. Are you putting your kids in childcare whilst you're working? If you still had the kids I would think that your working at home was flexible/optional/not real work but that's because I know I can't accomplish much work with 3 kids around!
"they're knocking on after 5-6 o clock when we as a family sit down to tea, have chill time/family time and bedtime routine"
That doesn't sound like a working from home issue then? It's just irritating- it's not happening because you work from home- you'd be there anyway.
Hi OP. I'm a freelancer working from home with kids so I feel your pain but unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it bar refusing to do childcare and telling the neighbourhood kids to stop knocking.
I find it impossible to get anything much done during the day while the kids are up and about, I might manage some quick research and planning while they are having their nap (as they are still young enough that they nap for about 90 minutes every day). My dh takes them to visit MIL for 2 hours twice a week so I can get some work done but apart from that, the bulk of my work is done early in the morning befor ethe kids get up or at night after everyone else has gone to bed. I usually stay up 1 or 2 nights a week and can work until 2-3 am. It's not practical but it works for me and is lovely and quiet.
Maybe it's me, but I don't understand the full point of your post.
I get that it's annoying having kids knocking on your door. I'm not sure what you can do if they won't listen, but if your DH works from home, why can't he get up and answer the door sometimes?
I don't understand the second point. Who has let you down? Whose children did you have for 2 hours and who was it that collected them? Are these points related or just general gripes about working from home?
I agree that working from home has pitfalls. I can work from him if i choose. DH has been a SAHP for a year and I find it difficult to work knowing he's downstairs and he feels he has to creep around to not disturb me. Working at home during the school holidays is nigh on impossible so I go into my office.
And yes to the assumption that you can drop everything to cover sickness etc. I have a very flexible job and used to end up covering the kids being ill more often than DH because he was worried about the impact on his work. Is it hits DH who assumes you can drop everything, or others?
Actually, if you never let the children play anywhere else, I don't understand why the neighbours' children keep knocking? Have they not got the message?
Regarding your point 1 - surely if it is only after school then you've had a good chunk of time - say 9am-3pm to get work done? Or is it more because of the holidays? And if the latter - then if you are trying to work then surely the children need to be in a holiday club?
AGree with PP, this doesn't really sound like a WFH issue. It's more of a "my neighbours kids are driving me mental" issue.
Tell them your DC are not allowed to play out and that they are not to call again, if they do you will have to speak to their parents about it.
I do sympathise. I moved house over similar issues when I lived in a cul de sac where I was considered "up myself" because I wouldn't allow DD aged 3 to play out.
I permanently work from home. If I'm working (and not expecting parcels etc) I don't answer the door. It took a little while to retrain everyone but now no one bothers me. Same with errands a bland. No sorry I'm working. No more discussion.
Bit of a brat really. You do come across as a little puffed up with self important in your post I'm sorry to say.
Kids calling after tea is normal.
Another who doesn't understand.
Are you expecting the neighbourhood children to understand the concept of working from home? Would you prefer your children not to have friends?
You don't have to comply with them of course, but they're not doing anything out of the ordinary by chapping the door.
If your kids aren't ever allowed out to play with the others, tell the neighbouring kids once and for all or they'll keep asking. They just see playmate potential. It's natural for them to ask.
If the children are continually pestering you then you need to bite the bullet, tell their parents, and ask them to explain to their children when 'visiting hours' are and when your DC are available to play. It sounds like they are young enough to still be asking their parents if it is OK for them to go around to your house. The parents could easily tell them 'No, you need to wait until 6.30 so they can finish eating dinner', or even 'Their parents are working from home, why don't I phone and ask if their children can come over here to play for an hour or so?'.
regarding the children, just be firm.
Do not knock again. Or I will go to your parents.
If there is a time that these kids are allowed onto your property to play with your children - tell them. eg You can call round on Saturday after 11am. Do not come back before then or you will not be allowed to play on Saturday.
You have to be very clear with young children. Not nasty, just very very clear. Tell them exactly what is and is not allowed.
This is pestering. It's like when your own children do the whole can I (no) can I (no) can I (no) can I (no) can I (OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ASKING!!!) that's all it is. Be very clear and very firm. And if they carry on, march them back home and tell the parent to back you up on this.
My MIL does a large chunk for me. She loves having the kids and often offers to take them for me. For which I a hugely greatful and really do appreciate her. I think Im one of the lucky ones with my MIL.
Summer holidays wise, DH is taking the odd monday and friday for me to work and yes, during term time, I get the 9-3 block.
DM had promised when I started this venture to help out. Promises to take the kids to the zoo or take them on a mini break (after telling the kids this) have been forgotten or put to one side or cancelled.
Whatishostory - they were a friends children and Im a bugger for not saying no! I didnt mid looking after them, it was the assumption that I would and the being late back and the "I know ur working but...."
Judi Coolibar....no they havent got the message :-(
And Mrs CambellBlack - If we could afford childcare, they would be in summer club 2-3 days a week, but we cant afford it yet as Im not making enough money to pay the bills because I dont get enough time to complete projects that are well paid!
Swings and roundabouts!!
I'm similarly confused.
DH has been working at home for quite a while now - what does he say about the friendly kids? Have they only just started calling now you're home, or have you only just started caring about it?
How come they don't visit until tea-time? I'd have expected them to call when they get home - about 4pm - and pop off home when their tea's ready, about 6pm.
All your DC are school age. How come you have so little time for your work? OK, it's the school holidays - but who did the childcare during the last holidays?
It is very true that other people tend not to take WFM seriously - whether you're female or male - and it's necessary to set boundaries. It's very surprising you haven't thought about this, given your husband's been doing it for ages.
Cross-posted. You didn't answer all my queries, but it's blindingly obvious that your husband's attitude is a bigger problem than the kids down the street.
GarlicMistake Why is my husbands attitude the problem? Its not!! Where on earth did you get that assumption from?!
Sorry, I misread DM as DH had promised to take them out.
Has he never mentioned the friendly kids before?
OP I would imagine it's because you say your DH is working from home too but you don't mention him ever answering he door. Therefore leading to us wondering whether he sees childcare, and all things child-rated, being your job not his. Otherwise surely he would answer the door to the kids and his work would also be disrupted yet you make no mention of this.
Hes just told one to leave because of how cheeky he was being (As DH was trying to get our 3 organised to go to the beach so I can do some work)
He's getting annoyed with it too becasue when Im not home (either out with the kids or working) there are still kids who repeatedly knock even when theyve been told that ours are not home and wont be until such n such time. And even then, after a long day out, I dont want my kids going out after 6pm, its family time and wind down time in my opinion.
I may be stuck in my ways or old fashioned, but what spare time I do have, I like to spend it with my kids and hubby, doing house work or doing my freelance work. If my kids are playing with each other in the house and are happy, I take that opportunity to do house work or read a book.
IMO my kids arent old enough to go playing on the streets, and I dont want every other kid within a half a mile radius coming to play in my gardens because I have a trampoline in the back and a tree swing in the front.
Weve had it even when our kids arent home, but theyve just come into the garden to play on the swing anyway!!
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