Please talk me off the ledge!

(22 Posts)
MeMeMyMyandMine Sat 06-Aug-16 10:12:15

I had a shit morning, I just want to hide under covers, cry and eat junk. Just can't deal with even small stresses, I suffer from anxiety and always feel like everything is my fault, I've ruined everybody's life. Even though deep down I know nothing big has happened I still feel like shit and the worst person ever. I should just leave and everyone would be better off. Basically I received a phone call from someone who was rude to me and then hung up. Also, DH was running late from work so there was a lot of rushing around, stress, swearing (at himself but still) etc. The house is a mess, I don't want to go out and see people, I want to just leave and close the door and hide in a cave somewhere.

If someone could just spare a few encouraging words, I would feel a bit better. Tbh, the only thing keeping me sort of sane right now and not just walking out is the big tub of ice cream and pack of biscuits and of course my DS who is amazing and deserves better. Thank you. Sorry.

NavyandWhite Sat 06-Aug-16 10:16:16

Don't be sorry.

Have a shower then sit outside with a cup of tea if the weather permits.

Who was rude to you?

PuntasticUsername Sat 06-Aug-16 10:19:46

Don't be sorry! I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time at the moment. What could you do, now, to help turn the rest of the day around? Can you take DS out anywhere (even just to the park), run around and have some fun with him? Or if you don't fancy leaving the house, sit on the sofa and watch something you both enjoy.

Hope you feel a lot better soon.

pinkieandperkie Sat 06-Aug-16 10:22:11

Oh dear poor you. Take a deep breath, force yourself to get in the shower and just let the water run over you. Take things easy and be easy on yourself. flowers

hunibuni Sat 06-Aug-16 10:23:35

The person who was rude to you was an arse and DH is big and bad enough to keep an eye on the time. I prescribe a brew and chill out with DS, followed by a quick tidy up known as shove everything into a laundry basket and put it put of sight and a potter in the garden (if you have one) for fresh air.

I shall be taking my own advice as my house looks like a clothes bomb went off but I'm putting it off until DS and FIL finish laying concrete. I might put bleach down the loos before my brew so I can feel virtuous. In my defence, this is the first day in 2 weeks that I have felt remotely human thanks to a bastard of a chest infection.

flumpybear Sat 06-Aug-16 10:25:05

I feel your pain - I had many days like this particularly when I had only one child - don't know why but after my second I differed lesson hmm
I often just do something simple for the day like today I'll sunbathe whilst my two play in the garden with the paddling pool and pick raspberries for dinner etc... Will probably do a picnic. I like chilling on Saturday night with a nice dinner and some wine and look forwards to that - perhaps a nice hot bubble bath and early night, get your DH to take over everything when he comes home so you can relax

TheoriginalLEM Sat 06-Aug-16 10:25:15

you could be me! so have a hug for actually being awesome and coping with anxiety. I know you don't feel like you are coping but you really are.

The desire to be away from everyone is very strong for me sometimes. my head is a noisy place to be without everything else on top.

Ice cream sounds great . how old is your ds? i bet he'd love ice cream for breakfast and a dvd while you snuggle on the sofa.

Then maybe a walk later on. Just the two of you. The rest if the world can fuck off. Its just you and your ds today. No pressure - you don't need to go out if you don't want to but if you do you can be quietly thinking "and you can fuck off" to everyone you meet.

oh and lunch? more ice cream of course!

brew

flumpybear Sat 06-Aug-16 10:26:56

Do you take anything for anxiety like CBT or citalopram etc?! I have had both and they helped. Really bad anxiety attacks I have propranolol

user1466795981 Sat 06-Aug-16 10:27:30

Remind yourself of something in your past that you're proud of yourself for to give you confidence to face the day.

toomuchconfusion Sat 06-Aug-16 10:29:11

I'm not sure if my words will be any help but wow I totally understand! I have anxiety too and spend far too much of my time dwelling on small incidents that confirm my beliefs that I am indeed a terrible worthless stupid person etc. There are days where I just want life to stop for a while so I can stop thinking.

What I will say is it will pass. I know that sounds cliché but it's true. Following an argument earlier in the week I had several days of being really anxious and stuck in negative thought cycles but today I'm feeling more like my usual self and can see things with a bit of clarity now.

I find focusing on my kids really helps me keep moving forward. Just focus on the small everyday things your ds needs you to do and keep your mind moving forward.

I always ask myself whether what I am worrying about will matter in 6 months. It helps dismiss a lot of the smaller unimportant thoughts.

Hope you feel less anxious soon. Please try to be kind to yourself.

BusStopBetty Sat 06-Aug-16 10:30:09

A very, very long time ago, when I was at school, we learned some relaxation exercises in drama. I still do one of them if I feel stressed. From your toes upwards, very slowly, start tensing your muscles. Once every muscle is tensed very slowly start releasing the tensed muscles.

Another good one, to centre yourself, is threes. Look around and name three things you can see. Name three things you can hear, feel, touch etc.

Anxiety is a bastard and I'm sorry your struggling. I hope the rest of the day is easier.

Do you have anything, even a tiny thing, to look forward to? Is there something fun you can do today with ds? Paddling pool with bubbles if he's little?

I know someone who has taken up cross stitch as she find it takes up a lot of her concentration and she imagines stitches and patterns in her head when stressed. Another friend of a friend has taken up cycling and has found that a long ride blowing the cobwebs away has made an enormous difference.

MeMeMyMyandMine Sat 06-Aug-16 10:33:29

Thank you all, I feel less alone now, you're all lovely for taking the time to encourage me. Just so hard when the anxiety hits me and makes everything 100x worse than it really is. a moment to breath and maybe some giggles with DS (3).

Dragongirl10 Sat 06-Aug-16 10:34:41

Hi, a big hug here! we do all have those days and they are horrible but the feelings will pass.

Look at your fab DS, to him you are the world, he doesn't see what you do, he sees the most lovely mum who gives great hugs and he loves to bits.

Guess what... he is right.

Stop beating yourself up, each time those 'I'm rubbish' thoughts creep in, mentally say NO, l am just fine as l am, and repeat and repeat until you believe it.

Messy house...we all have one sometimes (or all of the time!) fraught husband..lots of us have one of those too! just don't become responsible for his feelings.
As to rude idiot, maybe they were having a terrible day and took it out on you.....it's over let it go.

Keep looking at your lovely boy and do something easy together that cheers you up. Hope you feel better very soon.

timelytess Sat 06-Aug-16 10:36:08

Sending a hand-hold. Its the stalker kind that runs up and grabs your hand every time its free, to give a reassuring squeeze.

SaucyJack Sat 06-Aug-16 10:36:55

Could you pick one task in the area of house that's bothering you most, and get it done this morning while your son watches a bit of telly? Like clearing the kitchen sides, or the lounge floor, or sorting out clean clothes for the week?

I find doing something productive and then having a nice, clean space to relax in afterwards lifts my mood much more than hiding from it.

Geordiegirl79 Sat 06-Aug-16 10:39:28

Timeliness, that's lovely. I'm sending hugs as well.

BigDamnNCFail Sat 06-Aug-16 10:41:30

I can empathise. I also suffer from anxiety alongside depression and almost certainly autism. I feel guilty about everything all the time and just day to day life can often feel completely overwhelming.

Are you dressed? If not, get dressed. It's surprising how much that simply thing can make you feel more human and like you've accomplished something.

What't the one thing you could do for a few minutes to make the house look a little better? Chucking a load of mess from the living room into a bag? Hoovering a room? Doing the washing up?

Figure out which thing would make the biggest difference and do it.

Then be kind to yourself. Acknowledge you have achieved things (getting dressed and doing whatever piece of housework you do) and then sit and have a cup of tea and don't pressure yourself to do anything else except the bare minimum today.

flowers

MeMeMyMyandMine Sat 06-Aug-16 10:45:14

thank you for all the hugs and advice, i'm really feeling the love. I think I will try to get 1 thing done around the house, maybe the living room and then concentrate on DS, children have an amazing ability to force you to forget about yourself as they run around creating chaos everywhere <3

Beeziekn33ze Sat 06-Aug-16 10:57:28

Huge thanks to all the posters on here who have inspired me to get offline, have a shower and try a bit of tidying up. I was going to spend today like yesterday, in bed, radio on, online ,feeling sorry for myself because I have a pain. 💐 😉

toadgirl Sat 06-Aug-16 11:00:55

flowers

You poor thing.

Glad you are feeling a bit comforted now.

For today, I would just concentrate on getting yourself "up" a bit. You've already started by making this thread and receiving encouraging replies.

Later today/tomorrow, maybe (with our help, if you like) you could start making a game-plan to take control of this.

Anxiety feeds on itself and it's hard to break the cycle, but there is a lot of help out there.

Make a comforting drink, keep posting here and put on some music or calming hypnosis playing in the background. Stay away from 24-hour news on TV or anything that stirs up emotion/anxiety for you.

Make an appointment with your GP for medication or talk therapy/counselling - whatever you decide between you that would be best for you.

Try this guided meditation. It's lovely:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_jcEpwKQXc

If you type "anxiety relief" in youTube, it will come up with hundreds of videos offering calming music and guided meditations - all for free.

When you are feeling stronger and when you and your DH have time to talk, see if there is anything you two can work out to make your lives run smoother. For instance, does DH often run late for work? Why? What could he do to change that? I think your morning starting off right would help set the tone for the day.

As for the rude person you spoke to, there's not much to be done about other people's rudeness, I'm afraid. If they are always rude, but part of your life, try and minimise the time you have to spend with them or start a thread about this person so we can help.

Good luck.

toadgirl Sat 06-Aug-16 11:01:35

Beeziekn33ze

Well done! flowers

Have you got anything for your pain?

user1466795981 Sat 06-Aug-16 11:22:43

Pick a date in the future by which you hope to achieve - or make some progress towards - whichever personal goals you will have. I find 4 months actually to be a good time scale - just an arbitrary date I've picked - I say things like - in 4 months time I hope to achieve X, Y, and Z. This will help you dwell less on the negative feelings of today - and make it likely that in 4 months time you will have made some good progress in your life and will be in a better place emotionally.
Basically, if you start striving today, let's say in a year's time (likely much sooner than that) you will be in a much better place. x

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