Two men and a baby - to be surprised at the reactions!

(38 Posts)
LikeDylanInTheMovies Fri 05-Aug-16 22:04:10

I'm a gentleman Mumsnetter and at the weekend a male friend of mine takes his six month old for a walk and often stops at a coffee shop near where we live. Quite often I will meet him for a coffee and then continue on the walk with him.

It seems the sight of two men with a baby walking down the street is enough to cause consternation - plenty of double takes.a and we live in a largish city albeit where i live is a traditional working class area)

I'm not sure if they assume we are a couple and they don't like the fact that -shock horror - same sex couples can raise children, they think we are child abductors who've just snatched the child and wheeling it away or they are so unaccustomed to men performing childcare for very young infants?

Either way it didn't enter my head that we'd be subject to double takes and semi-suspicious glances.

Choccywoccyhooha Fri 05-Aug-16 22:33:15

Yeah, that type of behaviour is bizarre. You'd think people would have better things to rubber neck at.

I went to visit a friend in a small Yorkshire town recently, he, his husband, another friend and his boyfriend took my toddler out to the park while I had a break for an hour, I would loved to have seen the looks as people tried to figure out the relationship between 4 men and a small girl!

madinche1sea Fri 05-Aug-16 22:41:25

LikeDylan - well I think you both sound great.

Your post reminded me of something actually. The other day I was driving through a quite affluent area of SW London in the middle of the day and I did find myself doing a double take at a man walking down the road with a small baby in a pram. He wasn't a bad looking guy tbh (mid 30s), but I knew that wasn't the reason for my double take. So I found myself wondering why I would have noticed him at all.

It struck me then how I'm just not used to seeing men with small babies in the middle of the day. He looked as if he was just walking round trying to get the baby to sleep. This is the sort of area that's pram jam for mums and nannies, yet it's only when I saw a man with a pram that I realised how much this was an exception to the rule.

Even on weekends, it's not really something you see much. Maybe men in family groups or with older kids on bikes etc, but not in their own with a pram (or with a male friend/s).

Odd when you think about it.

Northernparent68 Fri 05-Aug-16 22:42:52

How strange, I often see two men with a child, but I ve never noticed people staring or showing any interest.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 05-Aug-16 22:43:51

Maybe you're both devilishly handsome and that's what's attracting the attention?

😈

wigornian Fri 05-Aug-16 23:15:10

Quite sad that it does occasion double takes for either of the possible reasons mentioned up-thread. My DS is 7 now, but when he was a baby I would often take him out in the pram for very long walks to get him to sleep while DW slept. Did wonders for my waist-line - hoping to do the same now I can go out cycling with DS grin

ASAS Fri 05-Aug-16 23:24:11

As the mum of a son this makes me slightly sad, are people really agog at men with children?!

On the other hand maybe people are staring because you're handsome/have food on your chin.

DesolateWaist Fri 05-Aug-16 23:27:42

I like 'gentleman Mumsnetter'. All men should introduce themselves in this fashion.

SaggyNaggy Fri 05-Aug-16 23:30:31

I know where youre coming frpm op. As a SAHD im often out and about woit my DD who's 3. I get plentt of rubbernecking and stares whilst sat converaing woith her in cafes and the like. I always assume they think I'm gorgeous or have mistaken me for some one famous or they think I'm odd for actually talking to my daughter. All I tend to see is people ignoring theirs. hmm

SatansLittleHelper2 Fri 05-Aug-16 23:30:45

Are you sure this is happening ?? Really ??

I personally know a gay, male couple who have raised 3 children together and even in our shitty, backwards thinking town they havent had any negative attention. And their children are now reaching late teens.....I just don't think it's seen as an issue these days.

LikeDylanInTheMovies Fri 05-Aug-16 23:37:52

Jeffrey I wish!

I wonder if it is the age thing with the baby being so young. According to my mate it is the combination of two males with a baby that attracts attention. When he walls to meete no one bats an eyelid, when the three of us walk by the looks start.

Rainbowunicorn73 Fri 05-Aug-16 23:38:50

I co parent with my ds dad so he and his partner are often out and about with the little boy. I don't think they get too many stares as such but what we've all noticed is how many people treat every bit of male parenting as if it deserves a round of applause!!
"Aren't you wonderful pushing that pram?"
"Look at you getting him to sit nicely to eat his tea!"
"Aren't you a lucky boy having daddy bring you to the park?"
All the time, it's really odd!

LikeDylanInTheMovies Fri 05-Aug-16 23:56:44

Honestly Satan I'm not imagining it!

Samcro Fri 05-Aug-16 23:59:18

The only reason i notice men wit babys in prams'".. Is that they purh it with one hand

BurningBridges Fri 05-Aug-16 23:59:57

If I see a man or men with a child and they are being a great parent, I do stare because I am so impressed - my DH is a tosser and always was even when the kids were tiny. I suppose I am one of those who things good male parenting is notable just because of my bad experiences.

One male friend and his male partner have adopted 4 children, but they are much older kids think 8 to 14 years so they don't attract so much attention.

BurningBridges Sat 06-Aug-16 00:01:27

(PS I like "gentleman Mumsnetter" too - GMN - definitely the way to go)

Weedles Sat 06-Aug-16 00:10:29

I'm suprised and wonder if it's something else.

I can't see how two guys and a baby would be noticible.

I suppose if it were two guys who were very obviously gay I might notice but I'd not give it much thought further than thinking oh there is two gay guys with a baby

I see guys out with kids every weekend when I go walking.

You friend isn't doing loud parenting or something...

LikeDylanInTheMovies Sat 06-Aug-16 00:33:44

Samcro guilty as charged when it comes to one handed pushing.

You friend isn't doing loud parenting or something

No the baby is still very young and mostly sleeps. Most of the time we take turns to push her and talk about sport.

Since I've been going out for these walks , I've kept an eye out for more than one man with a baby. Solo dads are quite common, but two men together with a baby is quite rare.

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 06-Aug-16 01:05:17

SatansLittleHelper2
"Are you sure this is happening ?? Really ??"

It definitely happens. Especially in school playgrounds at pick up time.

BurstBees Sat 06-Aug-16 01:13:03

I don't know why anyone would stare at you if you're just walking down the street. But it reminded me of being a teenager and going out with a bunch of mates and being quite loud and attention seeking and looking around to see who was looking at us. Then we would complain to each other - "jeez, why are people staring at us!"

FithColumnist Sat 06-Aug-16 01:24:23

As another Gentleman Mumsnetter (awesome phrase, totally stealing it), I have been subject to similar stares while pushing my DN around in a pushchair while on babysitting duty. I'm totally putting it down to being devilishly handsome, obvs grin

KC225 Sat 06-Aug-16 01:58:18

Two men and a baby, they are looking for the third man. Love that film.

GerdaLovesLili Sat 06-Aug-16 09:34:29

It's common round here, the menfolk are often left to parent whilst the women work. I'd say about a quarter of buggies have men attached to the handles and they're often in pairs or groups.

CheekyMcgee Sat 06-Aug-16 09:39:59

Adore the phrase Gentleman Mumsnetter!

BillSykesDog Sat 06-Aug-16 09:45:16

I think this is a big case of confirmation bias. You want to think that the world is full of bigots who hate the idea of gay people having children while you are the cool groovy open minded one. You're reading what you want/expect into a situation with no real evidence it's the case.

In reality they're probably just looking at the cute baby with you. My husband is one of five boys so he is regularly out with one and a baby/child and has been for years without a sniff of this (and in small town Yorkshire too).

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