To be furious with friend for this FB post **Trigger warning - upsetting content. Edited by MNHQ**

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

In an absolute state after scrolling down my FB feed and a (male if it matters) friend has shared a post of a miscarried fetus at 11 weeks as an anti-abortion argument

I lost two children in a row and still struggle with the grief as they were wanted and planned for and loved instantly.

I reported the post and blocked the feed but still feel like he should have some bloody respect for those who have suffered. The woman who's baby it was is the original poster and she allowed the image to be used to prove that "11 week olds are fully formed babies with toes, etc" and her "baby isn't here because they were sent on a higher mission to stop abortion" also "why can't they just give them up for adoption there's loads of families who will adopt them", "no need to be a murderer" (that's what it says on the post I'm a bit flabbergasted at their ignorance of the current state of adoptions).

Although I'd never have an abortion I'm 100% pro choice, but upset that I didn't get the choice whether or not to see this extremely distressing image. I'm also concerned about any vulnerable women on his friends list who may have had an abortion being seriously affected by this post.

AIBU if I tell him he's being disrespectful or should I get a grip because you can post whatever you like on your own FB. (If I had any inkling he'd post something like this I'd have blocked weeks ago).

I know you can't control what you see online but you don't expect that while casually scrolling through what your friends are up to

[neonrainbow]

I would go postal on them then defriend and block.

[hmcAsWas]

Message him - inform him (he is mired in ignorance) and educate him. Defriend him if he is not otherwise important to you.

Sorry you've been upset

[KoalaDownUnder]

What neon said.

I'm live-and-let-live on Facebook, but some things deserve a fucking reaction.

[Ginmakesitallok]

Defined the asshole

[hmcAsWas]

What does 'going postal' achieve exactly? Will it make him question his stance?

[Jengnr]

Once upon a time I would have had it with him about it but you can't reason with stupid and that kind of thing woud end up with me even more upset.

Maybe I'd say something about the brain dead notion of posting such a horrific and insensitive image but probably best to just delete and block.

[Snowflakes1122]

Yanbu. That could really upset someone push some people who are suffering over the edge. I know it would have left me distraught as I had a miscarriage at the same gestation a few weeks ago.

Glad you reported it. Really sorry you shouldn'thave had to see that

[SharonfromEON]

Clutching at straws...Do they know they have shared it.. If they do I would defriend

[LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF]

OP, while I understand you may be upset by the images, you have claimed to be 100% 'pro-choice' - and then gone on to repeat exactly why this man thinks abortion is wrong. Do you not see that those remarks could be extremely upsetting for someone who has recently undergone a termination? I do hope this is a genuine post, but if you are that sensitive, then please show some to other women.

[SortItAhhht]

I dont bother arguing on social media anymore. Just block it if it upsets you.

To be honest, anyone who uses their miscarriage as an argument against abortion is an absolute dickhead. I say this as someone who has had several miscarriages. There is such a thing as taste and decorum, for fuck sake.

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

Lorelei I just repeated what the post said to show how horrified I was at it, i totally disagree with the entire thing If anyone was going through that I'd like them to know that the rest of us think those "reasons" are bullshit and they have our support

[laidbackneko]

Yanbu. Block.

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

I knew exactly what this would be about. I had a medically managed miscarriage at 22 weeks due to to medical issues and have deleted friends over their stupid anti-abortion statuses. My auntie posted a meme pretty much saying babies can 'feel' from conception and that anyone aborting is lacking in empathy

[Onedaftmonkey]

How hurtful for people who have lost babies this young .I had a colleague who had a photo of her misscarried 17 week old child on her work desk. It was heartbreaking and distressing at the same time. some things are best left at home. FB is the devils work. Fyi. They sound like insensitive twunts. Whatever they believe.

[Nursenat100]

I generally let FB stuff go, but this is the exact issue I've taken "friends" to task over....and then blocked them. I'm not interested in giving headspace to people who tout this kind of crap on public forums

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

I bit the bullet and said something, as politely as I could manage for the sake of being civil and hopefully it will sink in. I didn't mention anything regarding his arguments for anti-abortion even though I disagree with him, just about how distressing the image is.

The sad thing is the original post says the image is the most important and powerful part so it likely defies the entire point of his "argument" if he takes it down.

[KitKats28]

I don't understand why you need to post here asking what to do. If you are pro-choice then block him. Surely you know your own mind.

At the end of the day, it is entirely up to him what he posts on his Facebook and entirely up to you whether you want to read it or not.

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

To everyone who has experienced a child loss (of any kind) and thank you for those sent to myself

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

KitKats it wasn't up to me whether I saw it because it was on a public newsfeed, it was the image that upset me not the argument. I will let anyone have their opinion no matter what I think about it but wanted to know if it WBU to say something to him about how it's affecting others or if I should ignore it completely

[Boogers]

Delete and block. You can't argue with stupid.

[hmcAsWas]

Good for you - calmly and rationally putting your point across.

[MissBattleaxe]

I'd block, defriend and never speak to him again. Who is he to lecture? I have also had 2 mcs and I wouldn't forgive such insensitivity.

[Vixyboo]

You say you 'would never have an abortion'.

I was pregnant last year with our second. We were told at 12 week scan our baby had anencephaly- so basically had no brain and the skull hadn't closed (acrania). The scan pic was so obviously not right. Our ds had not looked like that at all.

So we were given a 'choice' (grimest choice ever) either we carried on with the pregnancy and at the most the baby would survive a few hours outside the womb. Or have a termination as the baby was 'a life that could not be supported outside the womb'.

So you wouldn't have a termination?

I could not watch my baby die after birth and my partner felt the same.

So easy to be 'pro choice' and actually secretly judge. Not so easy when your world comes crashing down around you and the baby you hoped and dreamed for cannot survive.

[NeedAnotherGlass]

If it's the one that I've seen before, it's fake.
It was a tiny but perfectly formed baby held in the palm of a hand.
Far too perfect and detailed for 11 weeks.

I detest posts like that.

[Rarotonga]

YANBU at all. I'd definitely unfriend/block the person. It must have been upsetting for you.
I think the title of this thread should pre warn the contents somewhat...could be upsetting and triggering to others, though I know that isn't the intention.