Priority seats on trains!!!!

[MarcelineTheVampire]

I was on a busy train this morning and an elderly disabled lady boarded the train, there were no seats and she was tentatively looking around, so I asked if anyone could let this lady sit down (I was stood up) - everyone looked away and a bloke actually said 'well, I'm playing cards so I can't- these young boys could get up'.

Another man did get up in the end but AIBU to expect common decency to remove yourself from a seat if a disabled person gets on the train? And playing cards isn't a valid reason not to get up? In addition he was a bit ageist in suggesting that the young boys could get up but he couldn't possibly?

Btw I didn't aim it at anyone in particular as some people may have really needed their seat but if it was me I would have been the first person to get up- maybe I have too high expectations.

[CocktailQueen]

If it's a train where you can book a seat, people should book. They can't complain if they choose not to book and then they don't have a seat.

But if you mean a commuter train, then yes, you'd hope someone would be polite enough to get up and give her their seat. Who was in the priority seats?

[LeytonPolo]

I was on a train the other day and when an elderly woman entered, 3 men and a woman all jumped out of their seats.

[MarcelineTheVampire]

There were couples in all of the priority seats who didn't move, but I don't like to assume that they don't need the seat so just asked a general question.

It was a commuter train.

[candykane25]

Thank you for helping this lady. I am sure she's very grateful that you made her day easier, to her it would have been a big deal.

[TitaniasTits]

I had a similar experience the other day - the only person to offer a seat on a crowded train to a woman carrying a small baby was me, and I had my DD on my lap. Thankfully the fuss we caused guilted someone else into standing, but I do get cross that it isn't automatic to give up your seat to someone who needs it more.

[MarcelineTheVampire]

Leyton I have been on trains where people have fallen over themselves to move previously, but it was the brazen 'I'm playing cards' that annoyed me the most I think.

[6demandingchildren]

My 8 year old has a priority seat card. We was sat in the seat him on my lap and an elderly lady got on and she shared the seat with my son (son perched on the edge) even though we have this card we have both ended up sitting on the floor of the train.
Not sure if it's lack of manners of lack of available seats.

[doctoratsea]

Marceline - don't waste your emotion of being annoyed, as the guy was a prize dick! Consider how miserable and insular his life must be to use playing cards as his excuse. Think good thoughts after all he is just a bloke!

[KoalaDownUnder]

YANBU. At all.

Although these threads always turn into a bunfight, somehow.

[KellyBoo800]

I get on a very busy commuter train that's always completely packed; to the extent where by the last stop before you get into London, people waiting to get on have to shout down to ask people to move down the carriage so they can actually fit on.

I've often noticed elderly/disabled/pregnant people standing and usually would ask on their behalf if someone could give up a seat, and I don't think I've ever witnessed a situation where nobody would. That said, I did see a man last week ask a heavily pregnant lady (who was stood up leaning against the wall by the doors) to move so he could stand there because he didn't have anything to hold onto and thought he might fall over. I was shocked!!

[KoalaDownUnder]

Kelly Utterly appalled that a 'heavily pregnant' woman would be standing in the first place! Jeez.

[TheNaze73]

Some people shout at you for being polite, it works both ways. And the is she/ isn't she pregnant dilemma is the hardest to judge. I think you're spot on though OP, the card player should be ashamed

[casiopeia]

Marceline not doubting your hearing or anything, but could the man have actually said 'I have a priority card' (as in disabled/ in need of the seat), instead of I am playing cards? I know it doesn't sound the same, but there is some similarity I am naive enough to believe in the kinder option. If you heard correctly, he was a right *, unbelievable to come up with such an excuse and to think it is ok

[spidey66]

I've had a prolem with my knee for the past 5 weeks or so, my GP thinks it's bursitis and I'm waiting on an MRI to rule this out/confirm this diagnosis. Currently it's really really painful and I have found it difficult to stand on public transport-when the train stops/starts suddenly it's excrutiating.

I'm always too shy to ask anyone to stand up for me, though if I'm going for a seat with someone else I'd say 'can I have it, I've got a bad knee?''

At the weekend I gave in a bought a cheap walking stick and oh my word the difference it makes. I've been impressed by people now offering me sa seat. Beats a Baby On Board badge!

[Sandsnake]

Of course YANBU. Priority seat rules are simple - anyone can sit there but must be prepared to give the seat up if someone who needs a priority seat gets on. I tend to use them as they are more comfortable but know that this carries the risk of being left with no seat at all if someone gets on and needs the seat. If I'm in a priority seat I make the point of looking up when new passengers get on the train so that I can actively offer the seat if someone gets on who needs it, as opposed to them having to ask.

[QueenCarpetJewels]

I have a stick and no one has ever offered me a seat (too shy to ask). I also get people barging in to me when I walk down the street. Am of the opinion that most people just don't give a shit.

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

Sorry to say that there seems to be a general downward trend in behaviour these days. When there are too many people in too small a space everyone looks out for themselves and to hell with anyone else. Not nice, at least you were brave enough to say something instead of pretending not to have noticed.

[Shizzlestix]

I was on crutches recently after a fall, already got mobility issues. The amount of people that expected me to move out of their way on a busy street was amazing. At one point I just stood there and asked if they'd like to manoeuvre round me. I fear I actually shook the crutch at one person who came pelting straight at me. I must have looked like the old guy in that Pixar cartoon.

Controversially, how about letting very overweight people sit down? Is there a lot of difference between that and being pregnant? Prepares to be flamed I've seen plenty of overweight people struggling to maintain their balance on commuter trains and there's going to be pain associated with being very overweight.

[1moreglassplease]

I've commuted for 20 years and am always stunned that as soon as pregnant woman gets on board, every man, woman and child suddenly either falls asleep/is engrossed in the paper or phone/gazing out of the window so suddenly blind.

Once there was a pregnant woman who was unwell and standing. I was also standing and asked the three grown men sitting in the priority seats whether one of them could give up their seat. One very rudely refused so another did stand and pointed out that he should be ashamed of himself. Pregnant woman was in tears as she said she didn't want to cause problems but felt a bit sick. Cue lots of black looks to the man who refused, along with mutterings. He did get up but with a very bad grace.

I've also seen a heavily pregnant woman raced to the last seat on the tube by a young guy. I was in the seat next to him and insisted she sit down, but we made sure we both commented on his absolute lack of manners to the whole carriage! He stared at the floor.

[RB68]

yes pregnant woman falls - potential to miscarry, overweight person falls - potential injury but not miscarriage

(said as someone overweight)

[Shizzlestix]

Thanks, RB68 I totally understand this. Thinking about it, I remember a friend fell flat on her face whilst heavily pregnant and her bump flattened out. Must have been terrifying for her. :(

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I agree that the card-playing bloke was a prize dick. Were they real cards, or was he playing on his phone? Not that it matters, he's a dick either way, but real cards would be more problematic if standing, obvs.

Glad someone else DID stand for the lady though - there are entirely too many mannerless fuckwits around, mostly (HUGE generalisation) male businessmen who think they are Far Too Important to stand up. Some of them have briefcases that are Just As Important, and Need Their Own Seat as well.

And this is from my experience as a student commuting into London daily, some 30 years ago. Things don't change. :(

[AnotherDayInParadiseLost]

What's a priority seat card and how do you get one?
My 13 yr old DS needs a seat (invisible disability) and so far I've sent him with a typed note stuck on a card if he is asked to stand.
He doesn't often travel on public transport without me as he walks to school.

[GabsAlot]

yes there is a risk of miscarriage but could also be a risk of heart attack or something for an overweight person

not that im defending obesity sometimes its medical though

[TortoiseVTurtle]

There is very little common decency on the trains where I am in the South East. I got in to a huge argument last year with some commuters who refused to move their bags to let people sit down.
Poor teenagers too scared to ask anyone.

The loudest objector told me that he was a barristor - quite what relevance that had to the situation I don't know- nor did I care.