We live down south, my family is up north, we visit as regularly as we can but school holidays and annual leave prevent it from being more often.
Back story
I have two DC - Dd6, Ds3 my brother also has two DNephew8 and DNIEce2. We have very different parenting styles. Although I love my DB they're very materialistic, my DN8 has had an Xbox 360 (equivalent) in his own room with flat screen TV since being 3, he's quite a sulky kid and never seems to let his hair down and have a laugh, he's had that super cool bravado since being 6 and doesn't get excited about anything, when giving him gifts he doesn't even open them, just carries on playing with his DS/IPad and doesn't say thank you, my heart kind of breaks for him as I honestly don't think he's a happy kid. It's difficult when we come home as I just have more battles with my kids over what they can do, treats, sweets etc as my DB allows Nephew to do/have whatever he likes, I'm not strict but my kids aren't allowed to have and do the same.
Today I took my kids and nephew to the pictures/cinema. My DM came with. She babysits my brothers kids all the time, takes DN to activities, days out etc, she sees them 3-4 times a week.
I then took us all for pizza afterwards. My kids are in awe of their cousin, they give him major love, say he's the best, fight to sit next to him, hang off his every word, run to meet him with massive cuddles .... To which they are met every time with a blank. Today was no different. He kept saying they were annoying him, whenever my Dd tried to speak he would shhh her and say he didn't want to listen right now, when she was keeping up with him trying to do the word search, he pushed her and said she was copying him, on the calculator he was whispering to my mum saying she didn't know what she was doing ...continuously putting her down when she was trying to tell him a tale. My DS3 went to hug him and he shoved him and said "get off". When leaving he pushed my daughter into the table and said "get out of my way".
Throughout the meal, I could just feel myself imploding, I brought my DD to sit by me (later she went back next to DN) she cried 3 times while we were in there, so I comforted her and just told her to ignore it. I felt really anxious and just wanted to protect my little girl. I didn't feel able to reprimand my nephew as tbh I don't see him enough to do so, I felt so uncomfortable and so so sad. I wanted my DM to step in and check his behaviour.
My DM whispered to DN to "please have some patience" in a completely nice way. When in the car I said to her "why was he so cruel to DD" "Oh they're just kids they're all like that" she said. "No they're not all like that, you should've told him not to treat her like that and made him apologise then we could've moved on" I said "You should've done that you were there" she said "why would I do that when you're there you're his grandmother he's more you're responsibility" she then said "I think you're being hypersensitive and over-reacting, you're trying to make me split between the kids and I won't do it" I said that was ridiculous and it's because his behaviour wasn't checked as to why it carried on and got worse.
Was I over-reacting? I'm all chewed up now and everyone has had an early night so I'm just sat here mumsnetting in the dark sharing a queen bed with both DC's My DH isn't here so I'm feeling worse and really just want
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To have expected better from my DM
50 replies
Rockingaround · 02/08/2016 22:34
OP posts:
zzzzz ·
02/08/2016 23:47
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zzzzz ·
03/08/2016 00:22
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