To think people should reply promptly to an invitation?

(25 Posts)
ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 13:38:14

I sent a text to several people inviting them to a party. A few have not yet replied and I think it is a bit rude. If they don't want to come they can easily respond with "Thanks Exit but we are busy/on holiday/whatever that weekend." If they are away they could reply saying that they will let me know when they get home and check their diaries.

To not respond at all is bloody annoying.

AIBU?

SquidgyRedBall Mon 01-Aug-16 13:52:37

YANBU

This absolutely winds me up. Especially when you can see they have read the message.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 13:55:00

I don't think I can see they have read it. How would I do that?

But I am sure they will have.

MaudGonneMad Mon 01-Aug-16 13:57:58

When did you send the text?

facepalming Mon 01-Aug-16 13:58:05

It's irritating but I think if you expect a quicker response you should include it within your invite.

Otherwise people will often check with partners, babysitters or against work commitments before accepting or declining

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 14:00:57

Last Thursday. And the three who have not responded do not need babysitters or to check work commitments. Holiday commitments yes, but in that case a quick thanks but no thanks would suffice. Two of the none respondees are sort of the ones that I really want to be here hence why it is a bit annoying that they haven't got back to me yet.

Harrumph.

Rafflesway Mon 01-Aug-16 14:03:33

Totally agree people should respond very promptly!

We received an evening wedding invite on Friday - complete with very unmumsnetty poem asking for honeymoon donations rather than gifts grin - for July 2017! We completed the RSVP - accepted - and returned yesterday.

(I was a bit worried in case we looked a bit over eager but TBH we are not really fussed about going as the venue is a small hotel in the middle of nowhere, over 40 miles away with no rooms spare and no bb's/other hotels within walking distance so will have to spend the whole evening sipping Diet Coke sad but they are a lovely couple and we didn't want to upset them in any way plus I hate bad manners!)

YADNBU Exit

Crunchymum Mon 01-Aug-16 14:04:35

Did you specify you needed a reply?

Also when is party taking place?

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 14:10:35

I put 'Hope you can join us' at the end of the text. Everyone else responded almost immediately or the next day.The party is in three weeks.

Mummaaaaaah Mon 01-Aug-16 14:14:49

bloody irritating, but tbh there are so many times I get a text invite then have to check with DH and diary etc, then forget to respond. So give them a couple of days and then nudge with a polite "just checking you got the invite, am sorting food / drinks order tomorrow so could you let me know by then if you can make it. hope so!" sort of thing.

myownprivateidaho Mon 01-Aug-16 16:04:34

I think yabu to expect a reply within a few days for a party in three weeks time. There's nothing rude about this. People often need time to work out if they can make it. If it's a dinner party it would be fine to follow up a week before and ask people to confirm in the next couple of days so you know how many to expect.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 16:16:15

Must be me then. If I don't reply pronto to texts then I am liable to forget.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 16:19:24

Although DH has just spoken to one of the none responders (about another matter) and he mentioned that they were coming. His wife thought she had replied, but they are abroad so I suppose it could have disappeared into the ether.

That just leaves two more to hear from.

<drums fingers>

LotsOfShoes Mon 01-Aug-16 16:34:03

1.You need to follow up with a call if you want a prompt response.
2."Hope you can make it" actually suggests that you don't want an rsvp promptly.
3. I'm not sure I could definitely say whether I could come to a party in 3 weeks time or not.

Scholes34 Mon 01-Aug-16 16:37:23

Plus, there's always the possibility they might be waiting to see if they get a better offer for that evening!

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 16:57:08

It's lunchtime.

My party food is legendary.

Noonesfool Mon 01-Aug-16 16:58:16

<checks diary>
3 weeks, you say....

DoingTheBestICan Mon 01-Aug-16 17:02:32

This boils my piss, we had a party recently and one of the guests replied 25 mins before it started to ask if they could still accept. Seeing as the party was a good half hour away from where we live and it was a paid for activity I said if they could get there quickly then yes.
I'm still waiting for their reply.

SmallBee Mon 01-Aug-16 17:12:12

I hate people who do this. I bet the wife didn't think she replied at all, she was just covering for being rude.

I tend to send a follow up text saying something like ' I don't think you will have seen my text as I haven't heard from you, but would like to invite you to xx on xx. I am menu planning and food shopping this weekend so please can you let me know by Friday if you can come? Otherwise would love to get a date in the diary for when we can see you.'

Then if they don't reply I'd assume they're not coming.

Butteredparsnips Mon 01-Aug-16 17:16:13

Mmm. See I get the hump with people asking me if I saw their text. I am not glued to my phone, or always in an area with signal. So I might not see a txt from Thursday until the weekend.

That said, I always try to respond when I do see the message.

myownprivateidaho Mon 01-Aug-16 17:17:22

"I don't think you will have seen my text as I haven't heard from you"

Presumably the OP actually likes the people she's invited so I'd imagine she doesn't want to be incredibly rude to them! But yes, contacting people individually and giving them a deadline to respond to is fine. In general, I think that if you are asking people far in advance of a party but want a reply within a few days, you have to be explicit about this, otherwise people won't know.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 01-Aug-16 17:21:54

It's not that I wanted or needed a reply within a few days, I just sort of expected it.

Hey, Exit's sent us a party invite, shall we go?

Decide

Text back

But of course, we are all different and my party is not a priority.

fools

AddToBasket Mon 01-Aug-16 17:23:24

YABU. Thanks for your invite but I don't have to do this to your timetable. I'll try to, but I may forget, especially if you've messaged me when I'm in the middle of something else.

Sorry, but you can't expect busy people to 'respond promptly' at your say so. Nice and polite if they do, but no failing on their part if they don't.

Seeline Mon 01-Aug-16 17:26:13

'hope you can join us' at the end of a text to me says pop round if you're not doing anything else, not RSVP as soon as you get this.

LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF Mon 01-Aug-16 17:32:56

I've literally just read an email from my son's speech therapist asking about a suitable date for her to visit, completely ignored it and clicked into MN! Will go back and reply pronto! Re: party invites, I think it's reasonable to expect a reply in a couple of days; you have to work out numbers, food, seating etc & should not be your job to chase them up - isn't that what RSVP means?!

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