AIBU re neighbourhood kids in garden?

[Peskykidsinmygarden]

First post in AIBU...

Next door but one have a large number (5+) kids, including 3 boys.

We live in a cul de sac, and there's a grassy roundabout in the middle. During the summer the boys are out in the road with a football a lot of the time, and as our front garden has a low (4-foot-ish) wall in front, it's favoured as a goal.

Now I don't have a problem with them outside the front, but they regularly kick the ball into our front garden or into our window at the front. This year I've made a real effort to get the front garden looking nice and they keep trampling my flower beds, and every time they kick the ball into the window it makes us jump and the dogs go ballistic (which makes me feel even worse as next door have small kids and this is frequently in the evening when I expect they're trying to do bedtime).

Tonight has been particularly bad - I caught them jumping over the wall into the flower bed at 10.30pm, in desperation parked the car in front of the wall and was met by a barrage of abuse and threats to damage it .

In order to not drip feed - we've lived here for a couple of years. I've tried asking them politely and they ignore me. There are other houses in the street with similar walls, but they say they're not allowed to play in front of them. If I speak to their parents it improves for a short while. They also think it's funny to shout stupid insults over the fence when I'm gardening, which I ignore. I get on ok with the girls, we chat over the fence occasionally.

They're not bad kids, just bored I think. AIBU to want them to stay out of my garden and leave me in peace? And if I'm not BU, any advice for improving the situation?

[mummytofourbabies]

Aw OP you sound lovely..
I have 4 kids, 3 of which are boys and is be mortified if I thought they were talking to/treating anyone like that.

Have you explained to the parents just how bad it's got?

[mummytofourbabies]

I'd

[Nanny0gg]

Well if talking to their parents doesn't work, I'd be having a chat with the local community police as their behaviour is pretty anti-social, verging on criminal damage.

[busymummy3boys1girl]

I had the kids bounce a football off my front door through a similar situation a couple of years ago and I told them off repeatedly and got ignored until I lost my shit and told them to bounce their fucking football of their parents front door instead. Needless to say it stopped! Guessing all the neighbours heard and I was quite embarrassed for a few weeks haha xx I was going to blame my pregnancy hormones if anyone knocked on but no one did xx

[Shizzlestix]

Think I'd have a proper talk/rant at the parents. Nothing will change otherwise.

[busymummy3boys1girl]

It's really horrible though if they are threatening to damage your car! I agree with nanny0gg about contacting community police or something sounds like a better route is needed xx

[EarthboundMisfit]

I'd speak to their parents politely but very firmly one more time. If this isn't effective, I'd contact the police.

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

smurfnoff. WTAF?

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

Speak to the parents again, tell them it's the last time before you ring the police and that if there's so much as a tiny scratch on your car you'll be expecting them to pay for it.

Our local police are great & would definitely come around & have a word. They're a wee bit too 'down with the kids' but they do at least come,

[Rainbow]

Talk to the parents if my DSs spoke to anyone like that, they would be in so much trouble x

[LilacInn]

Involve the police. The little disrespectful vandals have had enough chances.

[ImissGrannyW]

Is it ridiculous to suggest you change your wall? Can you make it higher? It sounds like you don't care that they use your wall as a goal, but it annoys you when it goes over the wall and they trample on your garden to get the ball back?

Alternatively, could you put something uninviting on the top of the wall (brambles???)

[RainbowJack]

Burn their faces off with the iron.

I laughed harder than I should have

[AnnaMarlowe]

Next ball that bounces into your garden keep. Tell them their parents need to come and ask for it back.

Their parents will no doubt find the constant disruption to their evening annoying.

[Sazbird]

Our house doesn't face the road and ours and next doors kids play in our front garden as it has grass. The rule we have is they have to knock on (ALL of them) if the ball goes in the opposite neighbours garden, and if it happens twice the ball goes in. The neighbours don't actually mind the ball in their garden but appreciate the kids are learning manners and respect.

[LauderSyme]

YANBU at all - they are!
In fact I think you need to stop being so reasonable and lose your shit with them.
Yell at them, throw in some swear words, tell them exactly what is not acceptable, make sure you look and sound angry.
You've asked them politely and ignored their insults and now they think you are a pushover and are taking the piss.
Good luck because it's not easy to be confrontational if it's not in your nature.
But channel that and make them believe you can be scary when crossed!

[Pipistrelle40]

So they are not allowed to do this in front of other neighbours walls, tell them can't in front of yours now.

[dudsville]

I'd hate to be in your position. Your neighbours aren't monitoring the situation well enough. You've spoken with them, how cleat do you have go be? Now you're in the awkward position of having to change the unspoken rules and the boys aren't going to accept this willingly and the parents haven't been brought in on the plan, which you haven't yet specified. I would honestly rather move but you can try. 1) figure out what you really want. I'd suggest you no longer want them to enter on to your property. 2) let parents know it's no longer acceptible and your reasoning. This can be done without being defensive or confrontational, but it also depends on whether they can be reasonable. 3) I'd consider new fencing. 4) I'd keep any balls for now to drive the point home. Keep a hard line on your new position until they learn it. 5) maybe start going over for q cup of tea now and then to strengthen neighbourly relations!

[Greaterthanthesumoftheparts]

Is there anywhere you can sit in your front garden? Next time they start I'd be tempted to make a cup of tea and sit out, preferably in the middle of the goal until they bugger off elsewhere. Maybe not practice all the time but might make them think twice!

[pudcat]

Are you me?. I have had words with the lads (and their parents) that kick balls outside mine. They are strapping 16/17 year olds who do not play football but kick the ball as hard and as far as they can. The noise is horrendous. One dad will swear and get aggressive with anyone who complains. The lads are rude and make rude gestures. They are not allowed to do it outside their own as they have younger siblings trying to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!
Not allowed fencing on our estate, but that would not stop the incessant thuds anyway.

[BillyNotQuiteNoMates]

Do you know any of your community policing officers (I know all of ours) because I'd have a word with them first, and I their advice. Not necessarily asking them to speak to the kids at this stage, but they should be able to tell you your rights and help you figure out a plan. (Like an electric fence or something )

[Peskykidsinmygarden]

Thank you all - it's good to hear that I'm not being out of line for wanting them out the garden.

I'd love to be able to keep the ball, but I'm not quick enough - by the time I'm out the front door they've been over the wall, grabbed it and run off.

FWIW I'm not hugely anti-confrontation, I've confronted them in the past, been very clear that I don't want them in the garden and they ignore me. I'm tempted to completely lose it, but if I don't judge it quite right and they find it funny not scary then I'm in a weaker position than before.

Imiss not a ridiculous suggestion, but all the houses in our row have the same front wall so it would look odd, and it would restrict the sun coming into the garden.

Greaterthan Not really anywhere to sit, but I do stand and stare at them from the big bay window if I see them outside. They smirk at me and change their game to catch or something until I move .

dudsville I'd love to move, but it's not an option for another year. I agree though I need to agree a position with their parents of what they are/aren't allowed to do. I think I'll use the suggestion that if the ball comes into the garden they have to knock and ask for it back, that might work.

Do you think lying about having set up a video camera looking at the front garden might help?

I'm still hugely angry this morning - how dare they spoil my relaxing Sunday night!! How long til the school holidays are over?!

[Sidge]

When the ball comes into your garden or hits your window go out and take it. Refuse to give it back. When their parents come round to get it tell them you've had enough and are going to contact the PCSOs for advice. Also tell them if the kids damage your car, garden or windows or give you verbal abuse again you will call the police.

[Sidge]

Or water the garden frequently and if they come into it turn the hose on them.