To be a bit hurt?

(16 Posts)
SunkenDrunky Sat 30-Jul-16 20:47:47

Went on holiday with friend a, invited friend b to come too but she wasn't able to.

Unfortunately when we go there I became pretty ill and had to spend a couple of days in bed. Friend a was thankfully fine about it and a good nurse! Nevertheless though we managed to rescue a few days and still did have fun.

Friend b and I chatted when we got back and she asked how I was doing. Said she knew I had been ill (I told her this) and that she talked with friend a who said she hasn't missed anything and that it was basically shit?!

I know she's partly saying this to reassure herself she hasn't missed out and of course the circumstances weren't ideal and the hol could have been better...

But aibu to be hurt by her comment?! It wasn't shit, we still (or at least I!) enjoyed it. I'm hurt by both of them. Friend a claimed to have enjoyed the time we spent together, we're all very close friends...?!

SunkenDrunky Sat 30-Jul-16 20:48:39

I was v I'll and couldn't drink/properly go out in the eves etc. But still did have fun...

Amelie10 Sat 30-Jul-16 20:53:19

Well tbh if she had to nurse you, and didn't have much company it might have been a bit shit.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 30-Jul-16 20:54:45

Yeah it probably was a bit shit for her and she was probably trying to make friend b feel better for not being able to go.

SunkenDrunky Sat 30-Jul-16 20:55:34

She didn't really though - we spent quite a lot of the time together short of a couple of days when I was in bed. And she didn't really nurse me, just brought me food a couple of times confused

SunkenDrunky Sat 30-Jul-16 20:56:43

I was just hurt that other friend somewhat gleefully said oh yes, friend a said it was shit anyway! What a way to make me feel better, I was upset enough anyway at being ill and then felt guilty about friend a not having a good time.

user7755 Sat 30-Jul-16 20:57:07

Sounds like it was a bit shit to be honest. Having spent a week looking after DH in India because he had a bad ear, even 'holidays of a lifetime' are shite if you spend your time sitting in and looking after someone!

Ameliablue Sat 30-Jul-16 20:58:02

I don't think there is anything to be hurt over. She probably did have some fun but it obviously wouldn't have been the holiday she had hoped for.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 30-Jul-16 21:04:26

Other friend is jealous and probably thrilled that she's been told it was shit because she couldn't go. Ignore her-she sounds spiteful.

HobnailsandTaffeta Sat 30-Jul-16 21:08:41

We went on a really expensive holiday with another couple years ago, I had a suspected MC on day two and was on bed rest for the rest of the two weeks. The weather was freezing in a country that is boiling, a highly unusual Arctic wind apparently.

Friends were lovely about it, but let's face it, it was shit. They probably told their friends it was shit.

Your problem is friend B gleefully telling you, that's unfair. Friend A hasn't really done anything except say it was a bit shit. Which it probably was.

mrsfuzzy Sat 30-Jul-16 21:14:48

you are better now and that's what matters, crap happens can't be helped, try to be kinder to yourself and move on, there'll be other holidays and better experiences to be had.

ExcellentWorkThereMary Sat 30-Jul-16 21:20:04

Id be more pissed off with B telling me what A said than A actually saying it, to be honest. yANBU to be a bit hurt by the comment, but perhaps A said (in what she thought was in confidence) that it wasn't as good as you had both hoped as you were I'll, and B jumped on it and was like, yay your holiday sucked. Bit crappy of B, she sounds hard work.

ExcellentWorkThereMary Sat 30-Jul-16 21:20:43

*you were ill

LobsterQuadrille Sat 30-Jul-16 21:21:15

It's all a bit hearsay-based. My DD recently went away with a whole group of her friends, one of whom had dropped out at the last minute. The drop-out girl told DD after the (brilliant) holiday that she'd heard it wasn't anything much - DD was puzzled but decided that one or more of the others had been sparing drop-out girl's feelings who, in turn, was hearing what she wanted to hear and exaggerating, probably without meaning to. In your case friend A's "most of it was good; some bits less so" became "not good at all" in B's head.

MadamDeathstare Sat 30-Jul-16 21:26:50

I agree with Excellent, B shouldn't be telling you what A said. What good does it do to anyone? What are you supposed to do with that information?

I'd ignore it. It is crappy being on vacation with a sick person, but it isn't the sick person's fault for getting sick. It's one of those things that happens and you deal with it, vent to your friends, and move on.

chicaguapa Sat 30-Jul-16 21:36:18

I think friend B has summarised friend A's holiday from her point of view rather than she's repeating what friend A said. Friend A probably reported back on the holiday and told her you'd been ill for a couple of days. Then friend B decided that she hadn't missed out on the holiday of the Century in the end. And gleefully told you that to save face for not having gone.

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