Kids in restaurants- what is acceptable?

(149 Posts)
Craftycah Fri 29-Jul-16 17:59:33

OHs sister has a birthday this weekend so they've booked a meal for 7pm tomorrow. The restaurant is an upmarket one and not a family friendly chain. We have 2 year old twins and because it was a last minute decision, we can't get a babysitter. OH thinks we should go and bring the kids but I don't want to as I simply wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy it while trying to control our 2 live wires. I also don't think it would be fair to everyone else going (and everyone else in the restaurant for that matter).

Ohs sister doesn't mind us not going but OH thinks I'm being a bit silly. Aibu to not want to go? We are going to mils on sunday for dinner for the sister's birthday anyway (this is what was planned all along) so we won't be missing out on the celebration or anything.

Dontneedausername Fri 29-Jul-16 18:03:42

Personally I wouldn't have with my 2 (not twins, but only a year apart!) as my children were always asleep by 6:30pm so having them in a restaurant at 7 would've been a nightmare!
Only now at 5&4 would I take them both to a restaurant at 7pm.

If you think they'll be good, or you can take an iPad and feed them and they'll be happy and quiet enough then just take them smile

PopGoesTheWeaz Fri 29-Jul-16 18:04:49

hmmm, on holiday I do this regularly without batting an eyelash, but I know what you mean about not being able to relax. With just one, maybe, but when I had my second I know what you mean. It totally depends on the restaurant as well, and how likely you think the kids are to act up (especially past bedtime) but if you don't think you'll enjoy it, stay home with the kids and let OH go out. As you said, you'll see everyone shortly afterwards and there will be no family dramas if you dont go.

That said, I wouldn't mind if I were another diner unless the kids were literally running underfoot. I always like seeing well behaved children being treated as part of society rather than something to be locked away.

PotteringAlong Fri 29-Jul-16 18:05:53

Nope, upmarket restaurant + 2 year old (s) + 7pm = not a relaxing experience. Send DH by himself and stay at home

Magstermay Fri 29-Jul-16 18:06:05

YANBU! I only have one 2 year old but no way I would take him to a nice restaurant and definitely not at bed time! Can OH go on his own?

Dontneedausername Fri 29-Jul-16 18:06:16

For the record, we did take ours out every night at 7pm on holiday, but everythings always different on holiday!

cowbag1 Fri 29-Jul-16 18:07:19

I wouldn't. Ds is 19mo, so bit younger, but he would be really crabby by 7pm, let alone for the next hour after that while you eat your dinner.

It would also be too late for him to eat so there's no way he would sit still for any length of time and as it's not a child friendly place, there would be no where to take him to keep him occupied.

Sounds like it's not really been arranged with the expectation that your dts would go (venue and timing not great) so I wouldn't bother.

JuanTime Fri 29-Jul-16 18:09:09

If it's an restaurant environment that not familycentric,I wouldn't.
Some restaurants I expect families,kids and it's no biggie.they offer high chairs,kids menu etc
In a more adult restaurant no kid menu,no high chair.id not want to be in proximity of potentially unsettled grisly kids. I don't take my own kids to such restaurant

Missgraeme Fri 29-Jul-16 18:12:54

Family meal.
Twins are family.
Simple.
Or are u gonna not be part of family celebrations for years to come?
How are they gonna learn to behave out if u don't take them out??
Sons 21 last year - baby was 16 months. Waiters kept him amused with little chats here and there and he loved the place!! Order their food with your starters so they aren't waiting so long to eat.

NeedACleverNN Fri 29-Jul-16 18:13:16

No I wouldn't.

My two are in bed for 6, so dragging them out to a posh restaurant would be hell.

If it was McDonalds, it might be ok but I wouldn't want to

jelliebelly Fri 29-Jul-16 18:13:22

Not fair on the children, not fair on other diners, not fair on you!

FaFoutis Fri 29-Jul-16 18:16:11

YANBU. It doesn't sound like fun for anyone.

Porg Fri 29-Jul-16 18:19:40

I remember when mine were tiny having a rare adult night out. I almost cried when I spent the evening trying to stop the small child on the next table chatting away to us. We hardly ever had babysitters and really wanted a romantic adults only meal.

Family restaurants are a different story though, you expect kids there.

RichardBucket Fri 29-Jul-16 18:21:57

YANBU. It'd be stressful for you, presumably for your twins (as they'd usually be in bed?), probably annoy other diners, and be awkward for the staff.

Artandco Fri 29-Jul-16 18:22:46

I would. We have two close in age, and have eaten out with them since tiny. We usually make dinner reservations for 8pm.

Get 2 year olds to nap late afternoon in pram if needed, and take littl blanket and teddy into restaurant. Then can sleep on you laps if tired later. It's a one off

ceeveebee Fri 29-Jul-16 18:24:11

I wouldn't have taken my twins at that age - if it was lunch time or not an upmarket place it would be different, but at 7pm I'd be too worried about ruining the other diners nights!

JuanTime Fri 29-Jul-16 18:26:36

Irrespective of whether it's a family do,there's a need to consider other diners. I'd say Chose an appropriate venue,then you'll not feel stressed or impose upon others

ShesAStar Fri 29-Jul-16 18:29:47

They'll be overtired and you'll have a horrible time. I would stay home. I am all for taking children to restaurants - mine come with us all the time but not past their bedtime.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Fri 29-Jul-16 18:39:32

If you don't want to take them, why doesn't DH just go?

ohdearme1958 Fri 29-Jul-16 18:41:45

I remember when mine were tiny having a rare adult night out. I almost cried when I spent the evening trying to stop the small child on the next table chatting away to us. We hardly ever had babysitters and really wanted a romantic adults only meal. Family restaurants are a different story though, you expect kids there

In my mind if people thought the restaurant you were in was suitable for children then I'd say you were in the wrong place for a romantic night out.

But that said it was unacceptable for the wee ones parents not to intervene and stop the chatting. Or perhaps you could have just not interacted with the wee one snd brought the conversation to a halt.

We took our children out to eat often, just as our grandchildren are taken out to eat. They're well behaved and I couldn't care less if the restaurants we eat at as a matter of course are a special kids fee treat for others.

DinosaursRoar Fri 29-Jul-16 18:41:48

Send your DH alone. Not really fair on the dcs, although would they sleep in the buggy and could you get them to push back the meal so you definitely got the dcs asleep in the buggy and just park them up next to the table? (With dc1 I could do that at 2 for a meal at more like 8pm and he'd sleep through, although dc2 wouldn't do that)

Pengweng Fri 29-Jul-16 18:43:34

At 2 my twins were in bed asleep at 6.30pm and if i tried to keep them up for any reason they would not react well!! However my friends DD could have been out at all hours and slept in her buggy or just stayed up a bit later and slept later (mine would have still been up at 6am no matter what time they went to bed).

So if it was mine I would stay home and let DH go.

CMOTDibbler Fri 29-Jul-16 18:44:12

Nope. But mine would have been overtired and grumpy at the start of a 7pm meal, not interested in the food, and a pita. We ate out loads at lunchtime and he was great, but he's always been a dedicated sleeper wanting to be in bed at bedtime, and wouldn't just fall asleep on a lap.

CatNip2 Fri 29-Jul-16 18:46:31

Take them, sit on in either side of Your DH and you sit at the other end of the table. It's your husbands idea and you will have a great relaxed time.

Muskateersmummy Fri 29-Jul-16 18:48:16

Depends on lots of factors. The type of restaurant, how well behaved your children are, what they are doing the day of the meal and the following day.

If my dd was with me or DM on that day so could have a quiet day, I would take her with me unless it was a obviously unchild friendly place. But dd eats out with us at least once a week so is very used to it. If she'd had a full on day at preschool (8-6) then I would be more hesitant because she's always very tired after a day like that.

As a one off I probably would go, armed with lots of things to keep dd happy, and blankets etc in case she wanted to sleep in a buggy.

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