Something has been playing on my mind. My partner and I have been together almost 5 years. We met at 19 and we are now 24. We do not have children at the moment. He’s a faithful and loyal guy and I don’t suspect he’s actually cheated for one minute, but I do think he’s fallen in love with someone else.
A young lady joined his team at work and she’s not just pretty, she’s very charming too and has a warm, friendly manner.
My boyfriend is just a typical confident, flirty/friendly guy. He will often comment that girls are hot and I do the same. It’s not an issue. But when I mentioned how pretty his work colleague was he said she wasn’t. It’s the first time he’s denied fancying someone who is attractive.
I’ve noticed at work functions where I have been there, that she has a profound effect on him. He will be relaxed but when she walks into the room he notices and goes quiet/nervous. He notices her straight away. He will then proceed to ignore her completely and go out of his way not to be in her company. She has definitely noticed but seems to be mature about it. He makes a conscious effort not to look at her but does sneak a glance from time to time.
If he has joint work to do with her he makes a big deal in front of myself and colleagues that he can’t remember who he’s going to the meeting with when I know full well he knows he’s going with her. He’s trying to show she doesn’t mean anything to him (no idea why he does this). He will try and get out of any joint work with her as I’ve heard him trying to get out of meetings with her before and he doesn’t do that with anyone else. And yet, while he tries everything he can not to be with her 1 on 1, he always stands near her, just not talking or looking at her.
She has tried to be friendly with him when I’ve been around her and she seems really nice but he doesn’t engage in conversation with her to the point of being rude. I actually felt a bit sorry for her. l I spoke to a member of his team who didn’t know who I was who said ‘look at him there with that school boy crush’. He said that my partner was flirty with the young lady in the office but for some reason outside of the office became very standoffish with her and would’t speak to her/ have joint work with her. No one knows why but they think it might be because someone suggested he liked her. This may have made him uncomfortable but I doubt he would flirt with her if he didn’t find her attractive at all and wanted to put an end to rumours.
I noticed he suddenly started dressing nicer for work too.
We were out for dinner. It was her leaving dinner and he was sat opposite her. He had made sure he wasn’t next to her. People started talking about Facebook and he suddenly came out with ‘You’ve deleted me on Facebook’. She seemed surprised and assured him that she had never had him on Facebook |(something I’m sure he was aware of). She then proceeded to add him. Nothing more was said. If he didn’t like her, I’m sure he wouldn’t want to add her on Facebook. And his way of doing it was slyly trying to get her to add him.
When they were leaving she said bye and he asked her to contact him if she needed any help with her studies.
Now he’s got some new pretty girls in his office and he’s just his usual friendly/flirty/harmless self. I have a feeling he’s still thinking about his old work colleague but if I even try and discuss it he tells me he doesn’t fancy her and just didn’t feel comfortable with her. He probably looks at her Facebook although he never mentions her. Am I being unreasonable to think there’s something about this that shows he has feelings for her? It’s a gut instinct. He seemed so affected by her! Any thought on what could be his reasons for being like this?
I don't think he's cheated or is currently cheating. But I can't help but think he has feelings for her. Just because of the massive difference in the way he cats with her and with everyone else. AIBU? What other explanations could there be?
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AIBU?
To think my Partner has fallen in love with his work collegue
34 replies
littlemisssocialworker · 28/07/2016 22:31
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