HV has put my 9 week old son on a diet

(329 Posts)
OneForTheRoadThen Thu 28-Jul-16 20:24:44

I have a beautiful 9 week old son. He was born at 36+6 and spent the night in SCBU with an infection but after 4 days in hospital he recovered really well. He also had a tongue tie that was snipped at 11 days. However he has never ever latched on so therefore I feed him by expressing as much as I can (usually about 10 oz a day) and feeding him formula for the other feeds.

He weighed 7lb 9 at birth and has put on almost 1lb each week since then so he now weighs 14lb. He is on the 75th centile and quite chubby (but gorgeous).

I have been taking him to be weighed every week at the HV's request and she has often commented on how much weight he has put on. A couple of weeks ago she told him I was feeding him too frequently - I had been feeding on demand and he was feeding about every 2 hours - and that I needed to feed him every 3.5 - 4 hours. We had been working towards this and now I feed him every 3.5 hrs but he would be happier with 3 hourly feeds. Although he doesn't cry he does root, suck his fingers and have to be distracted with a dummy. He was having 6oz every 3.5hrs and finishing the bottle.

I got him weighed yesterday and the HV said he was eating far too much and I was risking him getting obese and having breathing difficulties. She said he must cut down to 5oz every 3.5 hours 'although he wouldn't like it' and be weighed weekly to monitor his progress.

Obviously I feel dreadful. It really upsets me to see him hungry and the constant clock watching and distracting him is getting me down. So AIBU to tell her to fuck off? Or AIBU to continue feeding him on demand and risk his health in the future?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have had similar experiences. Thanks.

babyblabber Thu 28-Jul-16 20:28:06

Wtf?! That has to be the craziest thing I've ever heard. Definitely ignore. You can't restrict a 9 week old's food!

My DS was a monster, 11lbs at birth, 14lbs at 6 weeks and in 18-24 month clothes at 8 months. We look back at photos now and wonder how we weren't worried something was wrong with him! As soon as he started crawling it all evened out and he's now a skinny 6 year old!

Sqooobado453 Thu 28-Jul-16 20:28:31

She's nuts. Ignore her. Can you ask GP for advice or get him weighed elsewhere?

Mrsantithetic Thu 28-Jul-16 20:29:26

She sounds crackers. My dd was 6 pound when born and she put on a pound a week until she hit 16 pounds and the half a pound a week until she hit 20 pounds then she stopped and it slowly went on after.

My son was 9 pound born and put on a pound a week until he hit 18 pounds and then slowed right down. He was a proper chubby wrist rolls the full works. He is about to turn 2, weighs 2 stone 7 and is nearly as tall as his 4 year old sister. I've never heard of restricting food to a child thay young.

OneForTheRoadThen Thu 28-Jul-16 20:30:00

Thank you smile. I was hoping I would get support here. That has made me feel much better.

drinkyourmilk Thu 28-Jul-16 20:30:04

I would get a second opinion. I've never heard of a baby being forced to have reduced milk. I was a nanny for nearly 20 years and have seen some tiny little mites and huge balls of baby. All perfect, all as they have been intended to be. They all slimmed down by 5 years at the latest.
I'm not saying that she doesn't know what she's doing- she is the one with training - but I would definitely ask another health professional for a second opinion , because this is weird advice.

Missgraeme Thu 28-Jul-16 20:30:52

Feed him when he is hungry and go to another clinic.

Thequilltosurvive Thu 28-Jul-16 20:31:12

My nephew was a real chunk as a baby and now he's a lithe two year old. At the absolute least I'd seek a second opinion from a less nuts HV but I'd also be tempted to ignore her completely - don't babies self regulate?

FlyHighLittleBee Thu 28-Jul-16 20:32:28

Definitely tell her to fuck off. Don't let your boy go hungry flowers

Xmasbaby11 Thu 28-Jul-16 20:33:03

Another one saying feed him what he needs. He's too young to be greedy.

CaveMum Thu 28-Jul-16 20:33:18

You don't have to take him to be weighed every week, they can't force you. I went once a month with DD and she was a chubster, not once was I told to restrict her food intake. Babies only eat what they need. Ignore the HV.

99percentchocolate Thu 28-Jul-16 20:33:24

75th centile is fine on my opinion. How many weeks is he?
My DS is 11 weeks and taking 5 ounces every 3 hours with a 5-6 hour gap in the night which doesn't really sound much different to yours and my DS is fine.
At 7lb 9oz at 36 weeks he was born a big boy. I would just ignore and feed when he is hungry.
<not medical>

WrappedInABlankie Thu 28-Jul-16 20:34:02

I had to put my ds on a diet, he comfort ate due to an undiagnosed CMPI he was eating 1000mls a day at 3 weeks. How much all together is he eating? The consultant at the hospital used a formula that was multiply weight in kg by 180ml and divide that number by how many feeds he has. so for example, 6.4 x 180 = 720 / by 6 = 192mls/6.7oz. that's how much he should have to maintain his weight as it is.

It was heart breaking hearing him cry but he comfort ate to help the pain from his milk intolerance so it has worked itself out, he didn't gain as much and is perfect weight now.

However if you don't want to do it. Don't

Xmasbaby11 Thu 28-Jul-16 20:34:18

I knew some huge babies and they were mostly breast fed. They all slimmed down by 2 or 3 yo.

RagamuffinAndFidget Thu 28-Jul-16 20:34:40

Ignore the HV, she sounds awful! My eldest was a little chunk and gained really quickly in the first year or so. He's now really tall and skinny like DH. Some babies just gain weight more quickly than others, it's virtually impossible to actually over feed a tiny baby, they just throw up the excess milk!

FWIW, I had the opposite 'problem' with my second - they apparently gained weight too slowly! Third baby is the same, only 20ish lbs at 13.5mo, somewhere around the 9th centile. He's just a little dot! They're all different. I've learned to ignore the weight charts and generally just base it on whether they look reasonable fit and healthy. If they're meeting milestones at a roughly average rate and seem happy, etc, then they're probably OK.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Thu 28-Jul-16 20:35:00

WTF?! My DD was EBF and put on 1lb a week for the first 6 weeks (was 14lbs at 6 week check). She's 1 now and still 98th centile, and I've never had any concerns expressed at all.
Putting a 9 week old on a diet seems insane.

WrappedInABlankie Thu 28-Jul-16 20:35:21

If you're breastfeeding feed on demand. If you're formula feeding you can't feed on demand.

NoCapes Thu 28-Jul-16 20:35:28

Stop taking him to be weighed!
I stopped taking DS1 when they worried me to death saying repeatedly he was underweight (I can't frigging force feed him!!)
And I never took DD or DS2, it's not compulsory

99percentchocolate Thu 28-Jul-16 20:35:47

Sorry, missed that he was 9 weeks (I was looking for that too!)
I would definitely ignore.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Thu 28-Jul-16 20:36:38

And both mine were only weighed at their 6 week check, 1 year check and 2 year check. I never took them in between!

sunnydayinmay Thu 28-Jul-16 20:36:50

Agree - wtf! My eldest was demand fed on formula (had no choice as he would scream after two hours and nothing but milk would console him). He leapt up from 50% centile to 91st centile by 3 months, and has stayed their ever since.

He is 12 years old now, 5ft 8, and still on his 91st centile for weight (and fit and toned as a sporty 12 year old should be).

I would stop weighing and just feed and enjoy your baby.

NoCapes Thu 28-Jul-16 20:37:04

Wrapped of course you can FF on demand confused

Laurah1979 Thu 28-Jul-16 20:37:25

Ah this drives me mad. My son put on a pound a week for the first few months and was off the scale in his red book. We even got referred to the gp by the health visitor. He was just breastfed so short of starve him, I'm not sure what else I was supposed to do. The gp just gave me a knowing nod and told me he didn't need to see us again! He's now 4 and perfectly on 75th centile for height and weight. Ignore ignore.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Thu 28-Jul-16 20:37:43

Why can't you feed on demand if FF? I thought that was the advice now? All formula feeders I know feed on demand for the first few months at least

mirime Thu 28-Jul-16 20:37:46

I think do went from 9th to over 50th by 10 weeks. He was ebf and fed hourly. HV told me as long as it was a nice smooth curve on the chart it was fine.

Get a second opinion.

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