Not getting involved in young kids fall outs?

(2 Posts)
Saffy80 Thu 28-Jul-16 16:41:35

Dd is 5 and since she started school I've not interfered if she comes home saying someone said / did this to me, or me and whoever aren't best friends anymore etc, because they all do that right it's normal?? Especially with girls and being so young, unless it was something serious or she was being bullied or hurt I don't get involved and trust the school to deal with fall outs while she is there at the school.

Thing is, Dd was being pushed over daily by a little boy in the playground a couple of months ago, dd told me the teacher saw what happened and he'd been told off, but it kept happening. They had been friends up til this point and dd said it was apparently because she was playing with another little boy who was this boy's best friend. He didn't like it so when they kept on playing he pushed dd over. After 3 occasions in one week I thought I'd better ask the teacher about it, dd is a tough cookie but was starting to get upset.

Before I'd had chance to say anything, the teacher called me over first at drop off the next morning and told me what had been happening, I said dd had told me and then she reassured me they were dealing with it.

At pick up the boy's mum came storming up to me really angry, said she saw me go to the teacher (I didn't, she came to me and for all she knows we were talking about something else), she'd always been friendly up til this point and I was shocked how aggressive she was saying don't you ever effing go to the teacher about my son again you come to me to sort it out.

I tried to explain but she wouldn't let me talk and said he pushed dd over because she was being mean to him, I said shall we tell them to stay away from each other and play with other friends til things have calmed down, she said yes but if anything else happens you come to me not the school.

Since then she has refused to speak to me and just glares, I gave up trying to say hello. A friend said she overheard her telling some other mums I was a trouble maker and then I noticed one stopped being friendly. We'd had her little girl over for a play date before this and her mum had said dd should come to theirs next, then after this I never heard back from her and she seems really awkward with me if we bump into each other, although our daughters are still good friends at school. She now always stands in a group with the little boy's mum because she seems to have befriended her and I see things on FB that the boy's mum is arranging for the group of kids my dd is friends with, but she now leaves us out which is fair enough but she tags everyone else then posts all the pics, thankfully dd doesn't see all that. She also recently got friendly with another mum I know because our dd's play together a lot at school, and again the mum now seems awkward around me.

Surely I'm not imagining these things, the boy's mum must have been saying things about me to other mums? It's really worrying me now it's happened twice. Though dd is still good friends with these girls and even with the little boy again now, in fact she said s she loves him and they're getting married! Should I just leave things and carry on not getting involved or should I approach her or the other mums? I really don't want to get involved in any drama or unpleasantness especially where the kids are all fine, it's the mums! I'm worried what's being said about me that's not true, but really don't want to go near this mum, she scares me tbh! 😐

itsmine Thu 28-Jul-16 16:56:42

Just ignore, she sounds batshit and the other mums will soon cotton on.
Arrange for other friends to come over. You have years of this and the crazy parents are best avoided.

Hide any fb stuff.

Yes you did the right thing leaving it to school, never get involved with parents because none of us believe our dc are responsible and do not try and smooth things over with this parent, give her a very wide berth grin

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