I need to set the scene first.
I'm a lone parent who works 25 hours Monday to Friday. I live 3 miles from my parents (in their 70's) as does my married brother.
I'm on leave this week as is my brother. I've obviously made plans for the week and my DD (9) and I have been busy until today.
I had lunch with my parents Sunday just gone so 3 days ago. I told my mum I had plans majority of the week etc as I wanted to spend it with DD.
My mum has had a urine infection and I'd asked if she needed me to do anything on Sunday, she said no and it had now gone.
My brother only sees my parents when he picks his kids up from my parents who do a lot of childcare for him and his wife. His wife usually does pick up, so he sees them probably once a month. I see them at least twice a week and speak 2/3 times a week on the phone.
I've just had this passive aggressive phone conversation with my mum.
Oh you're in then, yes mum you ok?
No I've been in bed all week ill, oh right, I didn't know we've been mad busy.
Yes, I've not warranted a phone call from you have I, you're not interested in me.
No mum, I saw you on Sunday and I didn't know you've been poorly as we've been out all week.
Then a barrage of unpleasantness came of how I don't care, her bed needs changing and housework needs doing.
So I said we were going to call to see her anyway today, so I'll change bed etc later.
She wanted to know what time, I said sometime this afternoon and that wasn't good enough! (She's not going out today either).
I said you can ask 'x' my brother for help as he's off this week and she said 'you can't ask a man to do housework or change beds'.
I said it's not the 1950's you know and she said it's a woman's job.
I just give up, I'm always her first call to shout at and have a go. My brother does nothing and leads a charmed life.
So I'll go up there and the bed will be changed already and she'll moan I wasn't willing to help and how poorly she is and is worse now she's changed the bed.
My dad is awful to her as he finds her constant trips to the GP and illnesses draining (he doesn't believe her). This sounds horrible but every time I see her she only talks about the next hospital appointment or illness and they all merge into one with us all and we can't keep up.
So do I try to reason with her or just do the housework and smile sweetly!
I can't confront my brother as it will all blow up in a massive argument and it will be twisted to be my fault.
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AIBU?
To have told my mum it's not the 1950's when discussing housework!
13 replies
ilovewelshrarebit123 · 28/07/2016 11:42
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