Sigh. Another house issue here, I've posted before about DH being very controlling about what we have in the house furniture-wise, but we had a 'big talk' recently and I told him I needed to feel that I had a say in the decorating, that I had felt disenfranchised in our previous place, that I wanted to be able to choose some things for the house (we just bought...a place we both liked very much with lots of character).
Yesterday I bought some things at an antique shop without asking or telling him what I was intending to do. Not big things (OK here's what they are: a bench, which I wanted to put baskets on, and an old ladder I wanted to put against a wall to hang scarves/jumpers on. Nice things, I feel very defensive about this. It was a good idea. Or so I thought. Lovely things, lovely wood, nice waxy finish and stylish, I thought.) I bought them into the house and was pleased with the effect.
I knew it was a risk, I'd felt guilty even as I paid for them (my own money which I earned) but when I told H I'd bought a bench he was furious and shouted at me. Before he'd seen it. He said I'd obviously been ripped off and bought some old junk, that he hated benches, that I should have told him I was buying something and showed him a picture, that he'd never buy anything without asking me . So, a totally bad reaction.
He's since seen the bench (it's a really nice bench) and realised it looked good but rather than being contrite he just said it wasn't French (the antique place said it was) but English. He's lying. There is absolutely no way he could know this. I really felt such hatred for him when he said that. Totally undermined. I haven't told him about the ladder.
I have (predictably) gone ballistic about this. His reaction was over the top. But am now wondering if perhaps he had a point and I should have at least told him I was buying it? What do other people do? Is it normal to have to ask permission?
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To wonder if DH's reaction was normal?
167 replies
MrsMcBoatface · 28/07/2016 05:46
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