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AIBU?

To think I'm not the only one who wouldn't be happy about this.

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Buddahbelly · 27/07/2016 19:59

I shouldn't even need to be having this conversation, yet here I am again stuck against dp, sil, mil & fil. Huge backstory with mil (Alcoholic, has only ever minded ds during the day, lets him go into her neighbours gardens who she barely knows, after I've asked her not to, The 1 time she watched him at our house he was 5 months old. when we came back at 11pm she was sitting drinking a huge bottle of cider she had brought with her. After that I never asked her back)

Thats just a snap shot of the last 4 years, its been much worse!

So sil is now living back at their house, she has been hinting for months now about ds going for a sleepover (by hinting she says when we are all there to ds, Oh you'll have to come and have a sleepover at nannys house wont you, then looks directly at me to gauge my reaction!)

Dp took ds to there house on sunday, we have a wedding to go to this weekend and it must have been mentioned as sil has now decided its the perfect excuse to have ds for the night (mil wont even ask anymore as she knows how I feel about her watching him). Dp mentioned it to me when he came in and I laughed it off, more of a well where do you think they'd put him for the night type of laugh.

Mil is currently in the master bedroom (most nights she is drunk and can pass out anywhere), sil is in the spare bedroom with her 2 dogs who live with them, and fil sleeps in the box bedroom because of a) his illness and b) mil usually disturbs him when shes trying to get into bed. Apart from that there is the couch.

Ds does not settle anywhere else, we have taken him to relatives houses before and come bedtime he kicks up a massive fuss, clings onto me and wont settle at all, so we've ended up coming home here. Every night here though he happily goes off to bed, i tuck him in and say night and leave him and hes fine, its just other peoples houses, even people he knows and loves.

I know they don't need this on top of fil's illness, so what I've suggested is they have him for the day (were not going to the wedding till the evening anyway) then when its time fr bed sil can bring him home here and watch him till we get back.

But no, Im the worlds worst apparently and I don't trust them at all with ds (I trust sil slightly more than mil but not much) so what they want to do basically is have him all day, letting him play in there road with the other children, keep him there at night and have him all the next day to go out somewhere. He will either sleep in mil's bed or Sil's as there is nowhere else to put him, Did I mention that sil uses her bedroom to have her friends around to smoke weed in, and my silver lining and the thing im meant to be truly grateful about is that she wont do it this week so the room is fresh for ds .

They think this will all go to their little plan, but what will probably happen is that he has a lovely time playing with the other kids, comes in for tea and bath and is so tired he'll already be screaming, then he'll ask to go to his own bed, they'll try and settle him, this will go on for a few hours and rather than bring him home as we've asked mil will make a point of keeping him there so as to prove that he can stay out. he will wake every few hours and begin crying again (as he still does at home too) they will get no sleep, he will get no sleep, Ill get no sleep as Ill be too busy worrying whats happening and the next day will be ruined for everyone.

And yet im the bad person for not wanting him to sleep at their house. He has stayed at my mums in the past but she has a spare room for him and hes happy there. aibu?

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Magstermay · 27/07/2016 20:04

YANBU!!
That doesn't sound like a situation I'd want my DS in and he's the priority. I'd stick firmly to SIL putting him to bed at yours and they can have him again the next day if they want.
Why on earth would it be acceptable to sleep in a bed with an alcoholic??