MIL sending passive aggressive texts to son via me

(34 Posts)
comfortblankie Tue 26-Jul-16 16:50:02

WIBU to tell my MIL that I'm not her son's secretary and to stop asking me to tell her son to keep in touch with her?

We're on holiday at the moment, but even at the weekend at home she would text me, demanding that he would phone her asap.

It's never urgent or a crisis, but definitely if she carries this up she'll be like the boy who cried wolf.

KittensandKnitting Tue 26-Jul-16 16:50:49

I'd send a message back saying

"have you lost his number? Here it is..."

RatherBeRiding Tue 26-Jul-16 16:54:14

Why can't she phone him? Does he refuse to take her calls?

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 26-Jul-16 16:54:46

My MIL tried this for a while, back in the early days when we were all still speaking (another thread). I was annoyed, told her to speak to him directly. He was livid with her. And told her if she wanted to talk ti him she knew where he was. He's not a child and I'm not a PA.

Kittens reply might do the trick. But it'll have more weight coming from him.

IJustLostTheGame Tue 26-Jul-16 17:11:34

Pretend you haven't got the message. That's what I do.

LurkingHusband Tue 26-Jul-16 17:17:48

Pretend you haven't got the message. That's what I do.

Bit PA ?

No need to pretend. You got the message. You ignored it. End of story.

CuboidalSlipshoddy Tue 26-Jul-16 17:20:11

Why has your mother in law got your mobile number?

blueturtle6 Tue 26-Jul-16 17:21:54

I used to get this, started to ignore her, then mil started complaining to DH I was ignoring her texts. I quickly pointed out the irony.....

Lorelei76 Tue 26-Jul-16 17:29:56

Id have words
If it turns she doesn't think he checks his mobile, tell her to take it up with him.

coffeetasteslikeshit Tue 26-Jul-16 17:37:28

What do you do at the moment? Do you pass on the messages?

I would ignore them, then if she comments just say that you aren't his mother and you're not going to nag him on her behalf. In a nice tone obviously. It's not worth falling out over.

I've had similar with my mum when my DH was doing some work on her house. She kept ringing me to ask what he was doing. She seemed to be genuinely surprised, and maybe even a little shocked, that I have no idea where my DH is half the time, and I certainly don't know what he's doing.

Why has your mother in law got your mobile number?
Presumably because they are family?

comfortblankie Tue 26-Jul-16 17:41:23

At the moment I try my best to ignore them, until maybe bed when I lose my nerve and give out to DH that I'm not a go-between. Not the best approach, I know sad

@Cuboidal - hmm

MrsSippy Tue 26-Jul-16 17:52:18

Why has your mother in law got your mobile number?

Presumably because she's family...confused

MrsSippy Tue 26-Jul-16 17:53:14

X-post Coffee!

Pickitup Tue 26-Jul-16 17:54:23

Just ignore.

yummycake123 Tue 26-Jul-16 17:56:29

I had this problem with an ex. He was rubbish at keeping in touch so his sister would message me things like: "Please tell X Mum misses him and it would be nice if he made the effort to call her"...

I told her to please talk to him directly because I felt uncomfortable being in the middle. And she stopped...
But I'm a bit blunt and to the point.

My mum is trying to do the same thing with me and my brother; she complains to me that my brother never calls her and asks me to tell him to call! hmm I keep telling her she can call him and tell him how she feels, he's her son...

DelphiniumBlue Tue 26-Jul-16 17:57:46

I'd just reply that I'd passed on the message but that he's ignoring me too! He really needs to deal with her himself.

ClopySow Tue 26-Jul-16 18:46:58

Why has your mother in law got your mobile number

Wha..?

KittensandKnitting Tue 26-Jul-16 19:55:16

I'm shocked by the question why has your mother in law got your mobile number

Seriously...

CuboidalSlipshoddy Tue 26-Jul-16 20:02:15

I wouldn't dream of giving my

Arfarfanarf Tue 26-Jul-16 20:06:11

Just text her back
you need to text him not me.

CuboidalSlipshoddy Tue 26-Jul-16 20:07:00

Number to my in laws. Why would they need it? I'm not their child. In 30 years they have never communicated with me directly, nor would I expect them to either want or need to.

KittensandKnitting Tue 26-Jul-16 20:47:47

Each to their own, I find it strange but maybe you have issues with your inlaws.

i consider mine family and DP considers my mother and brother family. If anything ever happened to me then I'm quite happy that DP can contact my mother and visa versa of anything happened to him then id want to inform his parents.

LellyMcKelly Wed 27-Jul-16 02:38:27

Get your husband to tell her. I'm in the same boat - my SIL and BIL came last week and made all the arrangements through me, not him. He showed up for the meal 3 hours later. We are bloody mugs.

VioletBam Wed 27-Jul-16 02:47:20

My MIL does this. I've just had a row with DH about it. It's HIS fucking Mother.

HE needs to be the one.

AcrossthePond55 Wed 27-Jul-16 02:48:41

So, does your DH avoid calling her? Not judging him if he is, he may have a good reason, maybe she calls him 10 times a day. But he needs to deal with the issue directly with his mother and tell her that you are not a relay service.

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