The 'it' is being disowned by my mother and siblings. It's been 3 years now since I last had contact with my mother and 6 years since I have seen any of my siblings or neices/nephews.
I still get very sad and can be emotional at times (not the rocking in the corner type of emotional but teary eyed which I try to avoid the DC seeing and chain smoking the the garden) especially when I see something relevant on TV like close family relationships, or the Long Lost Family programme, and at Christmas/Easter and on my DC's birthdays when the lack of family presence is more noticable.
DH has been telling me basically since I was 'cast out', not to talk about them/think about them and just to move on.
I know he will be devastated when his own mother dies but I'm not allowed to be because mine is still alive and she is/was pretty abusive.
As far as I am concerned I will never get over it or the impact it will have on my DC's knowing their family/history in the future. I expect to always carry this sadness and I am pretty angry about it because I don't want to carry it!
DH expecting me to just forget about it pisses me off even more.
It's him BU surely?
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to think that NO I should not be over 'it' by now!
17 replies
Dumpelstiltskin · 25/07/2016 23:25
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